My boyfriend & I have been together for a while & live together. I will sometimes be on his computer & see that he has been to porn sites. This really irritates me cause I feel like I must not be good enough for him or I must not satisfy his needs enough if he is going to other sources. Is this worng of me to not want him to look @ porn on a frequent basis? Why do guys look @ porn when they already have a significant other? I know all guys look at it but what is it about porn that drives the guys too it...PLEASE HELP me UNDERSTAND this addiction...!
2006-07-08 19:27:38 · 12 answers · asked by lucky1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get over yourself and leave the poor guy ALONE.
2006-07-08 19:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me when I tell you that I feel your pain. We live in a world filled with pictures of beautiful thin women who make us feel that we have to look similar to be beautiful. Then we have the porn industry, which I must admit, that my significant other and I watch together from time to time. It still doesn't do much in terms of boosting self-esteem; however, it can be erotic if the mood and moment is right.
I too am in a relationship in which I allow myself to feel "not good enough". The emotional and possibly physical cheating went much deeper than what you have explained. It is hurtful and degrading. The fact of the matter is, men are visual beings and women are more in touch with emotional aspects. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself or feel you are not fulfilling his needs. If you weren't, he wouldn't be with you. You would be shocked at the number of men that engage in these activities. You are not alone.
If you are unable to get past this and and feel as though the trust in your relationship has deteriorated, you need to confront him and seek counseling if you think it help to repair the hurt. Once you lose trust, the relationship turns into an emotional roller coaster and can consume to much of your precious energy and enjoyment.
Please don't forget that his porn watching does not mean that he does not love you or respect you. Men are just, for lack of a better word, pigs.
If you think the problem is way out of hand, there are a lot of books on sex addiction and he should consider therapy. The problem may stem from a severe insecurity of his or a very hurtful period in his life that he may not even identify with. Sex is like any other addiction that our society is faced with. It took me a long time to believe. I thought that if he had to choose between me and his secrets, he would give up his Internet obsession. It took a lot of therapy and work for him to get where he is today.
Good luck and don't give up hope.
2006-07-08 19:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by Kitt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if you were the hottest and most loving women alive, he would probably still look at porn. Men don't see love and sex as the same thing, women do. It's just the way we're built. Don't take this personally.
Porn is just enticing to the male brain . . . in the same way that women like to have 100 pairs of shoes, go shopping, and eat ice cream. It's just a gender difference.
The best thing you can do is to tell him that you don't like it while also try to be sexually available to him (assuming you're active). The more he correlates sex with the love of his life, the better for the both of you.
2006-07-08 19:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just like you said its an addiction try to be understanding you give him what he wants he just curious maybe if you open up a little it wont be a secret and you both can look together and maybe spark some other interests. Speaking from experience if you don't flip out and try to be involved he wont hide things from and he will be more open wit you Good Luck in all you do and remember love yourself, if you are uncomfortable with the situation then remove yourself from it.
2006-07-08 19:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by kathy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What the **** is wrong with him?!?!? You're more important than porn sites!! Plus I too don't understand Why guys love porn, but it's not right!!!!
2015-04-04 23:20:17 · answer #5 · answered by Marisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. A man has a natural urge to see the forbidden and in the day and age he can feast his eyes on whatever he wants unless it is illegal. It has nothing to do with you, in fact join in if you want. Looking at pics and love are separate. Welcome to reality.
Maybe you can make him stop, set up a spy system and catch him and call him a lying freak every time he does it, really shame him. Then you can be the wife he always knew he would get. Or relax.
2006-07-08 19:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Janet F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think it is because your man is not getting what he wants from you, you may want to try other things or places, spice things up a bit, check the kinds of things he has been looking at and do these things with him, you may have to open your mind a little to some things you may find odd, but it will get him coming to you insted of his computer or maybe someone down the street.
2006-07-08 19:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by citisat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, regardless of the situation - we all got hormones and I think you should watch it together. Correct me if I am wrong but I think a couple should enjoy it all together and not be selfish. If he watches porn alone then that is selfish because he has you and you should watch it and be pleasured together.
2006-07-09 14:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think maybe he thinking that he wish that was you or u could do the same.but my man don't look at those but hes 15 and am 13 we Ben together 4 like when i was 11 but if he do then come what can i do all mans does that.
2006-07-08 19:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by brownbossyangle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can install a porn filter software like NetDog on the computer,that help you to block all porn websites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.netdogsoft.com
2006-07-08 22:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well think abt it this way:
would u let him hogtie u
would u let him get his friend and gangbang u
would u let him *** in throught
would u would u....
thats it every one has fantasy likes stuff not to do but just to enjoy by watching it he wont ask u for t cuz he would not like u to think he use u as a wH0re but thats normal its not u someguys got it alot and they r sick abt it but some r just havin lil fun thats all! dun worry ur doing good :P
2006-07-08 19:34:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋