He says he loves me and he wants to be with me, but he's afraid his children will hate him and he's afraid to leave his wife for they have been married for almost 26 years and he doesn't want to leave her to fend for herself and the youngest child 16. I know thats excuses, but he would be stepping into the unknown with me being 28 years old and the mother of 3 young children ranging in ages from 2 to 9.I love him and I'm prepared to wait or should I? I'm raising my children and I have no time for men right now or even for a few years so in the mean time I'm going to date, but should I stay in contact and wait?
2006-07-08 16:38:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you should of never gotten involved with him in the first place, you knew he was married and he says he loves you but yet he's done nothing to prove to you that he really wants to be with you besides occasionally saying i love you, he is just stringing you along and giving you excuses as to why he really cant be with you, if he wanted to really do it he would have already gotten a divorce, its better for kids to see both their parents living happy lives and coming together to be the best parents they can be instead of just going through the motions everyday when he no longer loves her, you shouldnt wait around, because he would of made a conscious decision before now to be with you and if you don't get out of this now and put off waiting you will still be strung along months or even years from now, find someone who is single and available and who can love you without any consequences, and who can prove that they actually want to be with you by their actions and not their words....
2006-07-08 16:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds cliched, but he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. If he truly loved you, he would make it happen. He may be stepping into the unknown, but if you had a year long relationship, then he should know you well enough to know if that's what he wants. He could take his children to counseling to help them work through it and help them deal with the situation. My personal opinion is that you should not stay in contact with him. Cut all ties and if he misses you enough, he'll divorce is wife and come to you. Let him make the decision, while you focus on your children.
2006-07-08 16:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by casey's girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, do not stay in touch with him at all, let him go, he is a married man. Your kids need you right now. He has got his own family to deal with. He is a cheater any way you want to look at it. What would you do if you was his wife and he had some one out there on the string like he has with you? Wouldn't like it to much would you, didn't think so!!!!! My motto: Don't say or do anything that you wouldn't say or do in front of your mate. With that said would you do and say everything that you two say and do in front of his wife? Stay away from him, end your friend ship with him now.
2006-07-08 16:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't likely to leave his current wife. Regardless of what he says to you, you are ONLY his mistress. The real question is what do you want in life? I think you probably want to be the only woman in a mans life. If that is the case then you should leave him and wait for a guy that will love you and only you and will treat you like the queen that you deserve to be treated like. Good Luck
Source, personal experience...unfortunately
2006-07-08 16:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, FIND YOUR OWN MAN! This man obviously doesn't really love you because if he did he would leave his wife. He is probably just using you for sex. If he really loved you he would want to shout it out to the world! For now, you are just his "dirty little secret"! Why do women feel like they always need to settle? Leave this man ALONE! Give this man an ultimatum, either tell his wife about you or you don't want to have anything to do with him. I hate to sound harsh but sometimes we need to hear THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!
2006-07-08 16:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by meme1972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy is using you. hes not going to leave his wife, his youngest is almost out of the house! and if he does leave his wife it probably wont be for you, it will probably be for someone who has kids that are almost out of the house too! not for someone that has a 2 year old. damn. do you really think he wants to be a daddy for another child for another 15 years??
dump this jerk who keeps giving you the run around and keep looking. there are guys out there that would love to be with you!
2006-07-08 16:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweety please don't stay in touch with him! Been there and done that! You must move on with your life, your children are the most important thing right now.The perfect man will come along when the time is right. I gave up my married man and found the love of my life. Some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers!
2006-07-08 16:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by littlebec 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's married! what right do you think you have to ruin a marriage? this may be rude, but you're an idiot. Wait for what? him to suddently destroy his life for you? Do you know how many men do that kind of crap? he's using you & only feeding you crap for you to stay around. Married men have no real intention to leave their marriages in these cases. You need to wisen up & take care of that child of yours & leave him to take care of his children as well. Honestly this is nonsense.
If you continue to be an idiot, you deserve everything that comes to you in result.
2006-07-08 16:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl is you crazy?? that man just want to play with your toys. he has no intention of leaving his family for you. i say move on dont contact him anymore and find someone who is single. if that doesnt appeal to you try thin on for size. if his wife ever finds out she cann make you life a living hell. im not talking about calling and harrassing you she can name you in her divorce as the reason why she is getting a divorce and you will be bragged into court. this will not look good to your children either cause it will be broadcasted that their mom is a home wrecker so if you are out then stay out...
2006-07-08 16:43:37 · answer #9 · answered by luv41anatha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm telling you it's a no-win situation. If he hasn't left his wife by now he will never leave. The key is to not fall in love with this married man. If you do, he wins, and you will definitely lose.
2006-07-08 16:43:06 · answer #10 · answered by Vanessa W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋