Should I be mad at my child's father?

Question

My child's father and I have been messing with each other off and on for two years. During the time when I conceived we were off and now he is saying that he doesn't think the baby is his but when I told him that we could get a paternity test he said he didn't need one. He keeps going back and forth with his opinion how should I feel and don't I have a right to be mad and not speaking to him?

Remember I am only 10 weeks pregnant.

Answer 1

I would just tell him FINE if you don't think the baby is yours, then okay.... I wouldn't talk to him and I would be mad as hell.....
I was kinda in the same situation.....but now I am with a man who really cares about my little girl and if he is going to be like that, then the hell with him!!! Get you a man that's gonna treat you right and be with you b/c if you know 100% that that baby is his, and he doubts it, then just go on without him....don't tell him when the baby is born and just concentrate on you, your baby, and if you feel up to it, another man.....later, he will see and realize what he has missed and regret it....
so you go girl and good luck!!!!

Answer 2

Mad about what? A man can never be sure about rather a child is his or not. He probably doesn't want to offend you by asking for the test, but inside he really wants it, which is why he is flip flopping. He has a right to be just as sure as you are. How can a person be 100% sure about the actions of another person? They can't, which is why you get a DNA test.

Anywho, you should get the test for all of your sake, no matter what he says. If he doesn't want to know the results, don't tell him, but he will. First of all, getting the test will clear up any question in his mind, which is absolutely necessary for most people. Would you raise a child that wasn't yours unknowingly? Probably not. For the child's sake, there should be no question who his parents are, and neither of his parents should be unsure in order to form a secure bond with the child. For you, since you are having sex with a man that isn't commited to you, should you need to one day file for support because he decides he doesn't want to pay anymore, you will need a legal paternity test anyway. Might as well get the drama out of the way while your baby is still a baby.

None of this should anger either of you, you both presumably made all of the choices you wanted to and these are simply the normal results.

Answer 3

You certainly have a right to be mad. You are trying to rectify the situation by finally getting an answer to a problem that seems to be provoking fights. But you have to see it his way. He is probably scared that he will find out the kids not his. His thoughts are that if its not proven then he cant get hurt by the truth. The thing is is that he seems to be going back and forth just to hurt you. Like saying its not his just to start a fight if hes mad. Sit down and talk. Tell him it has to be done unless hes willing to accept being the father without the knowledge. The condition of that being that it doesn't matter who the paternal father is as long as he love your children and the subject isn't brought up again. I hope you can resolve this situation for yourself as well as the kids involved. Good luck.

Answer 4

Take him to court and MAKE him get a paternity test. Or call the Maury Show, he'll help you out for free. He does paternity tests on there all the time. But make sure that you get extra copies of the report proving he's the father so you can get the child support you're entitled to. It's his baby too and he needs to wise up and take care of him/her.

Answer 5

I would tell him, whether he wants one or not, that you're getting a paternity test done. That way he can't keep playing games with you about your unborn child. He could turn around and pull the same thing when the baby is born but then he could decide not to care for the baby or provide for it. I would do the paternity test to prove it to him that way he can't use that against you.

Answer 6

Actually you should be mad at yourself. Mad at him? Yes if he is the only one you ever screwed. I doubt that would be the case. nevertheless have the test done and make all your partners participate. That way you will find the father. And when you do make the son of a ***** pay pay pay. Or jail jail jail.

Next, move to another part of the country. Find someone who is decent and caring. Tell him your husband, Husband????? got killed while defending a 92 year old lady. There is always a sucker who will take the bait. Then you can proceed to ruin his life as you have yours. Congratulations!!!!!!!

Answer 7

you should be mad because, frankly, he's using you for comfort whenever its convenient for him. Dont let him use him. Take him to court for a test and if it is his they will put him on child support so you can have more stability. Then he MIGHT think about what hes doing. You are doing the right thing for you and your child's sake. You dont want your child dealing with a father who is a father when it is convenient for him. Your decision is a very brave one and is a decision that most women have a hard time making.

Answer 8

the first thing that you should do is STOP messing around with him, you need to act like a WOMAN and not like a bootie call to this boy... Give yourself some respect and now that you are going to be a mother, GROW UP and start acting like a MOTHER first and then a real WOMAN... Any woman could be a baby carrier but if you decided to get pregnant, then start acting like more than that... Tell him, to do whatever he wants and that when the time comes only time will tell the truth therefore, until then, you do not have to have any communication until after your child is born!!!!! Stick to your guns and do not back down...

Answer 9

You have a right to be mad at him, it's understandable.

However, not speaking to him will not solve anything.

If you really MUST know, you can get a court to order a paternity test, although i imagine that may be more effort than you care to go through.

Answer 10

Tell him that you are not letting him do this to you or your child if he cares about either of you then he will do the test and get it over with. Do not let him keep doing this one day your kid will be really messed up if he keeps flip flopping like this....IF he will not do it then I would tell him see you in court and stop talking to him till after you have it done legally....

Answer 11

You have a reason to be upset. But so does he. I would demand a paternity test. If he refuses, take him to court and demand it. Your child deserves the right to know if for no other reason, so he/she can have a family medical history.