I am currently in a commom-law relationship with a new baby. We also own a house together and yes we file our taxes together as well. We have been together for 5 years now and he still hasn't asked me to marry him. I am getting worried because i do believe that marriage is the ultimate showing of commitment. He never told me he didn't want to get married, his excuse is finances. This causes me to question his thoughts and feelings of our relationship. i have thought he was going to propose because i have seen the number to the jewelery store on our caller ID but i am dissapointed every special occasion, holiday or event when it doesn't happen.
2006-07-09 08:52:10 · 7 answers · asked by jay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know him better than anyone else, is he a good guy? No, really. Has he ever cheated, lied continuously for stupid reasons over and over? Does he hide things from you? Because it down right could be finances, having a baby and house together can be expensive these days. But if you have a feeling it is Never going to happen it might be time to jump ship and work on yourself and realize you might have to be independent some day and on your own. Most likely he will sense that your more distant and more on an "I" level not an "us" level and it will either scare him or bring on the inevitable. I think guys do get comfortable with relationships and Jobs and they are better at looking at the long run, and soon your living in the long run. But we like to focus on the now and he might just need a little encouragement that will hopefully put him on the same page as you, because sometimes as hard as it is NOT to say anything when he asks " what's wrong?" you have to use the silent treatment to encourage him to communicate with you. without feeling attacked and cornered. Some people may disagree but, he may be truly stressed about money and he might think you want to get married just because its the right thing to do, you need to show him that its because you Want to show all your family and friends publicly that you LOVE your man!!, and are going to give yourself to him through marriage.
2006-07-09 09:27:37 · answer #1 · answered by superdiana4000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters sweetie, you are in a live in relationship. As my mother would say, 'Playing married'. I can say this because I have been where you are and I just got out.
I know it feels safe there and your child has his/her father present in his/her life. But what about you? If he dies today or tomorrow (God forbid) you will be left high and dry. Your child will receive benefits but you won't. You will have a loss of half of your income.
If he is worried about the cost of a wedding,, let's be realistic, you have already been living together for 5 years. What could you possibly need?
You don't need a ring either. What you need is legal security and piece of mind.
Go to City Hall and get it over with.
2006-07-09 17:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lucky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is not just a piece of paper because a marriage is about love and understanding if you have a house and a baby then yes he needs to marry you because the common law does not protect for everything a marriage is not about the wedding that is what people get wrong you marry a person because you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them not for all the money you can spend on a wedding, but you can do this sit down and talk to him and see what he really wants and if marriage is not it then you should leave because he does not plan on being with you for the rest of our life or his
2006-07-09 16:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by sassyladytee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've gone this far with him without requiring the promise of a marriage certificate of him, why the sudden need to change the rules now?
If he's still good to you, what are you doing? Perhaps you are disenchanted with him and are looking for an 'out'?
2006-07-09 16:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by mb5_ca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to examine your need for a piece of paper rather than the obvious day to day commitment he has given to you. buy urself a piece of jewelery'/ snap out of your selfishness / grow up . and apologize to him for your antics for the past five years/
2006-07-09 16:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by bl0ndandblu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is only a piece of paper dont worry about it
2006-07-09 16:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by beer_pharts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not good enough yet probably will never be with him...move on
2006-07-16 12:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋