i have a step son,but he"s with her grandma,i dont know if i can take the responsibilities of takingcare him

Question

he is my wife"s son on the first marriage,but right know my financial capacity is good for my wife & daugther only for them to have goodlife,im not sure if i can take the responsibilities of takingcare of him,he"s with her grandmother until know,i dont know what to do & regarding he"s my wife"s son too;sometimes i feel guilty of not supporting him,& i im scared of having problems in the family if he"s with us,im not sure of everything,

Answer 1

Tell ur wife all this...let her kno that it's not that u don't like him but that right now ur just not able to provide for more children. but do try. make an effort. im sure ur wife will appreciate that. no doubt. embrace him and love him. so he knows that it's not that u don't like him.

Answer 2

The big question is that why are you just thinking about this now?
When you married her you knew she had a son. You should be his dad now. He needs the love and support of two parents.
When you marry someone you start a new family. I understand your worries. What about the birth father...he should be paying child support. And the woman you married.......does she work?
If he moves in with you and he feels your hesitation,. you might as well end the marriage now. What in the world were you thinking when you got married? And what kind of woman is this who leaves her son with grandma and gets married and has another kid???

Sounds like you and the wife need to stand up to the challenge and do the best you can to have a happy healthy family for the kids.

Answer 3

You shouldn't feel quilty alone. She isn't being a mother to the poor boy! Why hasn't she been living with her own son? She has a bigger problem than you do and YOU BOTH are hurting the boy!!!Your good life can't be good when this boy doesn't have what he needs. He should feel as wanted and as comfortable in your and his mom's home as your daughter!!If you are any kind of a parent you will stretch what you have and do without for yourself to make sure that a child, blood related to your wife,has love and every thing he needs! This is a very selfish posting of yours and I hope you work on your family. The boy will loose his self-esteem if he hasn't already, and will be facing a very disturbed life. You will then be dealing with the law and counselors, etc and they cost a lot and not just in money but your time and emtions!Your child will feel better than him and will treat others that way. She and he need to be loved and disiplined equally by you and your wife! You did'nt mention if the daughter is yours alone or from your current marriage. I am praying that she isn't from this marriage for the son's sake. You have sent this poor child a horrible message.You can't live with us because we can't afford you but we can afford my daughter a good life! Shame on you both! Parents have to be involved more with all of their kids,not show favoritism,discipline daily( which means a routine for the house with rules and consequences that are the same for all in the family and only age can change the differences in consequences!) and you have to bond with them daily to have a relationship that can survive the growing up process and be responsible kids,students, and most important-adults with good morals and values and works responsibly. Please give the boy a chance at a fulfilled life.LOVE him and accept him as you do your daughter. Scrimp, share, and do without extras and even do without necessaties for yourself and wife but make sure the kids have needs and unconditional love in your home! Not to mention that the grandma has already raised her family and just needs to love and spoil grandchildren. She is to be a place for them that is soft and comfy, warming and loving, and a place to have cookies for breakfast if she wants to. The boy will need time to adjust so give him the time.Patience! The first day he moves in the whole family needs to sit down and talk about the rules and consequences and then they will know what is expected of them both and you and your wife. You need to talk to your daughter and let her know that he has a right to live with you and everyone is to accept him because he is family, just a member that has been neglected. They will fight, all bro and sis do, but will eventually get used to the changes and each other. Stick to the rules and no one can claim you are harder on one that the other. Everyone should have chores with consequences also. Rooms,toys picked up, help cleaning, etc and the basic stuff of homework, grades,school behavior, etc. that will have consequences unitl they leave your home and are ready for the world.I can't get over that his mother is not with him! Talk to her and I pray that you both will do your best and if it isn't enough that you get help so that your family will succeed and be happy. I know you are not happy with the boy shoved out, couldnt be.

Answer 4

When you married her, you took the package, now take the responsibility that comes with it. Don't lay it off on his Grandma. That's not fair to the grandma, the step son, or the mom. Your kids with her should know that he is going to be part of the family, and need a little time to deal with it, but they should all be equal once he moves home. Of course I don't know details, but in a perfect world that's how it should be. Good luck, let your heart do the talking, not your overprotectivedaddiemind. I'm one of those, so no offense is meant. Ron Couch

Answer 5

how does your wife feel about you not taking care of her son? When you marry your wife, you know she has a son. You marry her because you love her and want to take care of her, why can't you do the same for her son. Is your wife working? If taking care of her son will cause financial burden for you family, she should also contribute to the family. I feel children should be with their parent not grandparent. I think you should discuss the issue with your wife and daughter and everyone should compromise to resolve this issue.

Answer 6

YOU MADE A LIFE WITH HIS MOTHER, AND YOU KNEW
THAT SHE HAD A SON. HE AND YOUR WIFE HAVE A
RESPOPNSIBILITY TO THIS CHILD ESPCIALLY YOUR WIFE
WHY IS THIS CHILD WITH THE GRANDMOTHER, AND NOT'
WITH HIS MOTHER ON SOME KIND OF BASIC.

Answer 7

yea well shouldnt of married her knowing she had a son. you knowingly took on the responsiblity. so deal with it, and not in a selfish way either. grow up.

Answer 8

When you marry someone with kids, they're a set.

Answer 9

dump him off at a foster home

Answer 10

you can try to apply for food stamps that well really help you