I have been married for over a year now. My husband has his cop friends telling me that he writes this woman from work. He is never late from work, he NEVER goes out, he is never gone long, etc... am I being over-bearing? Am I being insecure? He did cheat when we were engaged... and so I think I havent gotten over that. My biggest problem is that my GUT INSTINCTS say that he is cheating... not totally, but trying to cheat.
2006-07-09 13:03:52 · 22 answers · asked by JOAN L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need more information. Don't jump to conclusions.
2006-07-09 13:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by I Know Nuttin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Joan L,
You should ask him about the writing to this woman.Your insecurity and mistrust will devour you in time if you don't make some kind of move on this.If he is writing this woman and denies it mabey he will stop if he thinks you are on to him,perhaps it will all be over.If he is not writing anyone his answer will still be no and it will be the truth.This is where trust comes into play. The bottom line is if he is going to cheat there is probably nothing you can do about it.When and if he does you have to decide what you will do .
2006-07-09 13:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by moccian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to know, just ask him. He's your husband, and he made vows to you, and asking questions of that nature fall weel within the limits of those vows. And, better do it sooner rather than later, because the longer that you have to sit and stew about this, the more magnified it will be in your mind.
and when that happens, you'll no longer be able to just ask him about it, you'll use it as ammunition in an argument, or say something really mean or hurtful that you won't be able to take back. So, before you get yourself even more worked up about this, ask him.
And, I know that this is over stepping the bounds of the asker/answerer relationship, but, if he cheated on you before you got married, why'd you go through with it?
2006-07-09 13:12:44 · answer #3 · answered by Michael L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay girl just dumb him right there. He cheat on you while you were engage? There's plenty of fish in the sea why care. The truth is you should talk to him face to face. Tell him how you feel. Is that cop friend a guy or a woman? If he's a guy maybe he likes you. If a she maybe she's trying to make you jealous. "Believe when you see it"
2006-07-09 13:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first instincts are usually right. Something as simple as a letter can be very intimate, and if he cheated on you while you where engaged I have to ask why did you marry him anyway? 1 time is his fault 2 times is yours. We as women have got to put our foot down somewhere, have you done everything in your power to find the answer or are you just going to keep adding fuel to the fire? If you cannot truley trust him you are just waisting precious time, move on!!!!!!!
2006-07-09 13:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my gut has never given me the wrong answer, but you don't really have a lot to go on. So what would you do if he were cheating. Is there love and sex in your marriage. Does he give you attention and do things with you. Does he show you respect.
2006-07-09 13:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not ignore gut instinct.
If he cheated during engagement, the chances are great he is willing to cheat again ...just hasn't had the opportunity.
Do not ignore your gut instinct.
2006-07-09 13:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, a lesson to learn. ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER! If his friends are saying that he is writing this woman from work, get them to give you a copy of one of his letters for proof. Or maybe, your husband is just doing that to make you go overboard (nuts) so that you will get divorced. Men love to play games. Watch yourself!
2006-07-09 13:08:09 · answer #8 · answered by hot chocolate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater is what you have in your mind. you think he is cheating just because he cheated back in the day. if you think he is writing someone then find out for sure tellthose cop friends of his to get you proof of him writing to this girl.if they see it then they can get her name and or more stuff about her.if they told you about him writing to her then they might tell you more.find out first if he is witing her and then desdie you next step.good luck.
2006-07-09 13:19:54 · answer #9 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut! Once a cheater always a cheater! If you can't totally trust your husband then there is a big problem.
2006-07-09 13:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by Robyn K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably ask him, you will know from the expresion on his face and his eyes that he's lying.
however if he's never late etc etc he probably is just talking to a friend and his friends are over reacting also to this situation jumping into conclusions
2006-07-09 13:08:11 · answer #11 · answered by cecymg2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋