My wife has fallen out of love with me & is moving into her own apartment. She feels that if we are apart from each other that she will get that love back. She thinks that being apart from me will realize that she still loves me. We are hoping to try to rekindle what we once had by having date nights, spending nights at her new apartment watching movies or just holding each other, calling each other if one of us is lonely. I have expressed my love to her that i don't want her to go but i have hurt her badly. Does anyone feel that this can work..
2006-07-09 11:53:26 · 19 answers · asked by steven n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It may open up doors of independence for her. She wll recognize how you not being there like a test drive and then try to turn it around and come back but....unless there is physical or mental abuse and you need space it my be best. You need to work hard buddy! I mean wining-dining-leaving love notes and letters. Also, you need to show some confidence. COnfidence that no matter what she decides you will respect it-sorta oflike being in control when you are not-do not show too little control over your feelings and deperation. It sounds like a game to me and if you want to win, you need to be confident in who you are and yourself and also true and confident in showing her that you want her there but do not play the game of like begging and pleading just be classy about it all andshow some confidence and self respect for you. Also reassure her that you have changed by allow 30 days of what oyu did wrong not to happen again and see if she will come home. One thing your wife and you need to understand is, marraige is a covenent only broken by death, abuse, and infidelity and still there is hope if you completly kill the wrong. I recommend, the praying husband for you by stormie omartian and how to love a women there are many self help sources on how to romance a women..she will love you for it. Pray for a turn around in you and her.
2006-07-09 12:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Inspire 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to give it to you straight, having been through this situation myself a few years ago.
The anwer is......probably not. If it has come to the point that she is moving out and says she has already fallen out of love with you, chances are she's moving on. Don't hold your breath for those date nights you talked about, she'll probably be having them, but with someone else.
My advice, seek counseling to help you with closure, and then move on. You could waste years of your life waiting for her to 'fall in love with you' again.
Love is not a warm squishey feeling, it's a grown up decision two people make in deciding that first and foremost, the wedding vows must be kept (for better or for worse). And that no matter what happens you can and will work it out, even if this means seeking marriage counseling.
She has obviously already givin up on this. Don't waste your life, buddy. Move on.
2006-07-09 12:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by Rubberchicken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it can work. You have to go back to the days of courting and when you are back together keep it up. Relationships are 80%+ giving and less than 20% taking. If you give and invest in her life (emotionally, psychologically, and nuturingly) than a return is sure to develop. You don't say what you did to hurt her but she must regain her trust of you and while that may take time, it is certainly worth it. Good luck.
PS Prayer doesn't hurt. Neither does going to church together (and I mean a Bible believing, Bible preaching church with LIFE)
2006-07-09 12:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Steve..I read that at the end you have hurt her badly..Yes I would give her her space..not sure what you did but if you and she want to save this relationship then allow her to work through this..There is no immediate fix to this..if feeling have been hurt and trust broken then I think time is what you have. Give space and be genuine in how you feel..I wish you both the best..If it is worth working on then time will tell.
2006-07-09 12:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by FloNightingGale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone goes through this in marriage.
Wife needs to realiset his, and stop acting like you 2 are "single". You guys can still go out and date, while living under the same roof.
Couples fall out of the passionate love, but it gives way to a deeper, warm and strong love.
The challenge is pushing through this period, and making it through to the other side. I do not think moving out is the solution.
It is a normal phase that the both of you need to go through together.
What would help, instead of moving out, is focusing more on your own projects and ambitions.
2006-07-09 12:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes just give her the space she needs. absence has a way of making people for get the "bad" things. And one advantage is the "newness" its kinda like you guys are starting over. look at is a new adventure to share with your wife. if you love her that much and shes willing to try something like that, then itll be ok. Just remember that she needs to get her head straight, and you need to give her the time and space to do this. take it slow. and if she is just playin games then 2 bad 4 her...you sound like a decent man
2006-07-09 12:00:09 · answer #6 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you hurt her badly? It may be that what you have done can never be made up for...sometimes an apology is not enough especially if there is any thought in her mind that you don't really have any plan to be a better person in the future.
2006-07-09 11:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by krisjb1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to me back in2001 and when she moved out a week later she was seeing a guy that we knew and I interduced her 2. She told me the same thing your wife is telling you and then after I saw her with this guy a week later I found a love letter she had wrote to him. I left Virginia and moved back to Florida. Never looked back!!!
2006-07-09 12:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope it works out for you. My ex had that I like you but I don't love you talk. It's all a bunch of crap. She either loves you and wants to be with you or not. Moving out is not gonna help. My ex moved out and she hasn't been back. Good Luck.
2006-07-09 12:04:20 · answer #9 · answered by RussellMania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it can work. maybe your wife needs a little romance in her life. when was the last time you gave her flowers? I'm not saying to spend a small fortune on flowers, the weeds in my yard are just as pretty.
2006-07-09 11:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋