what do u think of this?

Question

The beauty of realization

So easily do I slip through the cracks I once cemented together
I guess the mixture of an ego and myself wasn’t enough to hold the bond together
And how I stood there smiling, thinking that I would make it alone
Never did I once bother to think of You as I walked through this earth
I would succumb to all the devastation that is normal in an empty life
And how I would laugh, thinking that I was living righteous and just life
Truly sad it is, the day I went to my knees I forgot to ask for Your hand
Now I find myself stranded like a lost ant in the sand
But today will end differently, it won’t end with me walking alone
I ask You to come to my side Jesus, I can’t do this alone

God bless u all.

wow, lol, that's wierd three of the four ppl that answered are girls and they all have similar looking avatars.

Answer 1

It's so hard to judge poetry and say if it is good or bad. It kind of bothers me how you switched or mistakenly changed the tense with would. It would make more sense to me if you put those words in the past tense rather than put would __ (rather change to succumbed and laughed minus the would). I'm not sure if that's grammatically more correct or just personal preference though. It is a nice poem I think. You need to add an 'a' before righteous.

Answer 2

I love this prayer. Yes, God bless you, too. We all need the power of God to be able to survive and to go forward in life, as well!

Thank you, it was a nice read.

Answer 3

that was beautiful! i loved it!

Answer 4

love it!