My wife left our home and marriage 4 months ago with our 7 month old son a month after she had a nervous breakdown and told me she leaving on the day she got her period(Valentines day).
At the time I was going through a career change from a job of working 7 days a week(75 hours) making 40K to a job making 90k and 40 hours a week. This is something that we agreed on. That I could take care of our son for awhile and focus on getting back to my old career.
It took me a month from when she left to get us in counselling. She would not agree to it. During our 2nd time in counseling she says she is seeing a lawyer and filing for a divorce.
She says we are getting a divorce because I was unemployed and that I wasn't cleaning the house.Yeah so we clean differently. I''m not as thorough at it as she is. I don't like to dust.
I was also doing all the cooking of dinner and preparing her breakfast and lunch for her the next day.
I don't get it. I don't know I did.
Can someone help?
2006-07-09 10:06:27 · 9 answers · asked by dean_moriarty00 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Can someone tell me what happened? I thought we had a good marriage. We just had a child last August.
Yeah we had small minor issues. Just like every other marraige.
I would listen if she would talk. It's always the same thing that she says and she has been saying it for 4 months going on 5.
I always try to have a conversation but 3-5 minutes into it she starts crying and runs away either into her car or hangs up the phone on me.
Is this or could it be post partum depression? She denies it is and just yells at me.
I would rather not get a divorce. I want to be a family.
2006-07-09 10:07:28 · update #1
There have been just to many life changing decisions on her part in only 4 1/2 months.
2006-07-09 10:10:29 · update #2
Her whole family sees me as a bad man and father because she was lying to them about me during the time. So I can not speak to them.
Her mother told me that I was going to bring my family to the welfare line.
She went to shrink. We went together and she lied the whole time.
2006-07-09 10:19:38 · update #3
I have asked her out dinners and breakfasts. But she never shows up or gives me some bad excuse.
2006-07-09 10:23:26 · update #4
You got hooked up with a phyco compulsive liar, she has mental problems really, honestly. You need to get your child,and a good lawyer, and take her *unt *ss to court, and get custody of your child, or your baby will be raised by this *itch and will turn out at least as messed up as her if not worse, and she sounds like she's one of those girls that gets the full child support payments and your kid wears Kmart clothes and she's got Gucci sunglasses. Get that baby in your possesion right now, do not think she's not going to play hardball because she will, trust me.
2006-07-09 12:11:53 · answer #1 · answered by Stir 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen,
Some people act differently when going through depression than others.
Are you certain this isn't just an excuse and you may have closed you eyes to problems you may have had in your marriage?
You say at 1 point you were working 75 hours a week,that seems alot of time to be away from your family,especially with a new baby.
I understand you may have felt you needed to work those hours to get the money coming in for your family,but,i must say,it seems alot to ask,especially with a new born to take care of.
Maybe your wife just got fed up waiting for you to spend some quality time as a family,your quality time if working 75 hours a week would not be much in quality.
I bet most of the time you were just shattered coming home from working those hours to a new family and a depressed wife.
What im getting at is
maybe you just expected your wife to just get on with it because you were bringing in the money,maybe you didnt listen enough because you were never there,maybe your wife has got post natal depression and needs proper medical help,or maybe your marriage wasnt what you thought it was.
You need to find out what went wrong and the only way to find that out is to probably do what you havent done in a long time,TALK.
If there is no way to save your marriage your main priority must be to your child,help raise him and make his life as healthy and as happy as it possibly can,he deserves that from both of you,not watching his mum and dad fight over silly things because neither of you can let go.
I really do hope everything works out for you,i hope you make sense of all this but most of all i hope your son gets the happy childhood and upbringing he deserves.
Good luck to you.
christy
2006-07-09 17:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she been seen by her doctor for PPD (Post partum Depression)? It sounds like she is having severe problems. Either that or she met someone else. If she had a nervous breakdown why would you let her take the baby. She could be a danger to the child. I would take her to court and ask that she be evaluated by a Pschyatrist, and ask that custody be reverted to you until she is deemed fit.
2006-07-09 17:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can convince her, or get a friend of hers or parents to get screened for post partum. It could be that, but it could be any other reason too. But, it definitely is deeper than you not cleaning the house to her specifications. I know I get mad at my boyfriend not washing the dishes, but it is usually because I am stressed about something else - possibly that I am not getting enough attention. The important thing is that you are trying to communicate.
Maybe take her out to a nice dinner?
2006-07-09 17:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Goddess B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Talk to her mother. Mothers are a huge influence is a woman's life. Ask her mother to talk to her about therapy and depression. If she's done this all at once, she could have been unhappy for awhile and some little thing was the last straw. You'll not get your family back if you both don't want it.
2006-07-09 17:13:42 · answer #5 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes probabally having some crisis, and pointing the finger at you. having a baby involves many hormones which can make someone think differently. i don't think you are innocent though, because a relationship takes two people to work. also, marrage IS work, and if you want to keep it, you should try to work at it. i suggest you give her some time to think about her life, and if she comes back to you, well- great!
2006-07-09 17:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by eromonhtiaf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you can sort this out. Sounds like severe depression and total meltdown. Best of luck xx
2006-07-09 17:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me it sounds like that she is going through PPD...either that or she was seeing another man and is giving yuo a REALLY BAD excuse to get a divorce
2006-07-09 18:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BRING HER TO FCUKING COURT.
I AM SURE YOU LOVE HER. GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-09 17:10:08 · answer #9 · answered by kjaymckinnon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋