should i stay with my x or go?

Question

i found out my wife was seeing this guy she meet online , she assured me nothing went on.wondering what the attraction was i went online and found a nice girl who i hit it off with was going to meet her when my ex says she still loves me and wants to make a fresh start of it all.....plz help

Answer 1

Kind of sounds like you wanted revenge. This has to come from your own 'HEART" -- do you love her or not??? Do you think you can never trust her again? Cheaters are not ALWAYS cheaters. That is the truth. If you love her, give her a chance because people do make mistakes.

Answer 2

If she's already your Ex, then I'd suggest you re-evaluate why she is your Ex. Was it only because of the online fling thing, or were there other underlying causes? If the latter, then go forward with the new relationship. Whatever made your ex your ex has probably not changed, and to go back would just be repeating the same mistake. Unless of course there are children involved, at which point you might consider their well being. But above all, you have to be comfortable in your own skin. Besides, if it turns out that your new online interest happens to be not what you had in mind, and your ex looks better on the backside, then you may still have that option if you choose it. All depends on your feelings, I guess. Hope this helps a little bit.

Answer 3

Try make a fresh go of things, marriage is a big thing. Need to understand why she felt the need to see someone else, what was wrong. I mean you only were going to see the girl cos you were hurt and felt that was the best way to end your pain. Try and make your marriage work before you leave. You are thinking about it, so it shows you still have feelings for your wife.

Answer 4

Isn't that always the way, people in general don't want someone until someone else wants it. I would say if you still love your x I would give it a try but let her know your trust must be earned. If after a time you just don't see that its not going to work, do what you do. I'm sure that girl or someone just like her will still be on line if you and your x don't make it. Happy Love

Answer 5

I say go and try your luck with this other person if you feel strongly enough to do so ...life's to short and It looks like your wife's cheated on you anyway or why would she even want to make a fresh start if she hadent?.....yeah sure she still loves you and wants to make a fresh start, cos she doesn't want to give up her security, familiar life or lose you to someone else ...but that's the chance she took...only you can decide whats best for you.

Answer 6

Now that you've both broken taboo, you two should decide why and if you both want to remain in the relationship. If the answer if a definite yes, then counseling definitely can help you to learn to communicate more effectively and share with each other the tings you couldn't before you began sharing these things with strangers.
If you both think forgiveness is a real option. If not, it's better to dissolve the relationship sooner than later and more feelings get hurt.
I wish you luck!

Answer 7

The person you met online exists mainly in your imagination. Your wife is the person you married. It's not good what she did, because even if she didn't cheat the temptation would be too high, but if she says she wants to make a start I hope you two can save your marriage. Why don't you go to a marriage counsellor.

Answer 8

there is something wrong in your relationship for either of you to be looking outside of it for the attention you need....talk honestly and openly with your wife and she with you to find out where it has been going wrong.

if you still love each other and trust each other it is worth another go....if however one of you doesnt feel the same way then it will be an uphill struggle.

at the end of the day the choice is with the 2 of you.....no one can tell you what to do.....

as for your friends on the net...sometimes talking to a stranger about your problems can be a big help as they can see things from a different perspective..

good luck with your choices and i hope it all works out for you,what ever you decide.

Answer 9

you should ask yourself that question, you know everyone is gonna tell you to leave her if she cheated......which is true for the most part, but are you sure she cheated? How long have you two been together? Do you think you will be able to trust her after what she did? Only you can answer those questions, if you don't think you can forgive her, then just let her go, but talk to her, don't step down to her level and do what she did because it can end up hurting you too.

Answer 10

Just keep moving on; if it didnt work first time, it wont work second; believe me, I just threw away 16 years of my life on a guy who kept telling my "It will be different this time" Stick with your "nice girl" and see how it goes. Let EX mean just that!