I'm engaged to be married. But, My fiancee has totally ignored me all week. He works swing shift and is on midnights. He came by Wednesday to show me his new 3quarter ton truck he bought. Bear in mind he traded a 2005 chevy crew cab in for this 2006. His mom passed in February suddenly of a massive heart attack. Its been placed upon me to take care of the family. Its 3men and me. My fiancee's dad isn't doing well with this loss of his wife at all. I feel pushed away. Not to mention my fiancee is passed out right now with a guy buddy at the river house because he's drunk. We broke up right before I finished nursing school b.c i felt he wasn't listening to me and got back together 3mo later. Only for his mom to pass. I don't know what to do?? I take marriage very strongly. I need to know are my doubts crazy or am I thinking normal like any other bride to be would??
2006-07-09 15:16:23 · 5 answers · asked by Lindsey B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What do you want? Is this what you wanted? Make a choice that you will be happy with. Take inconsideration your needs and feelings. Your feelings and needs are important here, if they aren't met you will never be happy.
2006-07-09 15:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you've said, your fears are justified and it is totally normal to be anxious.
It seems like he is the kind of guy that is'nt always dying to talk to his fiancee...which is normal. Just that, if you expect something like that, you need to be prepared to not get it all the time.
Before you take the plunge, try and figure out what kind of stuff you will have to tolerate, what you can change and get the whole picture basically, so you don't have any unpleasant surprises later.
2006-07-09 15:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by barefoot_on_hot_coals 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You appear to be very sympathetic for him, especially with the loss of his mother. You have compromised your standards as well as your desires to continue to be there for him. However, that is not your responsibilty. I understand that he is going through a whole lot, but he has to also understand that you are a very important part of his life. He can't continue to take you for granted. Don't throw in the towel until you give him an opportunity to do better. It will not be healthy for the two of you to get married right away. If you find that his behavior has not changed, don't hesitate to move on. Remember, you need to take care of yourself!
2006-07-09 15:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is ignoring you now, And you are allowing it, Then it will only get worse with time.
Perhaps he does not understand that you do not enjoy being the caregiver to his family (Some women actually do enjoy that), Unless you make it perfectly clear to him what you expect of him in regards to your emotional needs, You cannot expect that he will somehow make the right choice.
Do not allow a death in the family to excuse his neglect of your needs.
Good luck.
2006-07-09 15:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by chubbiguy40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a break and tell him that when he figures out what he wants then to give you a call. all you can do is promise to answer the phone. while it is noble to take care of his family it is not your responsibility and if he really can't see that you are willing to put yourself out there for him and his entire family then he doesn't deserve you anyway.
2006-07-09 15:22:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sharp Marble 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋