My mother just died and i dont feel bad....Should i?

Question

My mother died and i never mat her..she left me and my sister in a apartment when i was only 2 years old for 3 days..since then i have been living with my granny..i am 17 years old..i have never mat her and the only time i talked to her she said she was happy she left me (true story) she died in december..n me and my sister just found out 2 mouths ago

Answer 1

My feeling is that she has already made you feel bad enough all these years. I would not waste another minute worrying about not feeling anything for her death. You probably had to work to numb yourself all these years to her abandonment and carelessness with you and your sister.

However, I'm sure your granny is hurting, and for that you can feel bad. Try to understand that part of it.

Answer 2

Sweetie, it's ok not to feel bad about your mother dying. It's ok to feel bad about her leaving you and your sister with your Granny. As long as your Granny gave you and your sister love, and she raised you to be happy and find your own path, my mother was taken away from me when I was a baby, by the state because she was deaf. I got to meet her when I was 24, we had a decent relationship before she died, when she did I missed her, but I didn't feel sad, I know I will see her again in the ressurection, {she will be brought back to life} by God, so I needn't feel sad that she is sleeping in death. You may have some sad feelings later, you may not there's nothing wrong with you, your acting very normally to an abnormal event. Not everyone has had your experience, and you are responding to it very well

Answer 3

You can look at it from a very basic sense and assume that you should be sad. But it sounds like the only motherly thing she had done was give birth. It goes to really question what is a mother. Its how you see it, the literal and figurative. I personally dont feel like you should have to feel sad. It comes down to that fact that she was a person in the grand scheme of life that didnt have that much of an impact on you.

Answer 4

Yes, you feel sorry, she was your mother. The main reason you are feeling bad is that, whatever went on between the two of you, now you will never be able to correct it and achieve the mother daughter relations you wanted to have. Sad but true - so you are human.

Hopefully the relation that you wanted to have with your mother you will have in the future with a son or daughter. Keep dreaming - it will come true.

Keep Smilin'

Answer 5

How you feel is personal to your experience. I can not say I would feel bad if I were in your situation and I certainly do not judge you for not feeling bad. Unfortunately, your mother sounds like a woman who was self absorbed and should not have had children.

I wish you a happy and positive future. I hope that you have found the love you needed from your grandmother and if you have not I hope that does not prevent you from giving and receiving love now and in years to come.

Many blessings to you and your family.

Answer 6

It doesn't seem wrong at all to feel that way. There is nothing innately special about a biological connection if you haven't formed an emotional bond too. And since she's been absent for 15 years, its not weird at all that you don't feel especially heartbroken.

Answer 7

Nope she didn't play that big of a roll in your life growing yp. My father died (well step father) and could have cared less he raised me but was very abusive to me and sexually abused my sisiters so i thought good riddance and haven't fell bad about it at all. Though he did owe me money and I would like to have inherited his guns or harley but no biggy . He's gone and I don't care. and after what she did, you shouldn't either. Just get on with your life and be happy you have loving Grand parents who took care of you..

Answer 8

You have no emotional connection to the woman, so i wouldn't expect very much form you. Though I think maybe eventually you will feel a sadness. Not from missing her, but missing the mother you wish'd you would have had.

Answer 9

You may not today...that's ok. Your feelings might change in time. I am sorry all that happened to you.
But, don't let your past scar your future. You can do great things with a strong center.

Answer 10

It sounds pretty normal. She was a stranger. Why would you feel sad about a stranger dying? I do agree that you should support your grandmother though.