should I have a baby?

Question

i really want to have a a baby with my fiance. we are stable finacially and emotionally. the only thing is that my mum feels really strongly that we should get married first. should i wait and please my mum or disregard her feelings?

Answer 1

I don't think you should disregard her feelings but maybe you should try sitting her down and explain how you feel. This is a decision for you and your partner not your mum.
If this is what you and your partner want then go for it.

Answer 2

if you are already engaged, then why don't you get married first and then have the baby?
what's holding up the wedding?
have you been engaged for a long time but still not married?
When is the commitment going to happen?
Is your fiance stringing you along?
Maybe you are someone who doesn't believe that you need to be married to have a baby and that's ok as long as you know that your fiance believes the same and is not afraid of the commitment -- it is easy to be engaged these days and then break the engagement.

Another thing is you say "I really want to have a baby...." what does your fiance want?
Babies are a lifetime commitment and they are not easy and the more you support you have (fiance/husband/mother/friends) the better it is.

The fact that you are seriously considering what your mum feels means you do value her opinion.
She will always be your mum no matter what.
A husband may or may not be there no matter what.
For your sake I hope he is.

So maybe this isn't just about having a baby or your mum's feelings or being financially and emotionally secure.....think about it

Answer 3

I'd get married first. What's the big rush in having a baby right now? Believe me it all seems lovely and exciting but in reality it's very tough going (yes its rewarding because I've been through it twice and adore being a parent). Enjoy each other for as long as possible before most of your time is devoted to the baby and you are too exhausted to have quality time together! (Ok I exaggerate a little but only a little!). You're already engaged so why wait too long before you take the next step? If you're stable enough to have a baby then why not to get married? Keep your mum happy because she know's best!

Answer 4

i think you should give what your mother says some thought but only because she's your mother and you should have respect for what she says. if y ou really don't want to get married i don't see the problem with you having a child out of wedlock. it is the 21st century after all. however, if this is going to create huge problems between you and your mother the perhaps you could get married in a register office if you really dont want all the fuss.

i had the opposite problem; i had a child and wanted to marry the father and my mum objected. 13 years on we're still together and my mum's very happy with her son in law. you need to listen to your mum but at the end of the day it's your decision. you're a big girl now! :) good luck!

Answer 5

I would say it depends on how old you are. Make sure your fiance feels as strongly as you do about starting a family. You don't want to left as a single mum. I don't see that in this day and age, being married makes a lot of difference.

Answer 6

Is there a particular reason you dint want to marry your finance? Really the choice is yours not your mums, however one thing to bear in my Under the 1999 Children's Act, you fiance has no legal rights to your child if you are not married. What you should really be thinking about is, what if something happened to you, although unlikely, he could be forced to prove his compatibilities as a parent, I have read cases where the unmarried father has even had to adopt his own child (UK). In today's world I can see why people don't really want to get married, after all its only a piece of paper, although where your child is concerned its a piece of mind, piece of paper. Good luck Hun XX

Answer 7

Babys come when they will !
If you are both ready why not see what nature brings ,it can take a day or a year to concieve .
Why do you not want to get married now?
Babies are far more of a commitment and you will be tied as a family forever ,whatever happens I am sure your mum will love you

Answer 8

You should just wait until you get married. The whole experience will mean so much more because you are married and will not have to have that hanging over the entire pregnancy. Your mom is right...and she sounds like she really cares about you so listen to her. Good luck!

Answer 9

At the end of the day the dessision is only yours and your partners, in modern day life marrage before birth is not important. a stable home is worth alot more. You can listen to other peoples opinion but then ask them why? what difference does marrage make to your child or relationship in the end marrage consists of a peice of paper, and bit of metal and a few words.....lol. (by the way yes i am happily married.....lol) good luck

Answer 10

What does a baby bring to our lives? Some would say bottles, pampers, pacifiers, sleepless nights, dirty smelly diapers, doctor bills, stained shirts and dresses from those volcanic burps, the list goes on and on. A baby has to have a whole life support system. If you go anywhere with the baby, you have to rent a U-Haul truck! Children bring a lot of changes in our lives.

What does a baby bring into our lives? love!
What does a baby bring into our lives? hope!
What does a baby bring into our lives? joy!