I saw that 'someone' had been on eHarmony on my PC (www.eHarmony was logged on the Explorer address drop-down menu). I went to the website, went to the login page, started typing my boyfriends' email address...and it populated his email address automatically. I was crushed. I confonted him via phone and he blew up. Several weeks later, via text, he said that he 'may' love me..not sure...he's sorting things out. It's been a month now...we've met up 3x to 'catch up' but neither of us can seem to bring up what's happened. My heart feels sunken. My mind says that I should leave and move on. My heart feels otherwise. I saw him this past Thurs eve...we went out for drinks and caught up. When we were saying goodbye he hugged me tight and put his head on top of my head. I'm torn. Please be kind with your responses...please.
2006-07-08 17:52:46 · 25 answers · asked by Secret Blonde 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
XXXXXXXXX I'd get a new boyfriend XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-08 17:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for the situation that you are in. Its not easy when you realize, the one you love, has stopped or doesn't love you as much. There is this part of you that won't belive it, this part of you, that can't understand, and if you look at the past few months, there is a part of you that somehow knew. Talking about the problem with him might help you get some sort of closer, but its very hard to stay friends with somone like this. There is too much pain, and makes it harder to move on. I'd talke about it and move on. Sever the ties...Realisticaly not many can be friends after something like this has happend. I've been there... Good luck. Nothing I say will fix things, and it wont make them better, just know from someone who's been there before, that my heart goes out to you, and I wish you the courage to do what is right for you. Take care
Lynda
2006-07-08 18:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by lynda_Luv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hang on to the past. Your heart holds your past and your head holds the future. Where you go depends on where you want to be.
Listen, NO ONE will take care of you better than you will. If he is looking elsewhere, then I'd do my best to move on. Losing a relationship after that long is hard. I know, pretty much the same thing happened to me. I wanted to hold on but he wasn't sure any more. Please try to think of yourself and your feelings. I wouldn't see him for a while. Seeing him is probably doing more harm to your heart than any good. Give yourself time to sort things out without him around. Don't wait for him to make up your mind or make a move. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. He's broken your trust by not being honest with his feelings from the beginning. If you're torn then its best to leave the relationship, as hard as that will be. It took me a year to be completely ok with my loss. Just be strong and look to your friends and family to help you. No matter what, if they are true friends, they will have your best interests at heart. Personally though I would save yourself the anguish and leave the relationship in your heart and in the past.
Good luck
2006-07-08 18:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks, but it sounds like you could do better than your bf. The eharmony thing is one thing, personally i don't think that's very bad (sounds like a typical stupid guy thing to do). However, the whole "i 'think' i love you" thing makes him sound really indecisive/insecure. If after 2 1/2 years he hasn't made up his mind, i think it might be time for you both to move on. Also, it doesn't sound like there's alot of intimacy in the relationship (you guys hugged and he put his head on top of your head? i mean, that's sweet, but ...) Breakups suck, i know. That broken heart feeling just doesn't seem to want to go away, but it does eventually. My suggestion would be to dump him and move on (but not because of the eharmony thing). Good luck.
2006-07-08 18:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by davebs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that I can say is to go with your instincts. Don't over think the situation. If you gut tells you to give it a another shot, than proceed with caution. If it tells you to move on, that maybe you should consider that as well. Remember, your heart doesn't want to see you get hurt. It can be one of your best friends in a situation like this, even if its broken.
2006-07-12 20:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Why_so_serious? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a loser that was looking for someone else because you weren't good enough for HIM. Another words, loser behaviour.
Don't worry and move on. Seriously, if after 2 years he only 'may' love you, 2 years might as well be 100. I KNOW there are many nice men who never get a fair chance because jerks like your BF give all men a bad name.
2006-07-08 17:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you realize one thing. why he treated you such a manner that make you sad or unhappy? this sympton is enough showing that his attention is deviated. for what reason i cant tell you until you ask the truth from him. communicating is important to get the truth. you will not happy if you don't know what make his attention deviated. maybe he is facing problem or maybe he start to like other. but stop guessing .. it is suffering to guess. ask him if you want to solve the problem faster. prepare yourself no matter what he will tell you. you are seeking true love and no body know when you will meet it whether in present or future? but believe it, when you are happy, you will found true love any time.
2006-07-09 19:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's looking to replace you or play you...I've been there with my bf. He has done the same thing. I just confronted him. I'd tell you to leave him, but I didn't leave mine. Sometimes I believe I should have, but than we have a good bond now. If its gonna linger on you and you still feel hurt...Leave...don't hold on because in the end things can become even uglier and you'll wish you never have stayed. Please take my word for it.
2006-07-22 05:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by missbehave252002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok listen guys are guys sometimes we do things like that either because we are so stupid or curious to look around because we feel insecure sometimes that doesnt means he doesnt love u or has feelings for u he is probably confused dont preesure him give him time to clear things out and u will figured it out at the end
2006-07-08 18:01:54 · answer #9 · answered by james 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will try to be as kind as possible. It sounds as though your boyfriend really wants to move on, but he feels guilty about hurting you. He is trying to "let you down easy" by seeing you occasionally and going out to catch up with you. Let him go gracefully. You'll save some dignity and a lot of hurt.
2006-07-08 17:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by RaeRae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It best to move on, there's no point of waitng on him and he did you wrong by going online and tring to find someone else. It depends on how much you trust him. Do you think it's worth it to stay in the realtionship? he might have not even changed yet. i think you deserve better
2006-07-08 18:09:53 · answer #11 · answered by Giggles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋