wHY ARE WOMEN LETTING BABYSITTERS AND DAY CARE WORKERS RAISE THEIR CHILDREN? MATERIAL THINGS MORE IMPORTANT?

Question

Times have changed and so have the children growing up. Have you noticed?

Yes it takes two incomes for the $500,000 home, 2 new cars, boats, plus you need credit cards to have everything else you need this week.

I know it takes a lot to live and there are bad men, but does it bother you that your kids see you a couple hrs in the evening and the babysitter raises them? some women use that aS an excuse. They need the finest in life, but you will need that money to pay your kids lawyer fees in the future.

you do know that if women stayed home the men's salries would sky rocket because of the demand?

Answer 1

~~sometimes it's not really out of choice but out of necessity, some of them work because their children have dead-beat dads that don't give a rip about their children... some of them work because the daddy died and they want a better life for their children that that of a welfare bratt,

isn't it better for them to work, and put a roof over their heads and food in their tummy and diapers on their bottoms than to allow their children to do without?

In response to your comment… Some women use that as an excuse… yes, some do, but the majority of them are not using it as an excuse… the majority of them are working to survive… and in response to your comment on … if women stayed home the men's salaries would sky rocket because of the demand… this is NOT true… there are many jobs out there that men don’t want and wouldn’t do if their life depended on it… also there are women out there in the workforce that are single by choice… they also NEED to work to survive.

Not all working mothers are working to have the $500,000 home with 2 cars, boats and credit cards. Bottom line is… if more men were responsible, and didn’t produce children that they don’t want to take care of there wouldn’t be so many working mothers out there.

Another note… not all the credit card bills are made by women either… they say the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!~~

Answer 2

That depends. Women that are single mothers do not have much of a choice. I bet if you asked them what they preferred to do, the majority of them would much rather stay at home with their children. Then there are married women that, even though they have working husbands, one income alone still can't pay the rent. This has happened, and it still does happen, and it takes two incomes just to stay afloat.

Then there are women who could easily NOT work, yet they choose to anways. This is their choice, yet I do not agree with it at all. When my kid was born I knew right away that I couldn't bear to put her into a daycare all day. I am not judging women that do, and neither should you, but that is their choice to work, just as it was my choice to stay home. Some mothers also make better mothers if they get out and work everyday. Other mothers are at their best around their children all day. While I would like more women to stay home with their young children, it's not my business or anyones elses what that mother does with her life and her family's, unless there is some sort of abuse or neglect going on. Oh yeah, one last thing. There are WAY too many women that care more for the new cars and fancy houses...thus the reason they still work. That's digusting to me, but to each their own.

Answer 3

Well if it is a single woman, they may have no choice if there is little or no family support. It is to me though, if there is a husband and wife/father and mother involved that kids, babies are being put into day care so young. I think that it is a sad commentary on our lives here. That it has become so unimportant to see that raising your children, whether it be mother or father, to be caring, thoughtful, healthy, Christian, adults one day is the hardest job on this Earth!!! I know my husband and I have sacrificied a lot for me to be home with our 3 kids, but we know in our hearts, it is the best choice for us and we feel Blessed that we have been able to do it. It is so expensive to live many places, needing a dual income, don't think this is how it was all intended to be, but it's what has happened. I also think that to a degree that feminism helped women in general, it also took away the structure of the family, the stability, home life, love and nurturing that comes natural. There were natural structure beforehand. Kids also had no idea of so many material things that surround them now. They went out and played, had fun, made up games, rode their bikes all day, etc. What happened to that too? I agree with you that nobody but a loving parent needs to be there for their children, there is no replacing that and I don't care how good the daycare or babysitters are!!!! It's to me, a part of the breakdown of the American family,,,,,,,,and to that our society in general. So what can we do? How do things change? I can only pray for us all, it is larger than life, can't change others, just myself. Yes, in reaction to your additional commenets, times have changed, people have changed, and it isn't all for the best especially when it is to acquire material possessions yet it is placing so much stress on people and for what? What happens? The children are lost in the midst of it! I couldn't live with myself, my own life, if we didn't make the time, take the time for our kids, they are Gifts, and they need that solid foundation layed down for them.

Answer 4

Let me tell you a brief story before I respond to the importance of material things:

Our home is worth $160,000 and we have three autos (one is paid-in-full and being fixed-up either to save for our daughter or to sell . . . haven't decided yet). I was working nights and my husband currently works days so we could avoid childcare costs (I had to quit my job due to injuries sustained in a car accident). Due to the price of gas, I was working in retail about five minutes from home while he works in IS 45 minutes away.

He lost his job right after our youngest son was born (which was also two days before my mother-in-law died) and took the first job he could find which resulted in a $12,000/year pay cut. We have three children still living at home and they need things such as clothes, shoes, food, medication when they are sick, etc.

We are waiting to settle on the car accident (rear-ended on the highway by a drunk driver) as well as a malpractice suit from when our youngest was born (surgeon cut an artery during an emergency c-section), but I still need to see a specialist for documentation to start the malpractice suit and, oh yeah, when he took the lower paying job, we lost our insurance and insurance at the new job is too expensive.

I would go back to secretarial work in a heartbeat if I knew it would help and yes that means putting the younger kids in daycare, but with the price of childcare ($300/week for two), the price of gas and the likelihood of finding anything paying over $10/hour (if I'm lucky) makes this very unrealistic.

Now my response:

Families are just trying to get by the best they can and working two, three, even four jobs may be the only way to achieve it. Unfortunately, this is no longer a society that values familes and with the urban sprawl that is affecting the entire country, people are moving away from where they were raised and don't have family members to help with raising children.

Material things are not more important than family. Having the basic necessities of life are. Sometimes you have to make sacrifies that you really don't want to make just to get by.

Answer 5

In today's society the prices of things are so high this may force a women to work. Otherwise yes people tend to have big appetite's for life and are very materialistic. That's what the difference between a Mother and a Mom is
Mothers are self absorbed and it's all about the career, but on the same breath they have to put on a show for people.
Moms are great they work part time around the childs schedule not living above her means.

Answer 6

I don't agree with it personaly but a lot of people don't have a choice. I am organising work from home 'part time' because there is a 4 hour gap that needs to be filled now that my kids are 9 and 10 and their father earns plenty without me working fulltime. We are lucky that one of us is able to be there for the kids before and after school. But....There are a lot of single parents out there!....They definatley DONT have a choice and should get a pat on the back for the hard work they are doing providing a good home for their kids with unavoidable sacrifices. I don't think both parents should work if they can avoid it because sadly the motivation behind both parents working is 'material' .....but again everyones circumstances are different.

Answer 7

Don't shout. Sometimes it takes two incomes (husband and wife) in order to make ends meet. A single woman probably has to work just to pay rent and provide groceries. I don't think women having to work and needing help to watch or take care of their children has anything to do with being materialistic. A day care worker or babysitter may help the mom but does not necessarily "raise" the child.

Answer 8

Many places in the United States its too expensive to provide basic necesities on one income.

Basic necisities for a working family:
Shelter
Food
Clothing
Transportation
Utilities

I know for a fact that its impossible most places in Los Angeles, New York, or San Francisco because of the incredibly high costs of these things. That is of course, unless the one income is a lot. However, higher paying jobs are fewer and harder to get as our world heads into the future.

Answer 9

Why do complete strangers judge people they do not know? You have no idea why women do what they do. And to suggest that material things are more important is ludicrous.

7/11/06 I came back to read more of the responses. I'm floor at how people are putting down working moms. You people have no clue do you? What works for you, may or may not work for someone else. THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM A BAD MOTHER! Their kids love them just as much as your kids love you.

Answer 10

Why don't men stay at home and raise them instead? Its not that we are giving up the raising of our kids, we are allowing them to learn social skills by letting them go to daycare while we HAVE to go to work because we actually have a mortgage to pay and we know we can do more than just being identified as some kid's mom. We are more than that and some of us have our own lives and choose not to live them through our children. Our children aren't getting RAISED by anyone but us. they just have basic rules and teach our kids how to right thier name. But its the parents that give warmth and love and nurture the children.