I had made a HUGE mistake 2 mos. ago and left my live-in boyfriend for someone else. I am in love with my now ex and we had been together for 8 years. I made a mistake and I realized I was unhappy with myself and not our relationship. (I have a body dysmorphic issue that I am currently working through.) I know I am a horrible person for doing what I did. Now he has in turn found another girlfriend and I have since left the 'other' boyfriend. I am not expecting him to rush back to me w/o question but I am in so much pain because I love him SO much and I know that I made a HUGE mistake... How or what can/should I do to prove to him that I am sorry and want to work everything out? Thank You.
2006-07-09 02:13:13 · 11 answers · asked by voodoobarbie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*(During our 8 year relationship he had cheated on me 5 times. I have never cheated on him. And until now had NEVER given any reason for doubt in my trust and love for him.)
2006-07-09 03:18:41 · update #1
And thank you to all who answer this question. I truly appreciate it. Even if I dont want to hear the answer, I do appreciate everyones help. Thanks again.
2006-07-09 08:37:50 · update #2
Loss is difficult. However, you left him. Should you try to win your boyfriend back, you would only drive the new couple closer together.
Your ex may really care for this new gal, or she could be helping him to get over you. However, jumping in right now would not be a good idea for any of you. You would probably hurt three people more, your ex, yourself and the new gal.
Try to give this situation time. They may break up too. Or, they may not. You may need time to really relax and discover more about yourself. Just keep informed of how the new relationship is progressing, if it falls apart, then contact him. If it doesn't, then accept your end in things and let these two be happy. Then move forward. Life will continue.
Good Luck
2006-07-09 02:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first thing you need to do is be sure you are prepared for the possibilites. The possibilty that 1. He is not going to ever take you back because there will be a trust issue. 2. He may be happy with his new girlfriend. 3. The new girlfriend might not be willing to let him go.
You then have to think about how much of your energy are you willing to put forth to get him back. If you left on good terms (I cant imagine after 8 yrs he was happy that you left him and your home for another guy) it might be as easy as a phone call, apology and some good sex because he still loves you and he isnt serious with the new girlfriend. You also have to consider if he is/was hurt, he may use this as a way to get back at you by taking you back so he can dump you.
If you think you still have a chance, then you have alot of work and honestly a**kissing ahead of you. You dumped him and even if he decides to forgive you. He will never forget it. You may want to just reach out to him so he will know you are again single and spend that energy working on yourself. If it is meant for you to be together..you will again.
2006-07-09 09:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by philly_q_t_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok here's the list of problems. one he trusted you and committed himself to you for 8 years and you just walked way from him into the arms of another man. two he has moved. So you might not remember how long it took him to trust you before if you do take that and multiply by ten. you lost his trust and really how can you expect him to believe you won't do it again. And even he does take you back he might just hold the fact that you walked out over your head. So your best bet is just try being his friend until he sees that you can be trust. You can force him to trust you. And let me warn you the relationship will never be the same.
2006-07-09 09:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by fly on the wall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on.
He's cheated on you 5 times, and unless you are OK with that, it won't stop now. Especially if you are "crawling back" to him - he will always have the upper hand in the relationship.
Learn from this mistake and the next time you fall in love, maybe you'll stick with the new one.
This bridge has been burned from both sides.
2006-07-09 12:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did a mistake baby, so now dont do another.
Just dont expect him to be back, atleast dont make moves that are suggestive of your internal ambitions. Just be friends and good friends. If your luck favours you will have him back in a couple of months or later. just remember males always favour the person whom they really know for long term relationships. So you can try your luck. Patience and understanding will help you!
2006-07-09 09:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him but do not expect anything out of it. The way I see it, you made your choice and there is no point regretting it now. Work through your problems and talk to him because life is too small to hold regrets and grudges within yourself. If you do not get back together, you may at least develop a friendship that could work.
2006-07-09 09:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by Debz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you luck in getting him back....Sounds like he has moved on.
The best thing I think for you to do is tell him how you feel and then leave him alone for awhile. He does not trust you and you also have to understand you hurt him and he is not wanting to go there again with you.
Remember the "grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence"
2006-07-09 09:20:09 · answer #7 · answered by floridagrandma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get together with him just the 2 of you with no distractions. Look him in the eyes and simply tell him how you feel. If it's not there for him then it's over, you have to move on. Make up sex always worked for me when taking back my lady.
2006-07-09 09:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, u become a good pal of his gal, then u keep tellin him how u miss him n how his new gal islucky 2 have him. U need 2 grovel but dont over do it coz dat sends us in the opposite direction n very fast. Wish u the best gal.
2006-07-09 09:20:15 · answer #9 · answered by ahmed-hamid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the mistake you made can leave behind a very nasty side effect but if you are truely sorry you should be able to tell him this and he should understand the best way for myself when this happened to me a few years ago was when my ex came to me and said follow your heart and not your head it took me a few weeks to think about what she had said and we have been together and happy ever since.It takes 2 to admit their mistakes and 2 to put the pieces back together.
2006-07-09 09:20:07 · answer #10 · answered by flying_eagle_72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋