we havent got physical yet. but he says that his wife doesnt love him much. hes been married for 1 and a half yrs and has a baby. i dont think either of us can ever find nebody else like each other. i mean this connection is too gr8.what shud i do. we met on the net. ive never met him otherwise but we talk on d phone.
2006-07-09 00:38:37 · 34 answers · asked by pure_sheen 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Nothing good can come out of this.....
2006-07-09 00:41:27 · answer #1 · answered by PDre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His wife probably felt exactly as you do now when she met him. Now she no longer loves him ... hmmmmm ... I wonder why.
He swore an oath before God and everyone that he would love her and provide for her forever. This was also a legally binding contract. Now he is willing to break his most sacred promise and a legal contract just to get what he wants. This is the kind of person he is.
Did you know that studies have been done for over 70 years, and it's conclusive that the number one factor in shortening your life expectancy is to be the child of divorced parents?
This is true. It's a greater factor than smoking or drinking. Being the child of divorced parents. It probably has something to do with the long-term effects of the stress at that young age.
Tell him this, and watch his reaction. I'll bet that he will dismiss it, or even if he believes it, it won't make a difference to him. Then ask yourself how you could respect a man who would intentionally curse his child like that just to satisfy his own selfish lust.
If you can't find a better man that this, than there are no other men in your county.
I know that none of this will affect your feelings about him, because he has gotten into your emotions, but just print this out and keep it, and maybe you can use it in a few years to remind you of how bad your judgement can be when your emotions are involved.
My sister was 16 and met a guy who worked at Taco Bell where she worked. He was about 24, and had a baby, only he was divorced.
She should have never even let him buy her a coffee, but now she's married to him. He even moved across the state from his son, whom he only sees a couple times a year. How can she respect a man who won't be a father to his own son? How can she ever expect this guy to be a father to her son if they have one? How can a man love a wife if he doesn't even love his own flesh, his own child?
It's a no win situation: If he ever straightens out, and devotes his time, energy, effort and money to his son from the first marriage, she will resent that it is taking away from her son. On the other hand, if he doesn't be a father to his first son, you know he won't be a father to her kids either, and how can she respect him?
I'm sorry for you. If you can stand up against your feelings, never talk to him again. Watch how fast he finds someone else. Just watch.
2006-07-09 00:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello pure_sheen, when your question is so brief, the answer would be the same. I say that due to my observations made with the other "Yahoo Answers". You are in a situation that only you can understand because you obviously know that you are not supposed to be entertaining the 24 year old married guy. The objective behind your question is understanding the problem rather than answering it. Yes, there are internet predators, vexatious and anonymous people... you are obviously aware with such terms if you are not a first-time internet user. Then why did you get into it? What caused you to get into it? and if you knew that this is morally and ethically wrong what propelled you further?? If you trust the connection between you guys i Strongly suggest and suggest only (cause i will not advice) then you people must meet once otherwise there will a curiousity drive which will not lead you to peace either. Maybe the situation changes after you meet him once I think that would be better than shutting him off completely. If he is guilty of cheating on his wife and kids (which he is tottaly culpable of) you are also guilty on your part to continue. The best people to help you out of this problem is either a 30 + girl whom you trust openly (as suggested in one of the "answers" or the both of you have to simply decide. Either ways, my best wishes to you and i suggest you to come to a conclusion at the earliest
Regards,
Anita
2006-07-13 22:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg. Its like a forbidden fruit. You can't or shouldn't have it but you want it. If he is a married man you should leave him well alone. If he gets a divorce and waits for about a year then yes but he's not going to wait a year for you or get a divorce is he? That's not a great connection.
He'll give you the sob story of 'my wife doesn't love me' or 'If I leave I won't get to see my baby' but you'll be better to back off him and if he is truely unhappy in his relationship he'll leave anyway. Just don't be the reason for him leaving as this baby has a father that your playing with though he sounds like a jerk.
You'll then start thinking that no-one else has your connection but you don't have the monopoly on love. Everyone has these feelings. Did you think anybody was going to come on and say 'Yes, go for it, its the right thing to do'. You know the answer yourself. Its hard and I hope you come through it and do the right thing. Good luck
2006-07-09 00:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by brian h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear,
You are now a big person and you are just starting to see world and people. At the beginning everything seems so beautiful and you don't need nothing more than to sit and relax enjoying the beauty of life. OK, do so, but don't make your existence unbearable. A marryed man is not the type of man that could get you what you want. I know this because I passed through a experience quite similat to this one. Fortunately nothing wrong happened; but that was close. You can be loved. Let yourself loved by those ones that that can and will pay attention to your needs. A person that seraches pleasure and wantes to give up his responsibilities cannot and will not be a good partener.
You are free to do what you want. Just remember that you cannot make a hudge step without damage. Live you adge, live your life!
2006-07-09 01:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pure Sheen, I have gone through all of your Yahoo Answers queries. You look to be so young, naive and vulnerable. Better stop looking for answers on the Internet. Go to a lady who might be 30(+) or something and with whom you can have a very honest talk.
And if at all, you are gonna have a fling with that man...it should just be a fling. No long term commitments. It looks, you have made up your mind to have sex with him. Do so safely and carefully, if you have to do it at all...and keep him at a safe distance, so you may get out of the whole affair quikcly, when needed. But, you will need someone else around for this purpose. Someone, whom you may trust...so find a good hearted 30(+) lady friend first.
God bless your sojourns in life!
2006-07-13 06:41:48 · answer #6 · answered by rsintheatre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to him and e mailing him, and tell him to call you if he ever becomes single. This way, if you are really meant for each other, you will know that you were not applying pressure to end his marriage and hurt his baby. By the way, this is not the greatest relationship, and he maybe anybody, maybe even 42 with a huge belly, 4 kids from 3 different marriages, got laid off and is passing sometime on the internet. If not an internet predator. Beware.
2006-07-09 03:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by Hanan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're awash in a sea of intense emotions, a certain kind of intimacy, and you feel "alive" to your fullest extent. However, as incredible as this might sound, your emotions are misplaced in this situation.
Please step back a bit. Take a break, go outside and pursue some other hobby until you see things a bit more clearly.
What if one of your girlfriend's told you that she was going through this situation? Wouldn't you doubt? Or be suspicious? And perhaps warn her, "WAIT! This guy is MARRIED and has a child."
THINK: You're on the internet with him. Of course it's easy to establish a connection. But it's not REAL. Elements of it are, to be sure, but for what you're describing, it's a shaky way at best to establish a sustaining relationship.
THINK: Of his wife and child.
THINK: You are not the answer to his unhappiness. His looking outside his marriage is not the answer. Yes, it feels wonderful and there's something to be said for that, BUT, he made his decision and he's betraying his wife, his child and himself.
Please, step back, think and re-think and then remove yourself from this situation. Any short-term gain will be off-set by a lot of hurt and pain and sorrow.
2006-07-09 00:59:39 · answer #8 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the connection immediately. He's married. You're underage. You've never met him. If he's married with a child doesn't that tell you enough about him? He's a liar, prowling the net for someone gullible. Don't be that someone. Talk to an adult you trust about the situation.
2006-07-09 14:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe anything this man tells you then you need to be locked up until your brain matures and you are capable of thinking clearly. At this point in time you are quite insane like all other teenagers. The connection you feel are purely physical and are totally meaningless. Avoid men of this type like the plague and get over it quickly because there are more men who wish to exploit you waiting out there. No offense........
2006-07-09 01:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by pieter U3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you kidding me?
what kind of "gr8" person says he doesn't love the wife he married? What kind of person (he's cheating you know) cheats on his wife that gave him a baby?
Not a very good guy. Plus you met him on the internet, it could all be a lie.
Sorry I didnt tell you what you wanted to hear, but be safe chica.
2006-07-09 01:23:15 · answer #11 · answered by Holly N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋