Do you think homosexuality is something people are born with or is it a behavior choice, or environmental?

Question

I'm not homophoic or anti gay, please don't think that, I'm just curious as to the reason some people are gay and some are not.

Look at countries like Iran, where they hang you for being homosexual, who in hell would choose to be gay there.?

Answer 1

I think it is learned. Here is my observational evidence. Most men that I observe act more dramatic and 'sissified' than any girls I ever meet. Its more of an over the top performance than anything else. If there were something in the genes of gay men to make them gay, their behavior would be somewhere in between typical masculine and feminine behavior, or at lease as feminine as the average female...but the gay male demonstrates super feminine behavior which proves to me that it is a learned performance and not a genetic behavior.



Additional point: One of the strongest pro-homosexual arguments is why would someone WANT to be gay?

Humans naturally pursue happiness, want to be loved, and to cope with hard times.

(Reason 1) -Tragedy - When sexually abused , especially at a very early age, it can throw an understanding of your sexuality in a tumble. If you were a girl who was a victim of male sexual abuse, it can be impossible to ever feel safe with someone of the male sex again. And if you were a boy who was abused by another male, it was be a very difficult time trying to feel secure about your masculinity know what had happened to you. Emotionally, it could be easier to embrace homosexuality then to deal with trying to feel at the same level as other heterosexual males.

(Reason 2) - Social order - No one wants to be at the bottom of the social pecking order. Boys know very early if they are too timid to be included with the alpha males of the class and girls know early on if they are not pretty enough to hang with the pretty girls or get attention from the boys in class. This is why you can have many handsome gay guys because being an alpha male has nothing to do with looks but with aggressiveness and confidence. Also this is why (sorry if I offend anyone) you won't see to many lesbians who would win beauty contest.

For many individuals, the homosexual lifestyle offers an alternative to being at the bottom of the heterosexual social latter to being at the top of a different kind of social scene.


(Reason 3) - Rebellion - Many homosexuals come from pretty cookie cutter homes with strict rules. Generations have always in some way rebelled against their parents to make their own mark. First it was smoking, then tatoos and piercings, and now one of the cool things to do to let your parents know that you want nothing to do with their values is to embrace homosexuality. This is the top reason why so many kids 'come of the closet' in college as they feel they want to make their own mark on the world. This is the romantic view of homosexuality - as a processive thinker and freedom fighter for all people with a bachelor degree and excellent taste and ideals in everything.

Answer 2

Asking whether homosexuality is something people are "born with" implies that you consider homosexuality to be a disease or deformity. I would like you to consider rephrasing your statement as "homosexual is something people are born being" or "...born as." Since you ask the question respectfully, though, I am sure you meant no harm in your choice of words.

To answer your question, I can say that I spent most of my life (I am now 42) trying not to be homosexual, and it just did not work. In spite of my personal will not to be gay, in spite of the environments and circumstances I put myself in where homosexuality would not be an option, and in spite of (almost) the entire society's pressure not to be homosexual, I could not deny my sexuality.

At age 35 I stopped trying to kill or deny who or what I am, and since then my life has improved a thousand-fold. Today I am more in love with life and adore and respect all humanity more than ever before. So what else should we conclude except that I was born a homosexual? That is the answer I am satisfied with.

Please have sense enough to ignore people who claim that a person's sexuality, whatever it may be, is a matter of choice. Certainly an individual's behavior is to a large extent chosen; I would never dispute that. For example, when I chose to deny my sexuality and to try to be straight, I was trying to force myself to be someone I was not, and I was trying to force everyone else to believe my lie. Then, when I chose to admit I was gay, everything bad in my life changed within three years. However, I have absolutely no choice when it comes to my sexual human nature. I am as gay today as I was when I was born, and I am as gay as I was at 10 or 11 years old and first felt drawn sexually toward other males, and today I am becoming the person I am supposed to be.

Now, when it comes to how I choose to behave as a gay man, whether to take on a certain kind of look or style or role or persona, yes, that is a matter of choice. However, my basic sexual attraction to men is fundamental to who and what I am, and I cannot change that, and I do not want to change that. Although I cannot speak for all of the rest of the human beings in the world, I think it is pretty safe to assume that all other people feel the same way about their individual sexuality (please note that here I am talking about sexuality, not actual physical sex/gender, i.e., male, female, or hermaphrodite, which many people opt to change).

Answer 3

You have asked a very reasonable question. I don't have any facts to back my opinion on this matter but I have my life experiences. I asked this question for many years. I was fortunate enough to know many gays young and old. I observed some of them from childhood to late teens.

I differently think that most of the gays are born with a chemical imbalance and are gay from their gene make up. I have been friends with non gays couple that have had one of their children that showed gay tendencies as they developed through out their childhood.

Here is how I break it down. I believe that there are 90% true gays in the world today. 8% are not really gays but bisexuals, this bisexuality is developed thru their sexual experiences. 2% of the gays are from environmental thru sexual abuse in the family and have mental health issues from that.

I hope this help you understand the complexity if the homosexual environment.

Answer 4

I think it is learned. Here is my observational evidence. Most men that I observe act more dramatic and 'sissified' than any girls I ever meet. Its more of an over the top performance than anything else. If there were something in the genes of gay men to make them gay, their behavior would be somewhere in between typical masculine and feminine behavior, or at lease as feminine as the average female...but the gay male demonstrates super feminine behavior which proves to me that it is a learned performance and not a genetic behavior.

Answer 5

Homosexuality is not a choice or environmental thing...I was raised by a straight, Christian family.....growing up, I didn't even know what a homosexual was, but since the age of 6, I remember I had crushes on girls, not boys... all through school, acting "straight" for me was a behavior, and environmental choice.

Answer 6

I think that all three can contribute. Each person is a different case. Some may be born with "Chemical Imballances" or "Gay DNA" while others make choices. Still others learn from the envierment they grow up in or from events in your life tramitzes you.

All three are accpetable reasons in different people. There is no one way to be gay. It's good to ask, you are trying to understand the subject, informed people make better people.

Answer 7

If you ask a straight person if their sexuality is a choice, they will just look at you with the expression of "What are you talking about?"

To someone who is straight, the idea of choosing that they are attracted to the opposite sex is ridiculous.

Why then do people feel that it is appropriate to ask the same question of gays and lesbians?

Here is where the choice comes in.... Straights and gays alike get to choose whether or not they ACT on their sexuality, but they don't choose what their sexuality is.

Most straight men are not attracted to 100% of the women out there. The same could be said of Lesbians. Most straight women are not attracted to 100% of the men out there. The same could be said of gay men. Within their sexual orientation, people have certain attributes they are attracted to.

Why are some attracted to blonds, others attracted to brunettes? Some attracted to light skin others to dark skin? Why are some people attracted to money and power while others attracted to simplicity and humility? That stuff may be environmental... there may be choice involved in that.... and again even that could be as innate and tied to one's biology as their sexuality.

The confusion over being gay or straight really comes from this. People confuse the choice of whether or not to go out on a date with that hot guy/girl, with the reality that one is attracted to that guy/girl because of somethig deep inside that they can't put their finger on.

Trying to put our finger on it... figuring out what it is about that person that makes you want to be with them... well, that is universal don't you think?

Answer 8

This question is often arguable, which I am not sure why. However, in my opinion, homosexuality is just as innate as heterosexuality. I am willing to accept that it is a choice to embrace your homosexuality publicly or to exercise it in your personal life. Clearly there would be no satisfaction in pretending to be homosexual if you're heterosexual, so why would it be a choice to be homosexual? If you knew you'd have to endure so much pressure and disapproval from nations upon nations of people, why would you choose to be something to "negative" (in terms of how society views it). Homosexuality is as natural as someone's hair color. You are born with it, and you can change it, but underneath the facade it is still whatever color it started out as. I use lots of simple metaphors to respresent things that are hard to understand. And, since this one was as simple as a strand of hair...there ya go.

Answer 9

Your question is very deep, but we have to be humble and admit there is no proof on the origin and causes. Indeed it is an inner manifestation of a person's sensitivity and personality, ultimately rooted in the heart and soul. We will never be able to find the reasons when facing feelings. As the 17th century philosopher, Blaise Pascal said in his book "Pensees" (Thoughts): The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.

Answer 10

Hi kid,

Yeah, what happened in Iran is outrageous, thank you for reminding me, I have to run down to NYC on the 19th for the vigil.

That said, evidence is that it is inborn. scientific research indicates that homosexuality is inborn, whether for genetic or chemo-genetic reasons. Homosexuality is sexual attraction to the same sex to the exclusion of the opposite sex.

Homosexuality is as natural as any other form of sexuality. The traditional natural law argument maintained that homosexuality did not exist in nature, and therefore was unnatural and chosen by individuals. Now we know that to be totally false. Decades long indepth studies have revealed that in fact homosexuality exists in all of the hundreds of species studied; furthermore, among those with pair bonding, homosexual pair bonds occur to the exclusion of any heterosexual mating. The seminal study in this field is by Dr. Bruce Bagemihl and is titled "Biological Exuberance" it is published by St. Martin's Press and may be available to purchase online used.

Of course there are other equally ridiculous anti-gay arguments:

The argument that it is communicable -- one of the traditional anti-gay arguments -- is demonstrably false. People may deal with their sexuality later in life, but sexual attraction to same sex members combined with a total lack of sexual attraction to opposite sexed members cannot be spread from one person to the other.

Traditionally (pre 1970s) psychology treated homosexuality as a pathology (disease) and attempted, though admittedly without success, to "cure" it -- that changed in the 1970s, partially as a result of political action, but mostly as a result of a series of studies that convinced most psychologists that homosexuality was, whatever else it might be, neither a disease nor curable. Hundreds of peer reviewed studies since then have supported the progressive conclusion of the 1970's psychologists and psychiatrists.

Today we have a movement that claims it can cure homosexuality. Some of what it uses is pop psychology, most of what it uses is religious. The reality is, now being established by study after study, despite bitter opposition from the practicioners to any studies being performed; that it doesn't, and in fact can't change anyone at all.

That is not to say that a gay person can't pretend to be straight. Can't marry a woman, presuming that we are talking about a male (which will ill serve the woman, because real attraction will never be there) and can't father children. The whole process of living a secret life of one night stands and hidden trysts while pretending to be straight is the very closet from which gay people are escaping. It doesn't change what you are -- only lets the bigots feel more comfortable that you are "like everyone else," at the cost of your self-worth, dignity, and character -- and most of your female partner's dignity as well. To be in the closet is not to be straight, it is to be unhappy, perhaps even more unhappy than being celibate. It is also not to say that a gay person can't decide to live without sex, anyone can do that. A gay person however is a gay person; and cannot be anything else, not because of pathology, which has been rejected now for over 40 years by the doctors that study homosexuality, but because it is what is natural to him or her.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

PS Specific response to Nitrogen --

One, I very much doubt that you would be able to tell I was gay unless I chose to tell you -- now I happen to be out -- so I wouldn't hide it -- but Jonathan is out too -- if you ask, he tells you -- and one guy who did Chemistry with him didn't realize he was gay for the first three years they worked together. So, you sir are using stereotypes, reinforced I suspect by the fact that the only gays you notice are the ones that are stereotypical.

Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with the stereotypical gays at all. However, you have adopted the stereotypes and continue to aggressively push them as not only the gay normative, which they aren't -- but the gay only -- throughout your post.

That makes your post false overall.

Regards,

Reyn