alcoholic boyfriend?

Question

I left my boyfriend 2 months ago because he is an alcoholic. He tracked me down a couple of weeks ago through my parents and wanted me to call him. I meet with him and he said he would not drink for a year if we got back together. I have been with him now for 2 weeks and he is starting to drink again. He said that he doesn't want to stick to his promise but wants me to stay with him. I know that the answer is to leave again but I love him and I know that people are stupuid when they use that as a reason to stay. I guess my question is should I give him another chance.

Answer 1

I realize you love him, but alchoholics will cause a lot of heartache and sorrow. There could be cheating involved. You will become responsible for him, he may go on violent rampages, there are a lot of bad things involved with alchoholism. He does have a problem because he could not even keep his word and he doesn't want to.
Alcoholism is a serious issue and it leads to heartache and sorrow . Alcoholics love their liquor more than they do their loved ones and themselves. They become hostile if they don't have their liquor. It's not a pretty thing. You need to think about yourself and the consequences. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM!! HE HAS TO WANT TO CHANGE!! My suggestion to you is to leave him until he starts going to rehab courses and getting help.

Look, it sounds harsh, but it's reality. You will end up dragging yourself down, it will lead to low self esteem and everything else and it's not pretty and a person deserves better.

I can talk all I want . The choice is yours, but please think about it.

Answer 2

I grew up with an alcoholic father and it was not a fun experience..My father was abusive physically, verbally and mentally. I know that its hard to just leave and have no ties at all when you love someone...you always feel like there is something you can do to help or if you just wait a few more weeks things will change.. you will just go through this cycle for the rest of your life if you stay with this guy. If he doesn't love himself enough to get help for his addiction how can he love you. I would really consider if this is the way you want to live your life...There is probably somebody out there that is perfect for you...Good Luck!

Answer 3

The best thing for him would to give him an ultimatem. He nees support if he is going to quit his drinking. Id reccomend an intervention sort of thing. Look around at local rehab centers or alcohol anonymous groups. Tell him, if he does not attend meetings, rehab, or therapy that you guys are over. MOre than likely, he won't go at first. But he will need you to promise him you will be there for him through the therapy. They even have couples therapy for relationships with a partner that is alcoholic. He may be more likely to seek help, if you join him in the therapy. IF he doesn't go for it, or quits then leave. Only one chance, or he won't stick with it. If he does return to therapy after the "break up" give him that second chance. But make sure he completes it. Best advice is to stick by his side unless he refuses help. Encourage him, and don't give up. While in therapy he will slip a couple of times, but as long as he is still in therapy, don't leave. Times are going to get hard, and you will get frustrated. His frustration will be far greater. You need to be strong for him. Y'all will get through this.

Answer 4

Don't worry about what other people think. If your boyfriend has a drinking problem he needs to get help. It may take some time but in the end he will thank you if you can get him to check in for treatment or if you can get him to quit on his own. Alcohol always starts out as a cool habit and most of the time it ends in a self destructive pattern which could leave you in a world of sorrow and regret.

Answer 5

Walk out on him and then tell him when he can prove to you, that you mean more to him than the booze, then call you but not until then. And I mean for more than a week or two!! More like a few months, if he really does love you enough, he will change his ways, I promise you. If he don't change and stay changed, you haven't lost a thing except for hard aches down the road with him.

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to take care of yourself and ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with an active alcoholic and all that goes with that. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who respects himself and cares enough about the both of you to get help. Maybe if he stayed sober for a year then you could consider a reconciliation. Try Al-anon. Been there...it helps. Good Luck

Answer 7

I have once been that man who was an alcholic and I had lost the woman of my dreams because of it. I would have to say that you have to give him the unltimatum. I was givin that and I gave up the juice to be with that woman of my dreams, things got better bettween us and we are now married. Giving up drinking for the woman of my dreams was the best thing I could have ever done. So on the other hand once again GIVE THE ULTIMATUM if he doesnt want to stick to it kick him to the curb, you will then find out how important you are to him. Good luck.

Answer 8

You LL only find out if he will stop drinking to keep you if you split up with him.
Also he LL never stop without help from professionals. If you are British send him to the local nhs drug and alcohol team.

Answer 9

If you have already told him that you wouldn't be with him if he drank and he reneged on his promise to you, what's the point of staying????? Alcoholism is a serious disease, but one that can be treated......He has to LOVE HIMSELF enough to stop drinking, and there's nothing you can do or say to stop him.....Take care of YOURSELF....You can't save him from something he doesn't want to be saved from.......take care, honey......

Answer 10

You did give him another chance when you got back together with him. He blew it. So if you are asking if you should give him a third chance, then the answer is no.