Help with the introduction for an essay?

Question

The introduction read as follows:

This essay is dealing with an aspect of prison life. In this case the subject matter will focus on male prisioners who show signs of menital illness, specifically depression.

Can someone please re-word this so it sounds better

Answer 1

Adult male prisoners must contend with many aspects of incarceration. One particular aspect is how mental illness, particularly clinical depression, is dealt with by the inmates and by the prison system,

I hope this helps, I've been out of the essay writing business for a while, this may be too short for your needs.

Best of luck with your essay.

Answer 2

This essay is dealing with an aspect of prison life. In this case the subject matter will focus on male prisioners who show signs of menital illness, specifically depression.

This sounds fine.

Answer 3

You have taken too many words to say too little, I'm afraid. This does not even tell what your essay is going to be about or to "prove." Are you going to talk about depression as a result of imprisonment? Are you going to explore the symptoms during imprisonment? Are you going to compare it to other mental illnesses or to depression outside of prison? Are you going to explore it as a causal factor leading to crime/imprisonment?

You need to get more specific to even form a thesis. Once you have established your focus more narrowly, THEN you can make this introduction better. Do not use either of those sentences as they are vague at worst, redundant at best.

I hope this will give you a clearer idea of how to term your ideas for this essay or in the future. Good luck.

Answer 4

Just a couple of hints. Fist sentence should be something to intice the reader. Second there should be no mention of your essay in the sentence, the reader gets that they are reading an essay. Use mybe a stat. in here like exactly how many prisoners in the country there are and what percentage of those have depression. Good Luck sounds interesting

Answer 5

Mental illness is something that populations world-wide deal with on a daily basis. Included in these populations are those who may not be deemed the model citizens of society, prisoners. In this essay mental illness among male prisoners will be explored.

Answer 6

Prison life is rampant with mental illness, especially depression. This is an important aspect of life in a penetentary that prevents real reahbilitation. Especially in males.

Answer 7

right that's an theory: mixed-sexes in college reason a number of issues: jealousy, competition for interest, untimely sexual activities, having a pipe dream, distractions, splendor competitions, self-photo hangups, and (fill contained in the blanks), to call yet some. even although similar-sex colleges have some similar or opposite downfalls, the learning aspect executed by employing a similar-sex facility overcompensates those faults. i will tutor that the most concentration and, ergo, scholarly consequences executed at a similar-sex college are a lot larger than a common mixed college. With information taken from the nationwide Bereau of documents (or regardless of that is termed there) i will tutor, without a shadow of a doubt, that having an All-Boys or an All-females secondary college will very much develop the intelligence of our inhabitants. Then bypass on to discuss what number homosexuals are shaped at each and every one of those colleges compared to the supressed ones from mixed training....LOL hard case to argue!

Answer 8

Research shows that male prisoners show signs of depression as indicated by.....


And yes....depression, specifically major depression IS a mental illness.

Answer 9

Not to sound trite, but depression is not mental illness.