FF vs. Relationship (how can you win?)?

Question

My bf plays FF majority of the time. I understand you can't change people, and I don't intend too.. But I've traveled thousands of miles accepting the fact that I don't have any family members here just to be with him and I feel ignored. He wakes up in the late afternoons, plays FF, gets off after 4-5 hours, gets in the shower and goes to work at night. It's become so routine. I've mentioned it too him, but he thinks I'm trying to take him away from it. He's invited me to play, but I find FF complicated and to pay a price to be a member? He complains about money going out and hardly coming in.. I'm confused but still don't know what to do. Any advise would be appreciated greatly.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your advise. I have talked about it with him, and he continues to think I'm trying to change him.. He says he needs time to get use to being in a relationship after being single for 3 years.. So I decided to give him "alone" time.. But even that gets him upset.. He mentioned the night before that he has thought about sending me back to my island because "I'm not happy". I want this to work, he's a great guy, and I do love him, but the things I say, or do.. I don't know how to satisfy him. Because I've never lived in this state before, I've asked him what can we do to where we don't have to spend much.. Then he answers me with a question,.. "what do you want to do?" and I reply, "I'm simple, a walk down the street is fine with me.." But then he looks at his computer screen, plays his final fantasy and leaves me hanging.. So I walk away and call my family just to surpass time.

Answer 1

This is coming from a video game addict: either accept what is happening now or get out. I am very concious of how much I am playing because I don't want my wife to feel lonely. I do this proactively...without her saying anything because I love her and respect her needs.

If your BOYFRIEND isn't willing to do that now, it is only going to get worse if/when you got married. Many women don't get the idea that men don't get better as time goes on. We get worse...unless we acknowledge it and make sure we don't do it.

Your probably going to just do what you want anyway which is to be ignored and just complaint to everyone about it later on...when the writing is on the wall now. Do yourself a favor and quit wasting time.

There obviously is a good reason he was single for 3 years! If you don't even have enough self esteem to say "Look...spend time with me and not every waking moment on FF"...why should he do it?

Also, I worked 2 jobs when I needed money to come in. Sounds like he has alot of free time that he could do the same if money is an issue.

Seriously...if you are young right now, you think you have all the time in the world...but your 20's are precious...wasting years of it is just stupid. You are going to miss out on a really good guy because you are wasting freaking time right now.

Answer 2

wow that sucks... i have a friend that had a problem somewhat similar. I would try 3 things #1 i would try to beat him at his own game to see if he would get tired of it. stop messing with him and go out on your own. have fun and let him do his own stuff when your gone. If he is really worth the time he shall start to miss u and ta-dom:P #2 play with him try to beat him and see i you two have fun together or ask if u can play (most FF's are 1 player) and make him do something while u are on (the switch around) :P #3 invite him to lunch or dinner or some were nice if he is kool he will have to go. If u are really concerned talk to him while he is out so he wont have his mind in the PlayStation and he will have it on u:P

hope u like my advice i think it will work and have a good time if u can :-)

~Lady Yuna of the wind (ha ha FF 10 lol thats my name ha ha)

Answer 3

I'm not an FF addict. He seems to want to enjoy himself, so perhaps you could suggest something fun (an inexpensive) for the two of you to do together. Don't try to force him out of it. He enjoys it. He enjoys you. Just think of something that the two of you can do together to have fun. Also, the more time he spends away from the game, the less he'll want to go back (at least this is generally how I work). Good luck.

By the way, I wouldn't try threatening him that you'd leave if he doesn't stop. This will probably make him more attached to the game, or less attached to you. This is a drastic measure.

Answer 4

He's addicted to playing Final Fantasy Xl. I think he's outta get off his *** and make some money if he's complaining about money. You don't deserve to be ignored if you came from so far just to be with him. You should really talk to him about it and tell him to spend more time with you instead of the game or else it'll just deteriorate. I say you deserve better unless he's willing to change a bit because that's just not fair for you.
So have a long talk and tell him what you've done for him and tell him what he could do for you! =)

Answer 5

I do the same thing with SOCOM. Not every day though. My fiance has no complaints about it either. That may have to do with the fact that I do make time for her. (or have time) Now if that's all he does is play then go to work come home sleep play again, there is a problem. That realy can't be called a relationship. Unless you meen with his game. That makes a tough call on your part. I couldn't realy advise you on the matter. Seeing asto how I care enogh about my woman to not play all the time.

Answer 6

I hate to be the one to say this, but he's not going to change. I am a girl gamer, but thank God, I don't play online games and don't go on binges of gaming. I do have guy friends who do, however, and more often than not, they end up being alone because their girlfriends get sick of being ignored.

There is something about people who are attracted to gaming, especially online gaming and MMORPG's, in the first place that makes them more of an addictive personality.

You'd do best to threaten to leave him and see what he does. Short of truly believing he's going to lose you, he won't change.

Answer 7

FF as in Final Fantasy? Dump him and come thousands of miles to be with me, I wouldnt ignore you for some stupid video game =)

Answer 8

Relationship

Answer 9

Sounds like it's time for an ultimatum, of sorts...don't tell him he has to give up Final Fantasy completely--he'll just resent you for it. But tell him that if he doesn't make more time for you, then you're gone. Quick way to find out how much he really cares...

Answer 10

if ff stands for Final Fantasy (the playstation game) then dear you have absolutely no way of ever winning...
when is gonna be realeased fianl fantasy XI in spain, for God´s sake????