whats the difference between discipline and abuse?

Question

I've always wondered when the line was drawn for the difference between child abuse and disciple.
For example, one of my close friends lied to her mom about homework (=S) and her mom beat her with a wooden stick.
And her mom also grabs her hair & punches the daughter in the head, giving her headaches on that side of the head, even long after the attack.
Another example, like if you parents tell you that you have nothing that you're good at and you have no talents, etc.
My friend is really upset and crys all the time and I really want to help her but I don't know if I can count it as abuse.

Answer 1

absolutly its counted as both physical abuse and emtional abuse, physical abuse is when your hit,pushed punched wacked or anything specially if it leaves any brusing. its ok to gently smack a child on the butt but there is an age limit to when its started as being classed as being abused and that age is generally around 12-13. Emtional abuse is anything that is said to upset,discriminate,or majorally offened her or racist things.

Answer 2

definitely sounds like abuse -- physical as well as emotional and verbal. what her mom is doing is NOT right.

The first example you gave where your friend lied and then was punished with a wooden stick could be considered Discipline because she lied and the beating was the consequence (though a harsh one in my opinion)

BUT, the punching and pulling hair is NOT discipline.

Verbal abuse (telling her she has no talents/is worthless) is just as damaging because it breaks down self-esteem and gives feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness which sounds like what your friend is going through.

She needs help, though it should be approached with great sensitivity and caution. Be as supportive and understanding as you can.

Intervention on your part could cause her home life to become worse. Try and talk to an adult about it (school teacher/principal/counsellor) Social services may have to be involved if it really is a bad case.

Good luck! You are a good friend for caring and wanting to help.

Answer 3

Discipline is punishing your child when they have done something wrong. It's thing's like grounding. Some parents spank their children which is still violence but OK by law. Child abuse is when parent's physically and verbally abuse their children. What's happening with your friend is called domestic violence and is illegal. She needs help as fast as possible. She is unsafe in that enviorment, If another attack happens tell her to get out of the house go to someone Else's house and call the police from the person's house. In the mean time there are many people besides the police that can help such as the child abuse hot line. She may not want to do it out of fear and uncertainty, but you have to push her to do it even if she gets mad at you, because later she'll thank you for it.

Answer 4

Both cases are definitely abuse. One is physical and one is mental but both friends are hurt. The first example, that mother needs to go to jail and the girl needs to live with someone else. She needs to start documenting as much as she can and tell a school counselor, or check the phone book for agencies and give someone a call. That friend NEEDS OUT.

In the second case, the parents could do with some counseling and things just may change. Maybe they don't realize what they are doing, and maybe they are doing it on purpose. Has the friend talked to the parents? How about getting their minister/priest involved just for a talk?

Have your friend(s) go to www.girlsandboystown.org or call 1-800-448-3000

They can talk on the phone or online with people who know and can help.

Answer 5

Yes i would consider that abuse!
I was disciplined with spankings, but those were rare!
I was never hit in the head, altho i was smacked on my bottom with a wooden spoon when i was spanked!
That sounds like abuse, tell your friend she needs help! That is not normal! Think about it? Does your mom do that to you?

Answer 6

that is abuse poor friend. Disciple is strict enough but not painful. Past the age of 10 physicial discipline is abuse. WHen a 4 year old throws a tantrum u spand them with your hand lightly enough on there butt. IT doesnt hurt them but they no to stop it tells them stop doing this its bad. When ten year olds get there hair pulled out and smacked on the head it hurts its abuse. see adults can easily teach young kids lessons older kids physicial discipline is abuse

Answer 7

I consider discipline as something used by parents to help teach their children and help make them well rounded adults. (Such as grounding your children if they do something they're not supposed to do.) Abuse is more of when you are violent and abuse your kids mentally or physically out of your own anger and knowingly inflict pain. What your friend is experiencing is definitely abuse. Telling your kids they have no talents and they're good at nothing is more of bad parenting.~Good Luck!

Answer 8

I thing your poor friend is being abused. The word discipline means to teach, see how it is similar to the word disciple. I don't think Jesus would have hit his disciples with sticks.
BTW I am SO NOT preaching here, just giving an example.

Answer 9

that is abuse. but there are alot of things that could not be considered it. like just using a switch and spanking no way even a slap on the face isnt. downgrading is done by teachers so definately not. punching yes.

Answer 10

That is definitely abuse. If it was discipline her mom wouldn't punch her or beat her. You have to help your friend! Tell someone you can trust, she needs help!