I used to not give money to smoking beggars because I hate smoking. This was controlling behaviour,yes or no?

Question

I am fortunate enough to be able to give money to everyone I see begging. No, I am not rich; I am a regular working guy and I see lots of beggars, but at one time I used to withhold my generosity if I saw one of them smoking. I came to realize that charity should not be an act of controlling someone's behavior. I either give with a good heart or I don't give at all. I feel much better about my donations now that I am not concerned about what becomes of them. Do you agree?

Answer 1

At first I thought you meant you didn't give the beggar the money because he smoked, and not because he would use the money to smoke some more. But anyways, at least the beggar is fortunate to have someone to beg to. Some people don't even have that. I say, no matter what the beggar does, drop him some change you got from McDonalds and be glad that you're not in his situation or worse. I don't believe you were trying to control him because if you gave him the money or not, he would've gotten it some other way to buy cigarrates with. I think you were thinking why should I give the money I earned to a person who's going to spend it on something that will kill him instead of help him? Hey, you can't control those kinds of things. For all you know, that might have been his last cigarrette and he was planning on saving his money for something else. Maybe even a blanket.

Answer 2

What makes you think charity is controlling behavior? They are still going to smoke whether or not they recieve money from you. And do you think non-smoking beggers use the money you give them only for things like food and toiletries? It is not likely. Most buy drugs and alcohol before considering food and shelter.
Some beggers are total scammers as I have spent time observing and talking with them. One guy acted handicapped while begging at the off ramp of the freeway. But when he was done for the day he limped 1/2 a block, walked normal the rest of the way to an expensive 15 speed bicycle he unlocked, jumped on and rode away.
Another guy I became familiar with told me he took in $150 a day and as much as $600 a day during the holidays.
I earn a little more than minimum wage and I pay taxes. I do not have health insurance and often eat PB &J sandwiches to get through to my next pay check. I still give money to those in need, just not those wearing shoes and clothing that are newer and more expensive than I can afford to buy.
It seems to me the beggers control your behavior more than your imagined control of theirs. If you are concerned with doing good for someone there are single mothers struggling everywhere. Waitresses work harder than most for less pay. Teachers can always use school supplies for the children who's parents can't afford then. Find someone that deserves and appreciates your kindness.
By giving to every non-smoking begger you are supporting destructive behavior in the individual and degradation of the community around you. Not all beggers are con artists, but even the real ones have no incentive to improve thier lives or get off the streets when they get what they want for the asking.
Give with your heart, but use your head when you do.

Answer 3

No. Whether you gave them money or not has no bearing on what they do with it or what they do with their lives. Ignoring a beggar and walking by does not send your anti-smoking message or have any impact on their lives at all because you're just one of hundreds that passed them by without giving anything.

I used to give all the time. Until I was nearly homeless myself and realized how many institutions and charities exist to help, if the beggars want to get help. Most often, and I know this for a fact, they are begging to buy booze, smokes, or more likely drugs. I've had beggars curse me for giving them a burger. So now I give to the charities with either my time or money, and no longer give to the addicts on the street looking for their next fix.

Answer 4

I was curious, that's why I started. I've quit about 3 times and always start back. I just like to smoke, I'm a nurse so I know all the health risks but I ENJOY smoking, and I know it sounds weird. I know it's costly but so is any habit anyone has...do you rent movies? Go out to eat? Go to clubs? Drink coffee? Come on, everything costs. Yes it's an expensive habit, and a HARD habit to break. It's arguable that tobacco is more addictive than heroin. I hate myself for smoking...but when I don't smoke everyone else hates me because I'm a b*tch...hahahaha...

Answer 5

Well not all beggars smoke so I think it's better to be giving your money to the ones that don't or to donate money to a third world country that desperately needs help. That way, you are able to give and not feel bad about not being to help someone and that it won't end up in the wrong hands. It's your money so it's basically your choice who to give it to if you wanted ^^

Answer 6

I both agree and disagree. I could care less about controlling them, and though I'd rather they didn't spend it foolishly, they are the ones who have to live with the consequences of that decision.

But I'm very much against smoking and drinking... I think it's nothing more than stupidity. I'm against being intentionally stupid, really. I don't see how someone can be so insolent as to expect me to believe that my generosity will help them to stay alive when they are clearly wasting what little they have on that kind of junk.

Answer 7

I say "Good for you!" There should be no judgment attached.

I have started doing something a little different in the giving as well... I look each in the eye and tell them to "...help another today in some small way". I will never know, but even if one person takes the time to help one other person, that gift has doubled.

Answer 8

give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime. The problem with beggars is not that they are smoking cigarettes, it is that they either mentally ill or are emotionaly/socially disconnected from society. They need professional help. A buck won't hurt them, but it won't solve the problem either.

Answer 9

No.......... would you give a rope to a suicidal man?
The way I see it.... is that you worked hard for your money, and that gives you the right to see how it is used. A much better way, instead of giving money....... give a food/restaurant gift certificate. Everyone needs food, but not everyone needs booze & cigarettes. If they earn the money on the other hand, and you pay them to work for you, then, your money is no longer yours, and you don't have to worry where it goes. And the guilt is off of your shoulders.
; )

Answer 10

No. You're not controlling them...you're controlling you.
Giving with a good heart doesn't mean you have to supply people with the drug of their choice...just because they ask you for it. Your initial insticts were correct...as you saw the reality of situation....you weren't financing a person's ability to eat...you were financing their ability to get high. The intent of your gift, the purpose of your charity was being circumvented and abused. And you were naturally reluctant to avoid abuse of your generosity. Go with your initial reaction...it was definitely the right one.