My wife has become abusive with me and Im leaving her. We have 4 girls together (ages 7-12) and live in a nice home in a gated community where my girls are comfortable, so Im leaving my girls with my wife. Shes threatened to move with my girls out of state and claim I've abandoned my family. What can I do to protect myself and make sure my girls stay here.
2006-07-09 06:16:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Check out the answers you wife got a few questions below yours..What are you guys doing... Or is this 1 person writting these questions ????????
2006-07-09 06:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by LINDA E 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because I am not sure of where you live, I cant give you an exact answer, because the laws are different in different states. Many families these days go through parental split ups, my best advice to you is if neither of you have costody then you should be the first to go and apply for at least joint costody, if neither parent has custody then either parent can take the children out of statae without the consent of the other parent. Unless a judge finds you unfit you will get visitation and your x wife will not be able to leave state with out your permission, if your wife is abusive toward you then you might get full custody because a judge will question the fact that she is abusive.
2006-07-09 13:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by destiny2skyy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa...you're willing to leave 4 children with an abusive woman that you'd like to prove in court that you want the children? Doesn't work that way.
First, see an attorney before you do a thing.
Second, make plans on taking the kids when you leave...or else have the attorney file the divorce action seeking temporary custody for you of the children and the marital residence...which forces her to leave.
Third, have the children evaluated and see if they need counseling and if so, obtain it for them and document everything for the court battle ahead.
Do NOT walk away and leave those kids behind. You will NEVER prove to a judge you are the best parent for custody or that your wife is too abusive...because after all...you did leave the kids with her unprotected so just how abusive can she be?
2006-07-09 13:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU MOVE OUT OF THAT HOUSE< YOU WILL LOSE YOUR KIDS. FILE FOR DIVORCE, AND STAY IN THE HOME. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR KIDS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES OR YOU WILL NOT HAVE CUSTODY GRANTED. I WOULD FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER IMMEDIATELY AND THEN TAKE STEPS TO GET AN APARTMENT OR HOUSE THAT HAS ENOUGH ROOMS FOR THE GIRLS TO LIVE IN. MAKE SURE YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE NAMED IN THE RESTRAINING ORDER.
Good luck friend. My husband and I have been battling his abusive bi-polar ex wife for 4 years now.....they DO give women like this custody.
Furthermore keep through written documentation of the dates and times abuse occurs....my hubby made tapes of all the incidents that he could with a conceled recorder.
Call the police and file a REPORT every time she is abusive
Check out Deltabravo.com....great advice for divorcing fathers.
2006-07-09 13:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by Sunny And '74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, I don't know what your state laws are but in Alabama when you share joint custody a judge must decide how far away your wife can move with the kids. normally it is not more than 100 -300 miles away from the other parent. I would definitely seek a good attorney to make sure you can continue a normal visitation schedule with your children. Especially little girls, they need their daddies more than ever in their teens. Take the extra steps with your attorney to insure you have all the rights needed to continue fathering your children.
2006-07-09 13:24:29 · answer #5 · answered by redtoolips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife doesn't operate in a vacuum. If she's irate with you, you had to do something to give her reason. It seems obvious that you have some culpability in the demise of your marriage.
That being said, if anyone removes the children from the established family home and takes them to another state, then they have kidnapped the children. If someone moves, without the children and without a custody agreement, they can be in serious trouble.
If marriage counseling isn't an option at this point, you both need lawyers. Get one immediately who specializes in child custody.
2006-07-09 14:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laws vary from state to state. As others have said, you need a lawyer right away. If at all possible, try for collaborative or mediated divorce--it's hard work but much easier on the kids. You must put what's best for the kids first.
That said, I have to wonder since your screen name is "Lothario," what your role as a husband and father has been so far? If you go to court, your behavior as well as hers will be dragged in, it could get very ugly, it will be public, and your kids may suffer even more than they have and will just by the fact of divorce.
2006-07-09 13:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by KayaKate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously NOT abusive enough! You can still type, can't you? So what are you bellyaching about! I suspect this is more a case of "You can/t take what you give out." Get over yourself and join the party. Go slap her..right now! Since both of you like to abuse, I can only assume that you like to be abused (other side of the coin). Forget those nuisance kids! They have nothing to do with this, except for the family act you are putting together. It is definitely time to take this show to the streets..put out a jar for coins. Let me know how it is going....expiring minds want to know.
2006-07-09 13:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you're going to leave your daughters with an abusive woman because you have a nice house. Excellent plan. Let us know how that works out for you and them. Becuse if you move out of the house she can claim abandonment and rightfully so. She will get the house and the kids and you will be reduced to a spectator in your childrens lives. As I said hope your plan works out for you.
2006-07-09 13:26:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer first, please remember that an abusive person is not only abusive to one person, your girls may be in danger. You need to get an ironclad divorce agreement. make sure everything from visitation to child support and alimony and house payments ins etc is included and agreed upon, leave no room for misinturpretation/ Maybe made you should have made ler move out if she wants to leave the state so bad. good luck this is a bad situation all around. just remember that its your babies who need to come first. its not often that you see a dad like you. i know its all cliche and what not but its nice to know that it isnt always the man who ruins the relationship with abuse and neglect.
2006-07-09 13:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay at home every time she gets abbusive call the police an get a copy of every report every time you call police ask lawyer how many it might take to defend yourself an kids in court if she is abusive to you , you know she will hurt the kids you have to protect the kids at all costs when you file for devorce have kids with you when you file change locks on the house an kick her *** out of the house good luck
2006-07-09 18:58:00 · answer #11 · answered by featherman_65018 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋