why are men so reluctant to pay child support?

Question

I am a parent who recieves child support and my sons father hates me for it. I always try to understand, even put myself in his shoes of what would I do if this happened to me? I would have no problem paying, as I already do. My ex only pays 79 dollars a week. He fails to regonize the late nights or early mornings I am up preparing for the next day, all the money I spend on our son child care, or helping him with his homework, drs appointments, dressing him etc...I work as a CNA and I get paid 15 dollars an hour to assist people in this manner, his 79 dollardoes nothing for me.When he has our son for the two weeks during the summer the roles get reversed and I always still call to check on him, send money, help out beyond 79 dollars. Why can't heor other men understand this. I am sick of men bitching about this.

Answer 1

Some men just want their money for themselves out of greed. They do not understand that kids cost money. He is just greedy and selfish.

Answer 2

That funny, my child's father is mad about the same thing. He says "No one should dictate to him what he should pay for his son and he doesn't understand why I have to get the court system involved" Well the problem was he never paid anything before I took him for child support. He told me "I'll do for him when I can." and I guess I am suppose to say Okay? "HELL NAW!" he brought up that fact that I make $19 an hour so what? I didn't make my son by myself and what if "I did only when I could do?" my son wouldn't have anything. It's so unfortunate, I think that they assume that "we" use the money on ourselves please.. the $79 dollars that he gives you doesn't go to far and my ex's $52 dollars a week doesn't go to far especially when my son is 5'5" wearing a size 10 men's shoe, eats like a horse and is only 10 years old. And he hasn't paid it since October anyway! Girl I know how you feel!!

Answer 3

This is not in response to the ones that may have there minds in the right place but not only do they think it doesnt go to the children ,they dont realize the overall cost .Since you may pay rent or mortgage shouldn't that be shared by both parents 1/2 .Food ,clothing,learning materials (in or out of school)
pampers, health care .So if you add all that up you couldn't live on the street with 79 dollars a week.

Answer 4

This question is for men who are irresponsible. Irresponsible people wo/men do not like to be told. Much less paying child support. Try putting his behavior aside and focus on your child. As a mother, you know what the responsibilities are and how demanding things can get at times. As a father, he sees things differently especially if you are making your own money. Take whatever you are supposed to get and stay away from the confrontation. Also, not all men are the same. Good ones are out there and they speak positively about their children whether or not they are in their child's mother's life. Pray, one might come your way but you have to fit the criteria of a good woman.

Answer 5

let me start by saying I am a man. I payed child support for years on time, and every time. I latter found out that most of the money was not spent on the children. food was not even in the house most of the time. I had no way of knowing what the money was spent on and it made it difficult for me to justify my sending the support. Maybe if we had a way of verifying where the money goes, men would pay more. Also, men most of the time cannot deduct child support from taxes. Just some ideas. Lets tak a look at the system. an, men take a look at your self. most women Realy need the suport you send each month.

Answer 6

why do you have custody? If you are so mad or upset with the babies father give him custody and you pay child support.live you life and go back to school get a better job stop complaining about why men get mad for paying.all you women out thier drive men nuts . We cannot live with you or without you.
Do not even call write letters to your kid. I have alot to say about this issue because if i had it different 21 years ago I would have hired a lawyer to take my son and leave,but i was a better man. I stayed with the mother married her and 2 more kids.I sometimes regret but hey.My kids are not bastards.
Want to hear more from me e mail or e mail and get my phone number.
oh and by the way I am 38 do the math.
It takes 2 .
Some advice to all you women out thier. Do not give in to the pressures of a man wanting to have sex. stay pure for the right man. Hell use your hand. Tell him to wait . I say this because a male wants one thing.Because thats all I wanted is sex.
so you young ladies and even older use your head.Sorry guys I have a daughter now and I tell her everything about us perverted men. you know who I am talking about.
you know I still want sex. Even as i am married I do all I can just to get it.

Answer 7

I had to call my lawyer when my ex started to tell our son that the money he sent for child support was for food and clothes ONLY! He seemed to feel that HIS money was being spent on cars (my new husband and I had traded cars, payments both went down, none of his business anyway) and the two children that my new husband and I had together. I found out from my lawyer just what I suspected. It is not just for food or clothes for the child, it is to provide housing, electicity, water, transportation, all the different things that the child needs to survive. I knew a man that did not want to pay child support because he felt that his ex would be living in a house anyway, and buying groceries anyway so why should he have to contribute. For some men, child support is the only thing they feel they have control over in their relationships with their children's mother. My ex said that loud and clear one day when he said, "I am just coming to terms with the fact that I don't control you guys anymore." Like he ever did!

Answer 8

first of all, not ALL men are reluctant to pay - my husband pays gladly - the only thing he isn't glad about is that he pays and yet his ex doesn't allow any contact - phone, email etc - oh she says she does - but then the phone is busy ALL DAY and EVENING on birthdays, holidays, and email is typically "deleted without being read" -- and yet our children are told that "they don't care - see they didn't call on your birthday or send a card" even tho we do/did and got a busy tone for HOURS and the card "disappears" so there is two sides. Please allow him to have a relationship with his son no matter what your thoughts are of him (unless he is dangerous in any way) because (1) your son deserves it and (2) even if he complains about the money, he does pay.

Answer 9

Because they are selfish pieces of sh!t.

Best thing to is make a list of all of the items that your child need, school clothes, supplies all of the things that they need. Give the list to the idiot and if you have to, take it to court and let the judge know that you have made it clear to the idiot of what you child needs-if the idiot can't purchase things on the list then the judge will deal with him. Granted this won't make up for you love and care for you child, you do that because you a noble human being that understands your responsibility. But in the long run, you child will know to what an idiot the father is-you won't even have to say one negative thing about him. Kids are smarter than you think. Just keep doing the right thing for your child-that is all you can do. It will pay off, trust me. Pieces of **** only clean up when they are forced, so you will see.

Answer 10

Men or women that don't care for their children financial, physical and emotionally are simply irresponsible and selfish. They don't get it because they don't have to do the work that is involved in raising children but they lose out on the reward. Many men take care of their kids and do it without requiring a pat on the back or gripping to others but those who do little or nothing complain that they are being railroaded for 20% of their pay. If you hired a nanny and a live in maid you wouldn't get off that easy. What the heck is that about? I don't entertain this foolishness for one second. You keep doing what you're doing. Your Ex doesn't get it now but he will eventually- possibly.

Answer 11

alot of times men are forced to pay a rediculous amount and drive old cars while their ex is living in style and none of the money goes to the kids. this happens more than you think. if they get a raise, the support goes up. if they get a bonus, the ex gets some of it. forget about an income tax refund, they dont get that either, but along with the support they are expected to pay for school clothes and supplies, lessons on anything, car repairs, and the list goes on. thats why.