How to make friends with group of people that you don't know, but they all know each other already?

Question

I find myself in this situation too often, and I never know how to deal with it. When I get a new job, go to a party, join an organization, etc., I have a lot of trouble making friends with the people there. How do you make friends as the "new person" with everyone else, who already know each other? It's especially hard because of all of their inside jokes and gossip...

Answer 1

When I find myself in a situation like this I find it's best to simply say little, and listen. At least to begin with, as you get to know the people then you can starting giving your viewpoints, making comments etc. People respond when they find that you remember things, either personally or professionally. If you come across as an intelligent, un-pushy person, people react more favouribly, and if you stick with them long enough, soon you will be "one of the group" and privy to the "inside jokes and gossip" you won't be the newbie forever, you just got to stick with it is all.

In a party situation it is a little more difficult - here I think it's best if you listen more than anything else. Don't talk about or comment on things you don't know about. Try to find a person who shares similar interests to you, common interest is easiest way to overcome strangeness.
And here's a thought to remember, and it can be applied, anywhere, anytime - "Strangers are merely friends you haven't met yet" So get out there, don't be afraid of unknown situations.

You don't know that maybe those "insiders" are unsure of you too, and don't know how to approach you. be friendly, smile (when appropriate) let those people know, subtly, that you want to be friends.

I hope this helps!!!

Answer 2

Focus on one or two people at a time. Ask them about themselves. When they answer, listen. Look them in the eye. Some people are approachable and some are not. If you find that a person is unresponsive and doesn't want to spend the time getting to know you, then go to the next person. When you break into the group through a few people, others that may have felt hesitant may open up more. Just be very interested in them. It is hard for them too. Most people are a little tentative with new people. It isn't just hard for you. They feel comfortable in their group and a new person might reject them or cause a change or split in the group. It is hard to do but you can do it. Just remember you aren't the only one that finds this hard. We all go thru this in new situations.

Answer 3

I so know what you're talking about. All my friends now have known each other from highschool or even before that. What you can do is not think of it as a big "group" of people, but as separate individuals. You should try to get to know one person at a time. Hang out with them a lot. And eventually, they'll get used to you being there, and vice versa, and they'll see you as part of their group. Hope that helps!

Answer 4

i'm guessing your a freshman between different freshman who're new to the completed college ingredient? Any who... no matter if you comprehend it or no longer different scholars are dealing with an similar ingredient. better than in all probability, socializing circumstances will particularly ensue out of your administration due on your professor who ought to have you ever and one or 2 different scholars chop up off in communities. to communicate a topic and modern theories to the kind. bear in mind one ingredient, in college you'd be fortunate adequate in case you get to attraction to close a million/8 of the students there. college is lots higher than extreme college and there are a form of human beings from throughout that adjust in age attending college.

Answer 5

it's going to take time. best thing you can do is hang out with the group as often as you can, get to know them and not think about how you are the new person because in a few months you won't be the new person. In a few years, they won't remember that you came into the group later =o)

Answer 6

Just Start A Conversation to Break The Ice

Answer 7

Work on it one person at a time, I found myself in many new work environment, i don't think of it the way you have but it was a large group of people that knew each other for sometime 50+ people.

You just need to be genuine, one on one. I didn't try to befriend everyone but over time we all were friendly, there was one lady that was just AWFUL on her high horse, "who's in charge of printing"... type of person. But in the end she actually apologized for her behavior and we got along when I never thought we would.

I think if you "try" people will resent and reject you for that reason. Weird but true.

Answer 8

when u came in this world u were alone;we were in between a group of people who already knew each other...then what u did at that time?u did nothing....Ur mom did everything for u .....so find a mom there; try to b intimate with that one,always keep Ur self in touch with him.....of cs with Ur talents.believe me, u have something exceptional.we all have.....now 1st find it then focus on it-but don't showoff OK,it will be more dangerous!try to be simple,good&supportive-a frnd always need a frnd's spprt.in case of JOB-it's good prformance
PARTY-it's good smile
ORG-it's good words
these r the magnets.
don't go after people,do something so that they will follow u....GOOD IDEAS:GOOD PROPOSALS & GOOD JOKES R VERY EFFECTIVE.

Answer 9

Hate to say it but you really cant... There will always be this notion of you being a blow-in. Also if there is any chatter you will always be worried that it is about you. The best thing to do for yourself is be friendly and avoid the gossipy chit chat - they will be testing you out to see if you will take sides etc... Just go with the flow and remain relatively oblivious to them and their chit chat. Keep some of yourself to yourself...

Answer 10

Talk to one of the ppl in the group, soon, that person will invite u to join their group