What the heck is wrong with me?

Question

Alright so for some reason or another I can't seem to relate to the people I work with...I used to be able to, when I first started (I've had the job for 2 years) I'm friends with everyone I work with no problems nothing...yet when I sit down with them after work it just feels like I can't talk, I clam up and its like I forget how to talk or even know what to talk about and I end up looking like I'm anti-social. I have a brain what the heck is holding me back! I'm really frustraited like I said because its getting worse. I just got promoted and I'm still getting used to the position I have now working with different people...whom mind you, I already know. I've just completely been taken out of my comfort zone I suppose. I just feel so uneducated and intimidated (I know I'm only making myself look bad) really their is no reason to...I'm just really worried of screwing up and in turn I screw up! Vicious cycle, can someone give me some advice on what to do because I'm lost..

Answer 1

doesn't sound like much is wrong with you dear.
it sounds like you are going through a period of growth. ewwwww...
and yes, i do mean mental and emotional growth, not like your limbs are getting longer.

and that is just what it is, a period in which you will have to adjust to your new found "height" rise to meet it. do not give up on yourself and you will be just fine.
stick with the winners at your company, don't ride coat tails, but do watch, listen and learn from the best.

Answer 2

It sounds like your brain is getting in your way! I am guessing your thoughts and feelings about speaking to these people are making the situation worse, not better. If this continues for too long, you might start avoiding situations that could help you in the long run, because you're afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I would suggest you possibly meet with a therapist. Anxiety in social situations is common, but you should talk to a professional before the "vicious cycle," as you put it, leads you to a social phobia. A therapist trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) should be able to help you. CBT allows us to work through thoughts and feelings that are not helpful to our overall well-being. You and a professional can examine these thoughts, determine where they are coming from, and figure out how to stop them.

If you'd rather not talk to someone, check out some books on or look on the Internet for ways to deal with social anxiety and social phobias. You might find some suggestions there.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Firstly- Congrats on the promotion! Look, the easiest and most affective solution i can give you is to think of relative topics you can talk about with your co-workers. And i don't just mean work issues, but other stuff, too! Shopping? Good/bad places to eat out? Nagging parents? Children issues? Interesting stories? You could also share some funny accidents that have happened to you if a relative topic comes up. To be more prepared, think about this right now. What relative hobbies do you have with people you work with? Clients? Even just asking for work tips will do fine. Now you're preparing so you can consider carefully what to say and what not to. But after a few planned conversations, it will eventually come out naturally and you won't have to plan a thing- i can guarantee you that!
Hope I helped! ;)
xxx

Answer 4

I think that over those 2 years you have developed too many emotions and opinions about these people that has left you with an inferiority complex.
You could be on the cusp of depression. It sneaks up on people sometimes when they are at the peak of success. With you just getting a promotion, I am suspecting that this might be the case. If it is then nip it in the bud as wisely as you can and without any bad vices.
Take care and God bless!!!

Answer 5

That is a lot of pressure. Relax and find a way to assume the role you've been given. It's tough to begin with, I know. Don't get down on yourself or thing can only get worse. It certainly doesn't require an impressive education to be good at something. Hold your head up and get down to business. You can do it. Someone thought you could or you wouldn't have gotten the promotion. Tell your associates that you are unfamiliar with the new situation, but assure them that you will take charge in short order. Ask them to bear with you as you assimilate.

Answer 6

You said that you just got promoted.......and you feel uneducated,uncomfortable etc......is it that maybe you fear that people may think that you didn't deserve the promotion? You need to just relax and be yourself. You wouldn't have been promoted if you didn't belong in that position.....Be careful about clamming up when you go out after work cuz it may look like you are becoming too good for them......Talk to the people that you work with about how you feel...if you can.......even just one person......cuz then when your not there and someone says something like "whats her prob, does she think shes too good for us" the other person will say what you need to say but cant....

Answer 7

With the new position comes new and more responsibility (I assume). Being mentally tired and unable to communicate isn't that strange. Sometimes after a long day I have difficulty talking to anyone, words just don't come out right. It's doesn't mean you're uneducated, it just means you've been working your brain at one specific thing for a long time that doesn't involve talking and you need time to re-adjust.
Talk some time and gather yourself; clear your head.

Answer 8

Get some outside friends to hang with and talk about anything with.
You need people who are outside of work so as not to have conflicts about saying the wrong thing or giving the wrong impression.
See this..you go out with people from other lines of work, people you don't work with, you have fun, you then go out with your co-workers like you do now and well what do you know....you have some new stories to tell and they have nothing to do with anyone at work.
Do not mix the two groups together....ever!
this way you can have your cake and eat it too.

Answer 9

Try some anti-anxiety medication, and take it when you need it;
like when you are going out. They just take the edge of. And try to say something and just be agreeable. People hate confrontations, and they would Rather have someone who will lie to them, then to be honest. play their game.
I do feel for you. I had the same problem when I first moved to USA, At that time medication helped me. Ask your doctor, they give it without a fuss. Good luck.

Answer 10

u just need to believe in yourself.
remember all things are possible with god.
pray, ask god to help you.
you're going thru a fear of failing, a fear of failure.
think positive.
you're also intimidated by others now. just be yourself. hold your head up high & know that if they didn't think you could do this job, you wouldn't of gotten it.
you also feel that people are looking at you differently, maybe talking about u. but do your job w/confidence. u don't need to try & please everyone now.
don't worry about what people think & say about u, cuz talk is cheap.
yes, you're out of your comfort zone, learning new ways, job duties etc....
be the leader that u should be.
remember: we're all human & we all make mistakes. no one is perfect, so u need to stop trying to be.
i think you're trying to hard to be perfect, so u don't show weakness, & that you don't want to make any mistakes. but if u do, oh well. get up, dust your feet off, learn from your mistake(s).
we all make them, we're human.
you'll be just fine. do your best, don't try so hard to be perfect.
think positive not negitive, & don't try to hard.
it's all new, it'll all come to u. just wait & see.
you're never going to please everyone. trust me, i know

Answer 11

Perhaps you've just realized that while you get along with the people you work with, there aren't many interests that you share in common. This is perfectly normal.

I would suggest trying a few new hobbies, and finding things you enjoy talking about with people who can relate to you.