I have chosen death over all that is good.
Avoiding the bright light, the best that I could.
Darkness surrounds me, everywhere I may go.
I hide in your shadows, knealing down real low.
I am not God like, I'm not the gate keeper.
For it is only, I the Grim Reaper.
You cannot see me, though i am always here.
If youy see where I lurk, You'll tremble in fear.
Overwhelming with sadness and losing all control,
I tap you on the shoulder, and then you pay the toll.
Closing your eyes, you'll fall even deeper.
Fear when you see me, I the Grim Reaper.
I'm bound by chains of sorrow,
I'll be coming to get you by the ending of tomorrw.
Falling to your knees, I take your last breath.
I snatch up your soul, so there is nothing left.
Your lomp dead body, left by a creeper.
So hide if you see, I the Grim Reaper.
2006-07-09 10:59:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
"Dark" as it is, yes, I like your poem- scary enough as it is to say, I could almost "see" that grim reaper myself as I read what you have written. That's good imagery and I liked it. You also were able to successfully add emotion. That is a great combination, a powerful one. Good job!
2006-07-09 11:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
The meter is good for the most part, but the aabb rhyme scheme is a little cheesy. In some parts, your misuse of commas breaks up the rhythm, and the first person pronoun in the last line should be "me," not "I." Also, how does one hide from death?
2006-07-09 18:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by Buddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dark But Cool and creepy at the same time
2006-07-09 18:22:23 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It sounds like something out of a bad ghost story for kindergarteners.
2006-07-09 18:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bethany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is nice but you need to check your spelling if you are going to submit it somewhere
2006-07-09 18:04:17 · answer #5 · answered by proud of it 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not a fan, im getting an emo vibe
however its got good rhymes
2006-07-09 18:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Matt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ordinarily, I can't stand poetry... but this one is not too bad. Is it really an original?
2006-07-09 18:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by zzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda creepy and dark. But it flows well. I like it. Its sorta...I don't know, I just like it.
2006-07-09 18:03:33 · answer #8 · answered by leiar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats deep but corny
2006-07-09 18:03:09 · answer #9 · answered by Chocolate Lover♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice. kinda scary but its good very poetic.
2006-07-09 18:20:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋