i was sexually abused as a child?

Question

When i was younger i was sexually abused by my father. Now I try to be in relationships and all i do is sleep with the guys. occasionally a few girls too...what can i do to get out of this lifestyle?

Answer 1

You have to use what happened to you to make you a stronger person. Don't let it take you over. I know that you can be a very strong individual. I'm sorry for what happened to you. Just trust in God and ask him the way and he will help you. Have patience and everything with work out just fine.

Answer 2

I'm gonna pray for you but in the mean time... there are many here in answers that it has happened to, that don't have the courage like you, remember that! and some out there have not lived through their experiences of abuse
as far as changing I say remove yourself from the catalyst of the activity ( the people ) then try re-enforce your change by surrounding yourself with things that will promote your changing lifestyle and your ideas by constant images of where you want to go and where you want to end up. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 3

I am fourteen and was sexually abused at the tender age of 7, since you were young to please visit my blog and tell others about it. www.hsawacblog.com

First thing yu need to do is know that what yur father did was not your fault, call 1-800-656-hope and tell them your situation they will not think you are stupid, they already get lots of calls on this situation. Ask them what youcan do to stop. Trust me they will help.

Answer 4

It can be quite difficult to re-energize that feeling of being acceptable... the guilts that are carried from such abuse are very difficult to erase from the subconscious level.. but, it can and is done with some ease... when there is the right incentive and teacher. Your present conduct is creating more guilts for you, or you wouldn't have presented them.

Answer 5

Iam Sorry You Need To See A Doctor.

Answer 6

u need 2 go 2 a counseler.
They can help u recover from ur past and start a new better life style.
Good Luck!!

Answer 7

I was also abused, by my mother's father. I had similar behavior to yours for a while as a younger woman. I changed but I also had years and years of therapy (I still see a psychologist), not just for the behavior but for the emotional patterns and processes that were behind the behaviors, driving them and reinforced by them. Therapy and counseling helps you find your own way to come to terms with the repercussions of what was done to you. Something like this that happens in your childhood (and can have gone on for a long time, esp. with incest) is part of your development (you hear that all you "get over it" people???). I don't think anyone has a right to expect you to just shut that part off because that there is not one single isolable part.

Therapy/counseling helps you to gain perspective on and insight into your own actions so you can start to understand what is driving them. What is it that you hope to find in or gain from these encounters? Why are you now feeling like you want to stop? I discovered I was trying to re-establish my right to my own body and sexuality, but I was doing it in a way that let people in who probably were completely undeserving of that kind of intimacy. You'll have your own reasons which you can figure out with someone who has been trained in the psychology of childhood sexual abuse and incest.

A couple of tips about the getting help thing - if someone (therapist, psychologist) or some situation (survivor group) really doesn't feel right or creeps you out after you've given it a fair shot, find someone else to go to for counseling. It might be hard to open with them if they freak you out/bother you.

If you're really having an exceptionally hard time, you can call a crisis line - just please be very very clear right up front that this was something that happened a long time ago and that you are calling today because you need help finding someone to talk to about how those experiences are making your feel now. I did this once when I was 28 for help dealing with the fall out of confronting my mother about her father's misdeeds. My mother told me I was "dead" to her for bringing it up and it sent me into a total hole. I was living in a new town with no health insurance and no idea what local free or low cost resources existed. I called the rape crisis center to see if they knew of anywhere I could go for help with something that had happened so long ago and they said "right here." The crisis center people were really and truly great.

I also want to share with you three things that I wish I had realized earlier in my life.
1. It wasn't your fault.
It wasn't until I was about 28 that the woman I saw at the crisis center told me "It wasn't your fault". You'd think I'd have heard that before then, huh? Nope.
2. People who pull the "get over it" lines out when they hear about your trauma either don't want to deal with your pain or don't want to deal with their own. Either way, that reaction is their problem, not yours.
3. Just because you want to share some of yourself (or ask for help with something) doesn't mean you have given everyone a free pass into your life, your psyche, your body. Your boundaries are yours to draw and defend and change if you feel they need changing.

Good luck, please try to get some professional counseling, try keeping a journal in the meantime or if you do keep one already, try reading back over it now and then to see if you can figure out what is driving this pattern, and remember the crisis centers are there if you need them for someone to talk to or for a referral to a less critical resource for adult survivors of childhood abuse.

Answer 8

You have to start respecting yourself and loving yourself. Most of all realize that he was sick and you had no choice in what he did. It wasn't your fault that you happened to have a sick and twised father. Thats how I got better. I was the same way until I realized that there was nothing wrong with me and I did nothing wrong.

Answer 9

Counseling.

Answer 10

Check to see if there is an incest survivor group in your area - i went to one ( it was a twelve step program); it did help to hear other people's stories, and how we all seemed to be going through the same dysfunctional (mis)steps in live.