This is it, my friend and I have been friends for 10 years. Next year we're going to the same university. This year was quite challenging for both of us. We both had tough times with friends, and boyfriends, on seperate terms. It was often the case where she would completly leave me out of her life, then when she needed me, she would wonder why I'm not as close to her. I always gave her space and had a good explanation for the way I was acting. But she never let up, and it could never be her fault. Well now I've had enough of always taking the blame. But now, I realise that as always she doesn't do anything about this, and Im left wondering how much i mean to her. WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS? OR SHOULD I LEAVE IT TO HER AND STOP CARING MYSELF?
2006-07-09 14:58:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should tell her exactly how you feel and point out how she only contacts you when she needs something. After she knows and you have made it clear how you feel, its her move. If she doesnt care or respond just forget about her. It doesnt sound like shes much of a friend anyway. But maybe she doesnt know or realize what shes doing. If you tell her it might open her eyes and make her change and make an effort to really be your friend. Just remember, true friends are worth keeping but false selfish "friends" should be let go. Good luck!!! I hope everything works out well for you! :-)
2006-07-09 15:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by Ex-Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend has some confusion in her life and needs to grow up a bit and get her priorities straight. You have done nothing wrong except be there for her when she needed you, butat the same time she is using as a friend in expecting you to be there too. Nobody would ever blame you for anything if you just get tired of being there on demand and quit being friends. You can tell her what you told us and tell her plainly youre tired of this arrangement and just where do you stand with her. Yes, true friends are supposed to stand by each other thru anything but there comes a time when enough is enough and one becomes tired of being used and this is what I believe you are telling us, take it no more good luck
2006-07-09 22:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turmoil and conflicts in relationships are common. However, you must first understand that conflicts are usually caused by a discrepancy in the directions two people move. When your directions clash, you experience a conflict. The direction and velocity of your movement determines the intensity of a conflict. Let me come down to earth now.
In your case, it seems like you are the only one who's MORE interested in this friendship. Well, it doesn't have to be like that. You need to get more friends...other friends. I bet your friend (whom you are conflicting with now) have no problem looking for other friends and enjoying herself that way. You have to do the same. Not for her sake but for your own sake...!
The best thing about friendship (compared to marriage) is that you get to have many of them. So, go ahead and make new friends and learn different things from different people. Don't focus on hurt...that come from friendship. If there were no hurt...there will be no happiness too.
Wish you all the best. There are people who will die to have a faithful and committed friend like YOU. So, stop getting depressed...and start getting excited about the possibilities you can have and offer to others.
2006-07-09 22:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by Edward R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As we grow up and move through life, our goals and expectations change. We often find that some people who once were really close to us are no longer there, ignore us, push us away and down us. If you love someone, let them go before it gets so bad that you end on bad terms. If time goes by and you see that that person changed and wants you back in their life then weigh it out at that time to see if it's right.
2006-07-09 22:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by microsvc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, "friends" come and go; even those whom we have known for years. She is what is called a 'fair weather friend'...she only wants you on her terms. I say go about your business putting your own needs first. Should she remember to call or come visit, remind her that it will be on YOUR terms. If she can't take it, SHE CAN'T STAY! Friendship means "respect" and you ain't gettin' none! Find some new friends too. OH...and don't let anyone walk all over you...ok?? You allowed it to happen so it is sort of your fault too.
2006-07-09 22:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she's unwilling to work on things or even admit there is a problem, I'd say it's time to move on. At this point, it sounds like she's just using you, but I would give it one more good try before letting the friendship go.
2006-07-09 22:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by trinitytough 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the situation get the best of you focus more on your studies even at a distant you can be the friend that you have always been.
2006-07-09 22:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by sexy chocolate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is taking advantage of you. Either sit down and talk about it with her or sit down and tell her you're fed up. If her friendship is worth saving, you guys will work it out. If it isn't, then it'll be over and you'll know.
2006-07-09 22:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by tinydancer42001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had sort of the same problem...i'm 20
you kinda know deep down when its over or if there's still hope (haha sounds like you're dating...)
but no..seriously..
realize that you still love the person she 'used' to be. she's only being friends when its convenient for her. are you afraid if you ignore her, you'll lose her?
its tough..but you need to be the better person. love her..but love yourself too!
2006-07-09 22:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should try making out with her and see how it goes, you may hook up on a diffrent level. and if not your bf will love it
2006-07-09 22:04:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋