How is it that we all have answers for each other, but not for ourselves?

Question

I mean, really.

Answer 1

yahoo forbids it.

Answer 2

Good question. Easy one too.

Have you ever heard the proverb, "any lawyer who defends him(her) self has a fool for a client"?

This is because (in the lawyer example), the attorney is too emotionally invested in the case to utilize full critical thinking in an effort to effectively defend their case.

By the way, it should be said that, of course, we're talking really emotionally powerful life situations. I mean, I ask myself "Where did I put my keys?" all the time and eventually (most often), recover my keys and answered my own question.

Which reminds me of another thing: usually when people are answering (or at least attempting to) the questions others raise, it's usually from a perspective of experience. Meanwhile, for the person going through the experience and asking for help, it's their first time...or even if it's not their first time, they've yet to master the skills to effortlessly overcome it. They may even know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel-they'll eventually pull through---but yearn for the comfort and assurance (and, if available, knowledge) someone slightly detached from a situation can offer.

If my car breaks down and I don't know how to fix it, should I just stand there and look at all of those tubes and gears and stuff I know I don't understand and spend hours...days..who knows how long trying to sort it out if I can afford a mechanic who could look at it with his/her knowledge and experience, understand the problem and give me a reasonable estimate of how long it would take to fix it and what I need to pay? We all benefit from experience: oftentimes, that experience is not our own. And the mechanic example is only slightly different than if I went out and bought a book on mechanics, rolled my sleeves up and gave it a go: the only difference is I'm relying on the experience of an author's text (or video) rather than the experience AND labor of a local mechanic.



I don't know about "all" the answers, but because so many people in the world have different talents, skills, capabilities and experience, I guess by having answers for others (and those others having answers for us), it softa balances out so that one person doesn't have to know everything for all of us to know something.

Answer 3

I've heard this kind of statement before and had always accepted it at face value, but now that I examine how to give an answer, I think its bunk. We do have answers for ourselves all the time, until we don't. So then we ask others who may have experience or wisdom in certain areas, in specific areas we are struggling in.
We use our own experiences to evaluate and negotiate the best path through life, but we usually don't ask until we are lost, or blocked in our progress. Some people gain respect notoriety for having good advice and like movie stars and rock stars, we want to feel affirmed through accolades. So a lot of advice floats around our societal circles, a lot of it bad, a some of it good. Ultimately, its still up to the individual who asks to choose for themselves which path they will use to progress.

Answer 4

Because in life it's hard to examine yourself. It's easier to say something to someone else because we're looking in.

Following your own advice is hard to do especially when you involve emotions. We don't know HOW/WHAT someone else is feeling so we can give answers without feelings involved. Sometimes when you look for an answer you have to admit you have a question.

For that woman that is getting knocked around by her husband it's easy to say leave. But you don't feel the love she feels. You don't have the memories she has. Nor are you hearing and wanting to believe what she hears.

Emotions don't let us listen to ourselves.

Answer 5

I ask myself this all the time. I'm always dishing out advice, but I can never seem to follow it myself. I can solve everyone else's problems, but I can't figure out my own.

I think it's because there is no emotional involvement in another person's problem. You can see both sides of the issue when it's someone else, and give them some insight into how other's may perceive the situation.

When it's your own problem, you're too focused on your own emotions, and it makes it difficult to understand the situation. It's like you get too caught up in what the situation is doing to you (how it's making you feel) and you can't step back from that and think it through.

Answer 6

That is a fantastic question. I think it is because it is easy too look at someone else and see what they are doing "wrong" or give them advice, but being introspective enough to do that to ones self, is vastly more difficult. Even if we for ourselves realize we are not ok or are making bad choices, it is really hard to move ones self to an answer

Answer 7

We may have questions for ourselves but need external affirmation.

Don't you notice that most questions are asked in such a way as to solicit the responses of the askers preconceived notions? They just want confirmation of their own truth.

Most of them are not really interested in differing points of view.

Answer 8

Well.. we've all been through similar things in life, but the order we go through these things vary from person to person. So a 16 year old may have answers a 21 year old may not... I suppose it's a matter of experience...

Answer 9

Maybe because it seems easier to help others than ourselves. On the other hand, I'm content with my life enough to know I have fewer problems.

Answer 10

Because its easier to give advice. Since after all the responsibility of making a decision is not ours.

Answer 11

We are blinded by our own opinions and past experiences. This stops us from answering the questions which trouble us most. It is so much simpler to answer another's question than one's own. For example, do you know the answer to your own question?