Gay marriage?

Question

I really don't understand why it's such a big problem. Sure, it's kind of weird to see two guys or two girls making out, really weird.

I'm passive, but as for having kids, don't you think that their adopted child will have a hard time fitting in in school? HOw do you think they'd feel? I mean, think about parent-teacher conference night!

I AM NOT prejudiced. Face it, how many tolerance presentations do schools have? Many kids are still made fun of because of their body and/or social standing.

Kudos to the people near the bottom.

I agree 99% with the religious-Christian arguement. A country cannot function is every religion has to be taken into consideration.

But then again...I'm Buddhist...but even then it doesn't interfere.

Answer 1

I know several homosexuals (gays and lesbians) and I have spent my winter reading And the Band Played On (which I highly recommend to everyone) and I have come to realize that homosexuals are the most civil minded, world conscious people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. This of course doesn't apply to all homosexuals, but it does apply to the majority (I hope you guys don't mind a positive stereotype) I am straight, happily married and wonder often if as a straight man I should have kids (I do, but I wonder sometimes) I think children growing up in same sex households will have a firmer grasp of concepts like love and responsibility. As for parent teacher night, both parents would probably be there, a rarity. The radical right is just afraid of gay liberals raising more liberal voters.

Answer 2

Here are my arguments against gay-marriage.

1) Just because the US is not a theocracy does not mean the religious arguments get automatically discounted. This country was based on Christian principles (a separate debate, but I would be happy to comment on it if you disagree), therefore is does not have to take a back seat to Islam, Wicca or what have you. Not only that, but the majority of Americans consider themselves Christian of one type or another.

True Christianity does not advocate acceptance, as you would define it. Though it is a little cliché, a common Christian saying explains it well. Jesus loves you enough to accept you the way you are, but loves you too much to let you stay that way. The Bible explicitly says that homosexuality is immoral. As a Christian, end of story. BTW, Christianity isn't the only religion that views homosexuality as being immoral.

2) Whether or not homosexuality is a choice is really irrelevant. If it is a choice, then they can choose to be heterosexual. If it's not, well aren't morals all about restraining one's natural urges in the first place? I may have the urge to lie, but that doesn't make it right.

3) America is a Republic - meaning the people govern though elected officials. Of all the states that have passed anti-gay marriage amendments or statues, you know what the average passing percent was? 70%! If that's not a majority, I'm not sure what is.

4) When a couple goes to a courthouse to receive a marriage license, they are essentially asking the government's, and by extension the American people's, permission to marry. Well I, and most American's don't give our permission. Whether or not it's immoral doesn't matter, we the people have the right to decide what is legal and illegal, and we do not want gay marriage to be legal.

5) An argument I've often heard for gay marriage is the "well, if they're not hurting anybody else and it makes them happy, there's nothing wrong with it." Unfortunately, this doesn't hold water. What if I decided that I wanted to marry my dog? It's not hurting anybody else and it makes me happy, so why not? What about crimes like drug abuse and prostitution? They aren't hurting anybody but the perpetrators and taking drugs makes a lot of people "happy," so why is it illegal?

6) Another argument often used is that gays "just want the same rights everyone else has (everyone else meaning heterosexuals)." When in fact, they already have the same rights. A woman has the right to marry a man whether she is straight of gay and visa versa. Two heterosexual women can't marry, so why should two lesbian women be able to? In reality they want special right. They want to be the exception to rule.

Answer 3

I see a severe problem with the United States and gay marriages. I support gay marriages. Really, I do. Having freedom of religion is great- it's way better then being forced into a religion like in Saudi Arabia. However, most of the United States is prejudiced.

However, what's the big deal? They're living their life in the way they want to. So what if you're a Christian? Leave people alone, and they won't bug you. People need to be more accepting of other people's views. Sure: you can hate homosexuals all you want, just don't try and outlaw it. There's nothing wrong with homosexuals trying to raise a kid either.

How many times do homosexuals raise tainted children? No more then straight couples, and if anything- it's less. Having a homosexual household makes acceptance a big deal. It makes the children more respectful of other people and their life choices- which, I might add, most Americans- nay, the world are lacking.

Answer 4

You have already made up your mind so why ask?

Marriage is supposed to be male /female. It started out as a religious ceremony. that is what it is supposed to be.

Does that mean that gays shouldn't be allowed to live together, to raise children, to live as a family? No.

I understand, it seems weird to you. It seems weird to me too. But we're assuming that this is a new thing. It's not. The only new thing here is the fact that gays are coming out and saying I want to have the same rights as married couples. That is new.

As for the kids, yes they will have a hard time at school and in church, and pretty much everywhere they go. That is because other people will prejudge them. That is nothing new.

What might be different is seeing men kiss or women kiss and thinking that this is an acceptable greeting with others. I don't imagine the kids walking in on their parents having sex. It can happen , but; that is what locks are there for to ensure your privacy.

As for the PTA, that has less to do with the school and more to do with the parents. Assuming they want to participate, that is something the other parents will have to learn to deal with. The school will only have problems if the parents have problems.

Like i said, I think marriage is Man/ Woman.

I just don't know that I might not be wrong.

Answer 5

While I am heterosexual, I support anything that gets homosexuality out of the closets and into the world where it can contribute to the huge diversity that this planet and universe offers.
I don't for one second believe that someone would make the "choice" to be gay if they have some idea of the prejudice they will currently face. Homosexuality is born in the person, and like blue eyes or white hair, it is something that we must accept from nature. (Many other species display homosexual behaviors)

I also have a theory that the most homophobic people in the world are those that have faced their own leanings in that direction and are fighting desperately against it for fear that it gets a hold on them. They are brought up in societies where being gay is so unacceptable, they have to fight desperately against their own frustration.

It seems to be a strategy adopted by many humans that they must have some group to which they can point and say or think that they are better than. It could be their wealth, education, skin color or sexual orientation or all of the above that they use as a dividing line between them and theirs.

Tolerance is something that must be taught, because intolerance (unlike gayness) is something that can be learned.

Answer 6

Same sex marriage isn't as much about "two guys making out" as it is about a legal, societal and religious bond between two people.

Legally I see no problem with it. In the eyes of the government/law marriage is a legal agreement by two people to maintain their lives together as a unit. It takes in financial matters including taxes, health insurance, pensions, joint ownership of property and rearing/providing for dependents. If we leave religion out of the mix (which I thought was what we supposed to do in the U.S.) this legal bond is something that could be achieved for those who want it.

Socially it would mean dealing with more gay parents at school events, adoptions of children by gay couples (which would also tie into the law/government), and all the things that couples do in society. This would take time and be difficult at times. You've said it yourself... you'd wonder how the children of gay parents would "fit in." There are examples already of children living in gay family settings who do no better or worse than their counterparts in single/partnered heterosexual families.

Religion would be another matter. Personally I think it would be wrong to try to force religious groups to accept gays/lesbian couples (e.g... passing laws requiring religious congregations to allow marriages of gay couples within their buildings). I believe that the separation of church and state in the U.S. should allow religion to support its own beliefs without interference from government. If religious groups change they need to change from the inside.

The three areas are not easily divided, especially in a country where government has allowed them to mix much too freely. But I'm guessing the day is coming when it will be so.

My best to you

Bill

Answer 7

I AM a gay, well lesbian, parent. And my child ISN"T adopted. He's perfectly happy and well adjusted.

It's people who make a big deal out of it that make it tough for kids.

My partner and I have raised my son together since he was eight years old. He's now eighteen and doing just fine. He was NEVER ridiculed or made fun of. He had no problem making or keeping friends.
He's one of those kinds of people who other kids really like to be around because he gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and doesn't hold grudges.

Why should kids have to be made fun of because their parents are the same gender? If they love their child, adopted or not, and are honest with their child and not try to make their child feel uncomfortable then the child won't.

Gay/Lesbian parents have been studied and found to be just as competent as parents as their straight counterparts.
They are no more likely to raise gay/lesbian kids as straight parents and no more likely to have ill-adjusted children...actually they're more likely to have more compassionate and forgiving kids.

Don't let your prejudices cloud the facts. We're people too, who love our kids and are very involved parents. We actually have a better track record of having longer lasting relationships than straights do.
Just look at the current divorce rates...over fifty percent, and those are ALL straight marriages...since we (gays and lesbians) can't legally marry in 49 out of 50 states...and even Vermont gay marriages don't transfer to any other state. That's just sad.
It puts our kids in a great deal of jeopardy.

What if one parent gets sick or dies? Who then raises the kids?
What if a home is only in one partner's name, but because they can't legally get married and the land owner partner dies...what happens to the rest of the family?

I'll tell you...there are 1349 legal rights and protections that are denied to same gender couples and their families because they are denied legal marriage.
That's just playing with fire where kids are involved!!!

Why do that to any family?

Answer 8

As far as "marriage" goes, I think adults should be able marry any other adult they see fit. As I recently heard a comedian say, "What makes gays so special? Let them marry; they should be as unhappy as everyone else."

As to the question of adopting, I don't think it is a good idea for societal reasons. I don't believe the gender of parents necessarily decides the sexual preference of the children, but there is no serious, unbiased research that does not confirm the need for male and female parental role models(as the best case scenario). As a public school teacher I see the effect, particularly of absent male parents all the time.

Answer 9

I agree with you, but then again the foster care system in the US is so f-ed up, that I kinda balance the lesser of 2 evils (be embarassed in school, or be in the foster care system) and I think it is better them to have a house with parents that love them, even if they are both the same gender.

PS: I feel so bad for you because you gonna get answers from the angry gays and the stupid rednecks religious zealots (see both below me).

1) Angry gays, face it, kids make fun of kids for anything.

2) Zealots, well, your points were so absurd, but oh well, if were are going for majority rules, we would still have slaves, Jews would have been completely exterminated in Europe, women wouldn't vote, interracial marriage wouldn't happen and divorce wouldn't either

Answer 10

Gay is gay , love is love. Marriage is commitment and love. Why the difference.

Society is gradually getting more welcome to lifestyle choices ( really not choices, they are born that way) and attracted to what they truly love in another human being. Regardless of the sex.