should i leave her should i beat the crap out of him (i know who he is) or do nothing to keep the house and family(3kids) intact?
2006-07-09 09:33:55 · 35 answers · asked by tim321 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep the house intact and beat the hell out of him.
2006-07-09 09:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Eternity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. Don't beat the crap out of the other guy. Forget about her paycheck. Sell the house. Get a smaller place and work out the custody arrangements. Forget about "staying together for the sake of the children". That's just a load of s***! And it's just an excuse that someone came up with to keep people in lousy marriages. And it's the same excuse that cheating spouses use on the people they are having affairs with. Kids can see what's going on. They AREN'T stupid! MOST kids in this country grow up with divorced parents and they ALL survive it! Divorce is a painful fact of life and you cannot protect your children from everything. They better start learning from the beginning that life is full of disappointments.
2006-07-09 09:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by ami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. Get a job, or a better paying one, and get the heck out. Share custody, and pay child support(or see if you can get support from her) and get the heck out. go to a relatives house, or a friend's house, get a good lawyer and get your own place.
I don't think those are the kinds of morals you want to teach your children. And I believe you'd have a good case in court to keep the kids because she is not acting in the children's best interests by sleeping around with some guy that isn't her husband.
And don't bother beating the crap out of him, he isnt worth you serving time in jail for assault. You will do no service to your kids locked up behind bars. Take a deep breath, and assess the situation. You KNOW what you need to do now do it!
LEAVE HER!(and take the kids while you are at it)
2006-07-09 10:23:13 · answer #3 · answered by Fiona70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look inside yourself for the answer to that one. I can tell you that beating the crap out of him is definitely not the right choice, no matter how angry and hurt you are. Were you to do that, you would be giving him the power and putting him in control of the situation, when in reality, you should be the one taking control. Also, he's not worth serving any jail time over.
One thing I will say is that you should NOT stay together for "the sake of the children". My parents divorced when I was young and I am so grateful they did. They were both unhappy and that would only have gotten worse over time, thus affecting our lives even greater.
Some things you may want to consider: Are you willing to work things out? Is she? Could you get to the point where you would be able to trust her again? If you were to leave her, what could you do to make things work for you and your children (housing, food, etc.)? Is it worth staying in that relationship for financial reasons? I am willing to bet your personal happiness is worth more than any paycheck she could get and if you're truly at the point where the two of you cannot go on together, then by staying with her, you'd simply be selling your happiness for her salary.
If you do want out, have some faith that you can make it on your own and that thousands of people do it on a daily basis. It's not easy at first to make such a big leap, especially when you have a family to consider, but it is possible. Reach out to friends, family, your church, etc., for ideas and support (not just financial). Ultimately, it will most likely come down to you removing all external factors (finances, children, etc.) and making the decision as to what you want to do. Then, after you've made your decision, start pulling back in the external factors to see how you can cope with each of them in the best possible way. Either way you decide, you must be willing to live with the consequences. Best of luck to you!
2006-07-09 09:43:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can work out your problems, if not then you should just tell her if she's going to be with the boyfriend then she have to pay her half since she's the one who messed up the marriage, that's how it will end up in court. If she doesn't agree to it then leave her with the house and go find you another home to stay at, I guarantee she would be some sorry she left you. Show her you don't need her. But also pray about it and GOOD LUCK
2006-07-09 09:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by msknowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard as hell to take a woman "to the cleaners", believe me. The best you can do is try to get her to leave and get support. OK ladies, isn't it time we men get equality, too. Remember? Equal rights? Well life is still too pitched to one side. Equality is really a pendulum. I make good money, my wife makes more, she wanted the big house. Takes two to keep it. She has lost respect for you so you need to earn it back. One way is getting a pitt bull for a lawyer and being in her face every chance you get. At the worst you will get a measure of sweet revenge. Sometimes a Pyrrhic victory is still a victory.
I feel your pain, brother.
2006-07-09 10:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by PartyTime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have depended on your wife's paycheck to pay for the house. A man puts a roof over a woman's head and she is probably feeling that she is forced to work. Ask her if she wants to leave and, if so, apologize to her for not taking care of her and promise to arrange things so that you and only you are paying for the house. If you make a woman work...... she will not love you.
2006-07-09 09:38:12 · answer #7 · answered by ofthehighest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were my husband, this is what he'd do..consult a lawyer for full custody of the children, file for divorce (she IS cheating) and sue the pants off her for child support. You aren't doing yourself, your marriage or your children any good by staying there. Wait till your kids find out what's going on..and they will if they don't suspect something already, they'll be devastated about their Mother. A marriage shouldn't be "Boring", but the couple should love honor and cherish each other and be faithful. If you can't do any of these, you don't have one, and to me, it sounds like she's wanting a way out.
2006-07-09 09:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by Misty B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce, put the house up for sale. If she leaves you for him, make sure you continue to keep track of what you pay on the mortgage. Technically, she is still responsible for part of the bills. If she leaves, she is also required to pay child support. Talk to a lawyer about getting temporary supprt. If she won't leave, do NOT leave your house. If she does not want a divorce, seek counseling.
2006-07-09 09:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by englishteacher83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can deal with her having an affair , stay ... but don't expect her to stop now, she will only do that when she gets ready. NO don't beat the crap out of him and have your children know you are in jail!!! I would shake his hand, sounds to me like he done you a favor, you deserve someone that can love you and be faithful. just search deep within your heart and you will find your answer... Good luck
2006-07-09 09:38:04 · answer #10 · answered by answerqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋