Why do women say they want a good listener, and then complain when men don't say much?

Question

"Are you listening to me?"

But when we interject our minimal remarks, women get frustrated because "I just want you to listen".

Answer 1

because women are nuts.

i catch myself doing the same thing, so my husband and i have an understanding between us.

dont interupt and say whatever is on your mind. we both listen well and talk well with each other.

some women just try tooo hard to be the dominate partner.

they are all crazy....i can be, but im in love, so there is no way i could treat my husband like that

Answer 2

Because it doesn't feel like someone's been listening when they just sit there and don't have anything to say in response. If that's the kind of listener we wanted, we would just talk to a brick wall!

When we say "I just want you to listen", that is in response to when the man listens and then starts spouting advice and "here's how you fix that..." crap. THAT is not what we want.

Good listeners offer support ("Oooohh, that had to hurt", "Good for you!", "You're right, he was being a total jerk.") and understanding ("Oh man! That would have pissed me off too!", "So how did your boss expect you to do those five things at once? Which did you do first, how did you handle it?").

See the difference? When men listen, often they try to "fix" our problems, thinking that's what we want. But we don't. We want someone to share the experience that we are wanting to talk about.

Welcome to "What do women want, 101." Hope you learned something, the final exam will be next week. :-)

Answer 3

Being a good listener means to really listen. You have to understand what the other person is saying, and be supportive. If you're just pretending to listen then it's not true listening, and if after listening you try to solve the problems for her then you weren't listening either. The best thing to do is to just listen, and say, "I understand."

Answer 4

Because you should know WHEN is the time you shall interject and WHEN you shall not.When she is talking, for sure u shouldnt add in but when she suddenly silent, you shall interject in this time.Sometime when they said wanted u to listen it doesnt mean that they really want u to listen only...so, u shall become very alert when she is talking and you can get some clue to know when is the time to interject ;)

Answer 5

It's true that women want a good listener but they also want a guy who will respond to what they are telling them! And sometimes when you tell a guy something and he doesn't say anything it can be sort of intimidating! In our minds we're saying oh no he thinks I'm an idiot or something like that!

Answer 6

We want you to listen really well whenever we are talking, and contribute to the conversation when were not.

I read in a magazine one time:

Son, I when you grow up I will teach you the secret to women. Hopefully I will have it figured out by then!

Answer 7

If they want a good listener, and he's listening, why would she complain? What's up with that?

Answer 8

What? were you asserting some thing? Sorry, I wasn't paying interest. i changed into gazing paint dry. women human beings ought to insert some elect words even as chatting with direct the adult men interest to her. placing "and my boobs..." or "my tight butt..." or "team X is doing properly in the playoffs..." or "Beer"

Answer 9

i dont want a good listener im not even a good listener my self

Answer 10

because sometimes men just give us this glazed over look where we're not even sure they're alive, much less listening. lol. and we're weird. women are just...weird. lol.