I understand that marriages are supposed to have ups and downs and such, but I think I would be more content with life if someone would tell me if marriage is supposed to be only so-so 98% of the time. I have a wonderful husband who is a great person. We fight on occasion, and that I can deal with. We also have these great moments in which I feel we connect on a level at which I connect with no other person. My main complaint is that so much of the time we spend together is boring. Nothing is happening. No anger, no passion, no laughter, no bonding, nothing - just blah. If I could get away from the idea that marriage is supposed to be more than what it seems to be for me, I think I could be happier with it. Like if I knew it was normal to feel "blah" for a good portion of the time, I'd be happier about being "blah." So please, people who have good marriages, let me know.
2006-07-09 16:04:44 · 11 answers · asked by emily 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's been particularly tough lately because we are living in separate states during the week for our careers and only seeing one another on the weekends. I come home looking to have real quality time, and he is looking to take several naps throughout the day.
2006-07-09 16:17:40 · update #1
Oh yeah, one more thing. I don't understand what he does for a living (oil field work) and I have to keep all of my client info confidential so we can't talk about our jobs really.
2006-07-09 16:19:42 · update #2
i hope this is not mean but you are immature you have an idea of what it is supposed to be when what you should be doing is making it what it is you are not a child your mate is not a toy off the shelf sent t o you for enjoyment yes it is not exciting all the time a mature person would call it comfortable you don't have to be talking playing partying every waking moment that is not realistic, I don't understand did you think that there was this cool happening life that only married people no about ? it is still life that you are sharing with the one you love what ever it may bring , i just realized what you sound like . A child who has a 8:30 bedtime but is trying to stay woke cause he thinks the real party happens when he goes to sleep give me a break and your husband too he is not your entertainment he is your partner my goodness!
2006-07-09 16:25:30 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're feeling 'blah' for much of the time, you need to get a life. Being married doesn't mean you stop being a person. In fact, it's even more important that you remain an individual and nurture the things that drew him to you in the first place. His job in life is not to entertain you 24 hours a day, nor is your job to entertain him. Do you have any separate interests? Do you work? Or are you at home all day, waiting for him to come home and be Prince Charming? If you don't have to work, you've got time and energy to do some volunteer work in your community, to take up an interest or an activity, to get involved in sports or athletics of some sort -- in short, to do something that will help fulfill YOU. And when you come home again, you've got something to share, and something to talk about.
Or you can take up something new and different together -- set a goal to ride a bike across your state or province. Paddle down a river. Join a drama group. Give yourselves a chance to find new interests and meet new people, and share the experience.
It really isn't normal to feel 'blah' for a good portion of the time, whether you're married or single. Life is too short to waste on being 'blah'.
Good luck to you.
2006-07-09 23:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is what you make of it. It's okay to feel blah sometimes. Marriage is a full time job that you have to work at if you want a promotion. If he takes 2 steps forward, then you have to take 3 steps. I have been through the same situation with my marriage. I have been married 13 years. Don't just sit around waiting on him to make the first move. You initiate the conversations or whatever. Make the things that you want to happen, happen!! The same passion and intimacy and laughter that brought you together will keep you together. Do not let it die. The devil is out to destroy the family. Keep God first. What God has joined together, let no man separate. I hope this helps you.
2006-07-09 23:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by chhuff2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a great marriage and yes marriage can be blah.But I do think that it is what you make it.I have been married 7 yrs, together as a couple over 10, and friends for over 15+, and were only in our early 30's.Anyways, you have to work and pay bills and take care of kids, and sometimes life falls into a routine, but at the end of the day, it's all worth it.Every bit of it.However, take the time as a family, and make it quality time.I know as a family on a budget, you aren't able to go alot of places and spend lots of cash.But there are things you can all do at minimum costs.Like picnics, or going swimming, or to the park.Then,when you have the alone time,as a couple,make it what you want.Get intamite,have fun,get kinky.That's the best part of marriage.You can open up to him and do anything and know it's between you two.Sex can be even hotter when your married,if you want it to.Just open up,communicate,and if you both agree and want to,get sex toys,or costumes.Your married!!!!Have fun,enjoy each other...it's okay!!!
2006-07-09 23:13:57 · answer #4 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are feeling "blah" a good portion of the time, it's time to make some changes in the time you spend together. Like ... tickle him while you are watching tv. Use humour a lot. Could be you or he or more likely both of you are over-stresed and taking l ife too seriously and need to lighten up some overall.
My husband and I have fun together almost all the time. And it isn 't because we don't have a lot going on, or because we are doing a lot of fun things all the time. I am bedridden 60%o of the time, our finances are tight, and we have other issues as well, as do most people. But we approach life and our marriage with a huge sense of humour, and with the attitude that life is too short not to make it fun.
We are always giggling, teasing each other (always in positive ways, never, ever demeaning); talking about everything, sharing our thoughts, dreams, and regrets, but most of all, just enjoying being with each other.
I believe you can make your marriage a great one, not just a blah one.
2006-07-09 23:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well 4 my husband and myself...he works a lot and when he is home he sleeps so yes it is" blah." BUT on his days off we go out to stores even if we don't buy anything,we go 2 park,rent movies,or just grocery shopping. Any time that we can spend together is worth it. Don't give up I know sometimes it feels like a routine but it is up 2 u on how long that will last. U should initiate conversation or activities u both enjoy. If u love ur husband it shouldn't matter u should try ur best for ur marriage and u never know maybe if he sees u trying he will 2.
2006-07-09 23:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by India 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, marriage is "real life". There are some quiet times. But, if you are bored, that is you - don't blame it on the marriage. I am never bored - married or single, because I have tons of interests and friends and never have time to do everything I enjoy.
You would be bored if your were alone. It is within your power to put some pizazz in your life, which would put more life in your marriage. You set the tone of the relationship. Maybe you are depressed and nothing gets your excited about life. Have you had a physical check-up lately? Quit being a boring person! As Dr. Phil says, I want you to get excited about your life! Do that! Good Luck!
2006-07-09 23:20:03 · answer #7 · answered by moonmother2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage if fun especially after the arrival of your children. To make a marriage work, it needs a lot of effort from both parties. If one party do not work on the relationship hard enough, it will fail. I do not know if you have children. If not start a family. Once you have children you will have so much to do that you have no time to feel bored. Once you child arrives into this world, a whole new chapter of married life begins. I enjoyed watching my 2 children grow up. After 24 years of marriage, I still love and enjoy with my wife like we first met. Make an effort to change your lifestyle instead of following routines.
2006-07-09 23:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by Lost Sheep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given your situation, it sounds pretty normal. If I were in your situation, it would be difficult to maintain the relationship since you both are apart much of the time. Is this situation permanent or a long term thing? Would it be possible for one or both of you to change it so that you could spend more time with each other? I'd seriously consider it. "Quality" time is a function of the amount of time you can be together.
2006-07-10 01:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by rb42redsuns 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it ismeant to be fun and those who tell you other wise will only say so and so because there own marriage is so and so,marriage needs to fun,loving and exciting to stay healthy and long lived,if things get boring you need to find things you two can do together that will be enjoyable for the both of you,
2006-07-09 23:18:16 · answer #10 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋