A year ago we were close - she moved a few miles away eight months ago and never gave me the new address or phone number. Last month I took care of her kids while she was hospitalized and she said thank you but still did not give me her number. She needed money last week and I was hesitant in answering and she told me to shove it since she thought I was going to say no. Then she asked me to babysit next week - I think it's my turn to say shove it! Other aquaintances are now calling ME a bi*** because I've told them about this. Any honest opinions out there? Or at least one person to tell me I'm not the B! here!?
2006-07-09 10:08:58 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Get RID of her! She's a USER!
2006-07-09 10:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by ndtaya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are not the B.... let's just start by saying that!
If she was a valued friend and ya'll shared a friendship for a long period of time, I would doubt the friendship is completely over... There is a possibility, especially since she isn't staying in touch that she is going through some things, things she may not even know how to talk about, especially if you were close and she is ashamed...
friendships move in and out like waves... sometimes your best friend is your best friend and sometimes the wave goes out and she is further away... eventually the tide changes... that is if you were ever truly close friends.... look back on your relationship and determine if you were ALWAYS the one who contributed to it, sadly sometimes that is the case and if so, it may be time to move on, but it sounds as though you honestly care for her... maybe it's time to have a lunch with her and talk to her about things, let her know how she has hurt you and explain how you worry about her and that you are hoping to salvage this relationship... keep an open ear and hear everything she has to say to, listening carefully to what is said and what may not be said but that which doesn't make sense to her nature... Even if it is time to take a break from the friendship it doesn't mean that the friendship is over, unless you determine there is nothing left to salvage...
Hopefully in time your friend will see that she has been selfish and that you were always there for her, and in time the friendship will be repaired...
Sounds to me like you are a good and caring person and if this friendship IS in fact over... then you will take all of the happiness you once felt, all of the love... but will be happy to move on and will make other quality friendships...
One thing I always try to remind people about relationships, if they ever gave you a moment of happiness, if you can look back on something from the time spent with them and smile about something or even laugh, then they were worth knowing... even the most hurtful relationships should be viewed this way, so that you can remember that it wasn't a loss...
I hope this helps and that you can feel better about things soon...
2006-07-09 10:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by tink_n_fockers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she moved and did not give you her change of address and #v that should have been your first clue. When your efforts to continue a relationship always result in your time, expense and emotion being used but not reciprocated on a equal basis should be #2, the third one I am struggling with, Why are other acquaintances calling you a *****? If they are so eager tel them to babysit and fork over their cash, is there more to this than you've stated? If not then you are within your right to decline to be taken advantage of by anyone!
2006-07-09 10:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to a point I think you should get someone to take care of the kids and go somewhere and have lunch or something and tell he how you feel I mean it sound like you are always there for her but what would happen if you needed her you would not even know how to reach her tell her this and asked her for her contact information talk it out before you do anything rash though best of luck
2006-07-09 10:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by CeCi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real friendship is hard to find explan to her how you feel and if she dosen't understand you have done all you can Let her know you will help her as her friend but you would appreciate it is she would at least let you know that she appreciates it.Some people are users and don't have the ability to live their lifes on their own and need someone else to be their to take care of there needs when they can't
God told us to be neighbors and to love one another but he did not tell us to show someone the wrong way to have friendship. Keep praying for her and be there for her when it is important and let her know you will always care for her but she needs to stand on her own two feet and not depend on you.You have a life and family of your own and can not drop everything for her at her request.
2006-07-09 10:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by frogmatic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She considers you good enough to watch her kids and give her money, but not good enough to come over to visit or call? Does this sound like a friend? You were kind to watch her kids while she was sick. Now, I think it's time to just tell her , sorry, already have plans, can't possibly watch the kids.
2006-07-09 10:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't take the time to contact you out of her own will, then she's definitely not your friend. The fact that she only talks to you when she needs something done, is proof alone that she doesn't care for you. If you do something for her, then she should do something for you to. You are not a B****, but your "friend" is. she is very selfish, and doesn't care about your feelings, you should find another friend because this one is only in it for favors.
2006-07-09 10:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by luvcry247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WEll, sit he rdown and talk. It isnt right what she's doing and if she wants 2 borrow money she should at least be alto more freindly. Friends are there 2 help not 2 treat u like garbage.
2006-07-09 10:12:11 · answer #8 · answered by Eric G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but it sounds like this 'friend' is using you. I think it's time for you to stick up for yourself and say no. You could also tell her how you feel and tell her that the relationship has to work both ways, she has to be there for you as much as you are there for her. Honestly sounds like she's the B. Not you. Don't feel bad, but you have to do what feels right.
2006-07-09 10:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
does'nt sound like you are the one being a *****. sounds like she just wants to see how much she can get out of you. a true friend would not tell you to shove it just because you did'nt have money to lend them.a true friend would understand if you said you did'nt have the money.i would not watch her kids anymore. i would not have anything to do with her anymore.there are too many good people out there to be friends with. just forget her. she is not worth your time.
2006-07-09 10:14:57 · answer #10 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not the b****. if she is a true friend she would give it to you. The people that called u a ***** are wrong because she is the one who is being disrespectful and that isnt what a friend is. You cant let her take over your life. you have to stand up to her and say NO.
2006-07-09 10:13:08 · answer #11 · answered by LatinaChik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋