If we argue and have a fight--"oh honey we might need counseling!" if I don't listen she gives me men are from mars women are from venus. The movie we watch has to go according to her mood and when we watch it she pauses the movie when i say a word in between the movie and says: ok hon, now u can talk. When she meets my latin friends she always asks "so what do you do?" I am not used to any of these things...in my culture we never ask what do you do? or pause the movie to talk (we makes jokes throughout) or counseling or plan trips...we just do it, we don't read books on relationships--we go out salsa dancing PERIOD in all my past relationships with latin women its all about having fun and accepting the person, NOW I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HER because of all these formal rules, I am fed up what should I do?
2006-07-09 00:23:32 · 7 answers · asked by chillwillnumba1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am answering you because I am a in your situation but I am the while girl with a Hispanic male. We have been married for three years and together for five years and are very happy. We had bumps in the road too. I like to plan things so that they go smoothly, he would rather just do them as you would. When I go to parties with him at first I felt really uncomfortable. Asking what they do is not a way to offend anyone it is just an icebreaker, well for it it would be. We have had issues with him being macho and going out and with me being to anal about some things. It is hard don't get me wrong but try to remember that just because it is different does not mean its worng and does not make it bad. It is probably hard for her too. I know it was hard for me when I first got with my husband. To me his family was to loose to spontaneous, his family would come over without calling stuff like that. It is hard for us to just remember that. What you both need to do is sit down and talk about how you feel. The bottom line is if you love eachother you will overcome these differences and they will make you stronger. I hope I helped, if you need any more advice email me at jessabear16@yahoo.com
2006-07-09 02:44:06 · answer #1 · answered by JLO 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are done and need to break up with her. Find someone who understands you and your culture.
What you described aren't rules. I would pause the movie because I don't want to miss what is going on in it and also want to hear what you are saying. Her asking what people do for a living is just a question we ask. It shows interest in your friends. The counseling might be something that gets said alot in her family. We plan trips as well. Some of us just are not spontaneous. We like to know where we are going, how long it is going to take, what kind of money we need to have with us.
What makes you think she isn't accepting you?
2006-07-09 07:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might seem formal to you, but that's just how she was raised. We're all raised differently. Asking what someone does is just a way of starting a conversation... ask about the work they do, their families, etc... The movie thing I can understand, if I get interrupted I pause it or rewind it. Drives me crazy to miss any of it cause then I have to watch it again! As for the other things, she just want to do everything possible to make the relationship work. If you love her then accept who she is, and she should do the same in return. Good luck.
2006-07-09 07:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey hey....wait a while....I'm sorry to say that i'm neither white nor hispanic but i'm taking this previlidgeto answer wat my herat says....
>>My wife and I are are two diff ppl.I knew we were diff from the time we fell into our relationship and many a times we both felt we are not made for each other but ultimately we accept the saying "Watever happens happens for the good"....
>>We both have taken enough pain to tell each other abt our families,their views,their behaviour and made it a point that come wat may we will not allow our cultures to govern our life...
>>I luv her and she loves me.I sacrifice every bit i can and she does the same for me.
My friend ,all i want to say is give her ur piece of mind.I believe it's not a marriage of a day I mean u guys wud have known each other for quite sometime even before marriage so why do u feel all this problem only after marriage???
Do u gurantee that the hispanic who comes to ur life will be a better one...not all hispanics,not all whites are the same...even withing the same culture and ethinicit ppl are diff cos of their background and broughtup....Relax try to improve things, give it ur best so that u never have to say "I wish i tried one last time to make my relationship with....work"....
take it easy and be positive!!!
Cheerios
2006-07-09 07:48:00 · answer #4 · answered by Adi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has something you don't have, structure. there is nothing wrong with what she does or how she grew up. u r breaking up with her because you are afraid of discipline. and i would not put this type of behavior on your entire culture, just say how you grew up.
2006-07-09 08:19:55 · answer #5 · answered by SJ DUB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ned to break up with her lol or get a dog leash for your self
2006-07-09 07:40:19 · answer #6 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off with her. She's not from your "world" and it's getting on your nerves.
2006-07-09 07:28:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋