Common Law vs Marriage?

Question

Two people own a home together, are raising children together, file taxes together, etc. and live in an area that common law is recognized...so why are they constantly questioned about why they don't want to get married? Is marriage the ultimate showing of commitment? Both have been married before to very cruel spouses and they are happy in their current relationship...why fix what isn't broken. My question is this...which is better to YOU, marriage or common law? My parents were common law and I have never viewed it as a lack of commitment, but am curoius what others think.

Answer 1

I believe that it is just a societal thihng. Marriages used to be a business arrangement-the Western world has turned it into this big "love and commitment" necessity.

I believe if a couple is committed to each other, a piece of paper will not change that. I know many people who are married that don't have a level of committment to their spouse, nor do they respect the "institution" of marriage.

The biggest reason for marriage, IMHO, especially when children are involved, is the legalities-insurance, survivors rights, etc... Again, though, these are merely laws and don't necessarily reflect anything about a couple's situation.

I was perfectly happy living with my ex for 8 yrs. It wasn't until we got married that things got really bad, and we ended up divorced.

Answer 2

My question to you would be why NOT get married. If two people love each other and want a lifetime commitment then marriage is the final step to this. A piece of paper can not harm a relationship nor help it but it is a way of saying before God and community that this is your partner and you want to make a lifetime commitment to each other. I know just living together is a very common practice, no pun intended, but I for one feel a lot more secure and proud every time we celebrate our anniversaries. Knowing that if something should ever happen to my husband I would be taken care of in my old age and that I would have a say in how he is treated if he should fall ill or infirmed. My husband was badly burned before we were married and it was very hard for me to see him at first and I had nothing to say about his care since I wasn’t his legal wife. I wasn’t shown the respect that a marriage license would have given me. I also think that when people are married they are more willing to work out problems then if they are just living together and can so easily walk out on a relationship. So again I ask you, why not get married?

Answer 3

Ah, you are a bit confused. Being married is a legal relationship between two people as recognized by the state (ignoring the religious ramifications, here). You can be married by saying "I do" in front of a preacher or justice of the peace and getting your certificate of marriage. Some jurisdictions also allow another method for becoming married -> that is called a common law marriage. No ceremony is needed, just comply with whatever terms the jurisdiction sets out. In either case, you are indeed married and there is no difference between the two from a legal standpoint.

Your statement that you file taxes together is a dead giveaway, though. The feds only allow joint returns for people who are married (either via a ceremony or common law). Thus, when people ask you if you are married or when you are getting married, you are already married. Pick a particular date in the past and move along.

Answer 4

Well, depending on how they filed their taxes, and depending on the requirements of their jurisdiction, they may be "common law married". A common law marriage is a marriage which takes place without a marriage license being issued.

Normally, it only comes into play when there is a death of one of the spouses without a will. Then, if there is a substantial estate, the remaining spouse may very well feel they are entitled to a portion of the estate.

In states where common law marriage is considered valid, the surviving spouse, if he/she can prove a common law marriage, may take under the laws of intestacy. In states where there is no common law marriage, they generally may not. For a partner to take in such cases, there would have to be a will.

Common law marriage can also come into play when dealing with issues of children or property at the break up of a relationship. While it does not take any legal action or involvement to form a common law marriage.. except to satisfy whatever the state's definition of it may be, there is no such thing as a common law divorce. Divorce always requires action by a court.

Answer 5

I think that most people chose common law. It is getting to be that common law is the same as a legal marriage but with paying for the wedding and for the divorce. Most people can just walk away from a common law were as a legal marriage you can't. Then there are those that have been together for so long that they figure why bother. I am legally married and that is the way I wanted it. I didn't get married to get a divorce and I made sure that he was the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I also knew that he was the man that I wanted to go threw good and bad with. I wanted everyone and the law to know that I was his wife and he was husband.

Answer 6

Because you are plyaing house, and doing everything that married people do except making it leagal. Well I have been there and done that, and the one that is better to me is Marriage. When I met my husband, he was married, but he and his wife were having major problems. We lived together for five years, (while he was still married). Then when his divorce was final, we got married and are still married today, in fact, we just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary this past friday.

Marriage is a commitment--actually it is a promise/covennant before GOD between husband and wife. It is ordained by God. Why fix what isn't broken? It seems, that you both have some emotional baggage from your previos marriages that are keeping you both from actually taking the next step. You both need to forgive your EX's and let the Lord heal your hearts so you both will be able to love whole heartedly

Answer 7

I am currently in a commom-law relationship with a new baby. We also own a house together and yes we file our taxes together as well. We have been together for 5 years now and he still hasn't asked me to marry him. I am getting worried because i do believe that marriage is the ultimate showing of commitment. He never told me he didn't want to get married, his excuse is finances. This causes me to question his thoughts and feelings of our relationship. i have thought he was going to propose because i have seen the number to the jewelery store on our caller ID but i am dissapointed every special occasion, holiday or event when it doesn't happen.

Answer 8

i think common law marriage is a cheap way of showing affection,if you live with anyone for 6 months or more you are married, it sucks, but if you really love this person and want to shout it to the world, then you will show her she is worth it by marrying her or him.a marriage ceremony is the ultimate way to show you will be with this person thru rich or poor, for better or worse, and what are the rules to live by for a common law marriage, oh yeah NONE!!so you see it is not woth having a common law marriage, you dont have a ny security, you have no commitment, you may have a house together a car but you dont have the commitment.

Answer 9

I think people are a product of their environment. I come from married parents therefore I see marriage as the utmost committment.

For example, people who have children out of wedlock seem to think this is ok as well. And their children tend to repeat the pattern. It was grilled into me and my siblings that having children out of wedlock was unacceptable.

Two adults deciding to do what they want with their lives is ok. However, when children come into the mix, I think the entire dynamics change and one should put their child/children needs first not themselves. Common law marriage may be ok for the parents, but if a child was asked, I'm almost 100% positive they would perfer their parents to be married.

JMO

Answer 10

I'm in a common law relationship (20 years). I want to get married and he doesn't. The fact that he does not doesn't make me believe that he is any less committed. He believes that people change after they become married. I figure after 20 years, what will change.