Her sex drive?

Question

my wife and i used to make love like 5 times a day. Now she seems to have lost her sex drive. She doesnt really think about sex. If we do it its when i bring it up. I dont think she is cheating on me, and she says that she is still attracted to me. Is there a way to bring it back. I dont mean 5 times a day but i would love for her to come on to me. Yesterday i did the rose pedals on the bed thing and she wanted it then but i want her to want it just because. I Love my wife very much and i dont want her to think that all i care about is sex so i dont bring it up very much. But sex is important in a realationship, I think anyway. and she just doesnt seem to care about it at all. Could it be a medical problem?

We have been married for 3 years, we have a two year old boy. She works fulltime at a job that does require a lot of her energy. I understand all of that. The honeymoon phase has been over i am not wanting 5 times a day. I would be happy with 5 times a week or less. My main problem is that she isnt intrested in it. I want her to want it to. Maybe her initiate it every now and then.

Answer 1

I think everyone goes through phases... don't push her about it, but at the same time, let her know you want her, etc... and she will respond and hopefully get to a level that will make you happie. Good luck.

Answer 2

All marriages go through this. Especially once the children come along and with two people working. The five times a day thing is over but you can have the 3 to 5 times a week thing. The only way to get that is to re date your wife. Pursue her. Give her massages. Rub her feet. Listen to her tell you about he bitchy woman at work. Take the kid out and let her relax at home. Wash the dishes. Little things. She will then feel relax and close to you. What will really get her going is to do all this and for your acts of kindness not to lead to sex everytime. I guarantee, it may not be 5 times a day but she will be swinging from the rafters when it does happen!

Answer 3

Do you have kids? Does she work outside of the home as well? How many hours does she work per day? Does she have a problem with the way she looks.

I'll tell ya, working and having kids takes it out of ya. We use to make love a LOT more often prior to having kids. And I changed jobs a year or so into our marriage where I now work 12 hour days. I'm so worn out by the time I come home that making love is the LAST thing on my mind. On my days off, I'm trying to catch up with the laundry, dishes, house, kids. The other problems is the 20 or so pounds that I need to lose...

Answer 4

I for one can understand what your wife is going thru. I think both of us have the same problem. I am a working mum myself and I'm very sure my husband has the same problem as you.He also suggested we fix an appointment with a sex therapist. But have you asked yourself these questions... When was the the last time you had your honeymoon? When was the last time you pamper her? When a woman has to face work pressure,stress, long hours of work, caring for you and the kids,nurturing and disciplining the children, house chore and helping the you with all the house finances. With all these in our mind, do you think we have the energy for sex? Especially if sex patterns are super routine....We care, I'm sure your wife want to have sex especially with her beloved husband. Surprise us, do something to make our day everyday, understand us better and you might even be able to sex every day. We know when you care....

Answer 5

If i had a dollar for everytime I've read a similar story on this site, I'd be a rich man. This is very very common.

I don't know the answer - the same thing happened with me and i eventually divorced her. I'd rather be alone than be in a sexless marriage. When are women going to understand that we could care less about them when the sex stops?

Answer 6

has your wife actually ever initiated equally? has your wife ever been the aggressor? if she hasn't been the leader and you would like for her to be sometimes, then just tell her. communication is way more important than sex. if she knows how you feel and you know how she feels, then there would be no need to ask these type of questions. you can't put expectations on a person if they don't know what you want. this just may not be in her character. something that should have been picked up on early in your courtship. if that is the case, then you will have to find a way for her to be comfortable in initiating. talk to her and find out from her first. "ask not want not" "you have not because you did not ask"

Answer 7

I think that she is just all burned out.. All those 5 times a day you used to do her. Give her time and maybe she will come around and things will be normal, or some what normal. Just go 1/2 speed.

Answer 8

Hey, in your other question you said you're a stay at home dad, and your wife works really hard. I think she may not respect your lack of career direction. Get your GED and get a job, man! Don't feel intimidated to get your GED. I know you can do it. Study first. If you go to a community college, they can help you study. Get a job and your wife will probably find you much sexier.

Answer 9

You said she "wanted it" after you made an effort to romance her and make it special for her. Sometimes that is all a woman needs to "want it". Woman are definitely different than men in the bedroom. Most of us need an emotional connection to our man before, during and after "making love". Men don't necessarily need to be "wined and dined" in order to be in the mood. Women do. Once the man gets that, the sooner all can enjoy the big O. :)

Answer 10

The main thing i came to know from your information is that, she is not interested with you, dont think that she is intereseted with you and not in the game. Take her out to somewhere in a tourist spot, discuss the matter patiently... and Try to understand the reason behind that, rectify that..