my husband went out for a drink with the lads at 6pm last night and walked back in the house at 1o am this morning as if nothing was wrong ,I had a good few things to say to him and said that a phone call would of been nice our anything just to let me now that he was ok , he just turned round and said that i was over reacting and its not like he spent the night with another woman ,he just fell asleep on his friends sofa , weve a 2 yr old son and im 5 months preganant with twins. id just like to now how many other would react if that was ther husband or wife .
2006-07-09 07:27:37 · 25 answers · asked by fafandloo 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just to clear it up i did ring him at half five this morning and it just rang out and it was 10 o clock this morning he came home at not 1
2006-07-09 08:27:55 · update #1
I put up with my x boyfriend doing the exact same thing to me except he`d go to work on a friday morning and i`d sometimes not see him till sunday night!He left me and our 3 year old son only 2 weeks ago and i do still feel a bit heartbroken but i know deep down i deserve better so will get over it,anyway i totally understand where your coming from but i personally dont think your husband was with another woman but you know him best and just watch to see if it happens again,you know what men are like one drink leads to ten and before they know it they realise it`s the next afternoon.You have every right to be angry though and let him know how your feeling and make him promise that he will never do it again.
2006-07-13 12:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by onlyme 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
From 6pm till 10am I would have been thinking all kinds of things - what if he's been beaten up? What if he's been hit by a car? What if he got really drunk and lost his friends and cant get home? What if he's been arrested?
Your husband did a very very selfish act, where ever he ended up. Although you're only 5 months, something could have happened to you and then what would you have done - let him know when it was all over?
As your husband, he's meant to be your best friend and my best friend wouldnt ignore my phone calls without being ignored for at least a week.
If I were you, I wouldnt do any of the housework, inclding cooking his dinner and if he complains say 'Well, I didnt know if you were going to be home or not, so I only cooked for me.'
He needs to apologise. Then when he has apologised, you and he need to go to dinner round his 'so-called' friends house to see if his story fits with your husbands.
He's an adult, responsible for a two year old son and another child on the way. Not a teenager with zero resonsibilities.
2006-07-09 15:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Top. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just men. My wife used to stay out until 2 or 4 in the morning about 4 times a week. I was left to look after our infant son and also work while she slept during the day (our maid and naany did the house work and looked after our son during the day). This went of for several months.
I'd had enough of it and despite my trying to discuss the matter she only got aggressive. I'd thought that we had reached an agreement but that only lasted a few days. One Saturday morning at about 7:30 while I was walking the dog and carrying my son at the same time I had to call her to come home - apparently she had fallen asleep; god knows where.
We ended up separated for a while and I was preparing for divorce proceedings. Eventually she saw the error of her ways and things are much better now.
I think if his behaviour persists then you either put up with it or try to discuss it and work through it maybe with counselling. If that doesn't work then you may need to consider more drastic steps.
2006-07-11 03:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by ricodog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, I would be really unhappy. I have things similar to this happening all the time (in my case, it is not the amount of hours spent outside home in one go, it is the frequency of late evenings in the office or ending up in the pub, up to midnight etc, no single info to me as to when he might be home).
Now, in terms of how to react, it is of course extremely difficult to remain calm (his attitude is sending so many messages you do not want to hear).
Well, either he truly thinks you are overreacting, does not feel bad about what he did because he does not MEAN it against you. In which case, you want to try to explain how you take this and get some sort of commitment that he would next time at least call etc.
Or he is just playing a game with you and does know exactly what he did and is a good actor etc.
You know him, so might know which category he falls into.
My husband still does not understand why I would like to know when he may come home. His efforts to keep me informed never last more than a week or two.
Each couple has to work this for itself, what each partner finds acceptable or not. Things like this just fall into a bigger picture.
Good luck to sort this one out. My advice is: men operate very differently to women. Do not expect him to be "in your shoes", because he cannot.
2006-07-09 16:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he walked in this morning as if nothing was wrong??
Sorry- he's as guilty as hell. If he HAD crashed out on a friends sofa then he would have come in with the reason and an apology. And if he decides to wash his own clothes, divorce him! And why did he not hear the phone?? Because he didnt trust that there would be no background sounds when he answered.
He is either guilty as hell or callous and unfeeling towards you- which is the better option?
2006-07-10 06:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by fiona s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this excuse really stinks. If it was as innocent as that, why didnt his mate ring you if your husband was too pissed to call. He is a married man now, not a spotty teenager, and if he thinks this is OK behaviour whats in going to be like when you have three kids!!! You dont think he will do it again????? Threaten to leave him and see what he says; if he gives you "Youve got no-where else to go", then thats how little he thinks of you. Dont tolerate being treated like his babystiier, washerwoman, cleaner, cook and quick screw; youre worth more, and you sure as hell dont need a man who stays out all night. What would he have said if you did it!!! Good luck hun- hes an arsehole.
2006-07-10 10:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by k0005kat@btinternet.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, id be mad too. However, he really could have just fallen asleep on his friends couch. In saying that, he should still be more considerate and try harder to keep in touch, and not drink so much that he can't come home at night. You never know when an emergency can happen.
2006-07-09 14:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by redtoolips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will say "well you could have rung him", but then if you did ring him he might have turned round and said "what you ringing me for, dont you trust me". So at the end of the day it is best to let him ring and if he does not just tell him you were worried and thought something had happened and next time could he just ring to say he is ok.
Good luck!
2006-07-13 12:21:58 · answer #8 · answered by megajen2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm concerned because he said you were over-reacting. He should have been all apologetic. Watch his behavior over the next few days and see if he acts normally. If he acts strangely or If he does it again, seek help. It sounds to me as if the responsibility of a wife, a kid, and another on the way might be getting to him.
2006-07-09 14:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by gsgsetc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he ever stays out all night again, he can stay out for good!!! He has responsibilities now as a family man and should therefore act accordingly. Everybody is entitled to a few hours away from home to chill out, but there are limits. He should know better. Where are his morals??? You try not to stress as you are pregnant, but stand your ground.
2006-07-11 09:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋