My father left me when I was about two years old............?

Question

My mom was 18 when she had , she told me he didn't even signed the birth paper .Now about 18 yrs later he called me, well he called my mom and said he wanted to talk to me.I forgot to mention that he migrated to another country and got married.I also supposedly have a 21 yr old sister (which I met before).Well he called and told my mom that it had been two weeks since he took my sis where he is at , and he wanted to talk to me.It as been one month now and I have not heard a thing from this man , can some one tell me what you think is up ?I had his number saved and when I call he is never there , what do you think I must do?This is very important to me because I don't know what its like to have a father only stepdads which is not easy to live with.Serious answers please.THANK YOU

Answer 1

Whoever this man is, he is NOT your father. The man who helped to raise you is your father. Because a man fathers children is no reason to give him any respect. After you are grown it is too late for him to pretend he cares; where has he been all your life? I think you should write him out of your life, and give the honor of "father" to the man who helped your mother raise you.

Answer 2

He is scared of something.
I hadn't seen (or at least remembered) my father for 38 years before I found out where he was. Amazingly, he was working in the city I lived and went to see him with my family. He cried, knowing he had more grandchildren.
Long story short, he held a grudge against me and hasn't seen me since (three years and counting). I've trid all I can but it is his next move. Right now he has no idea that I moved out of town because he won't talk to me.
I have done all I can. I have left it and accepted it at that.

Answer 3

I was in your dads position once. I spent years looking for my daughter and when I found her it was difficult for me to contact her. I talked to her mother to be sure that it was ok for me to contact her. (she was 18, I hadn't seen her since she was 2). I planned out what I want to say to her, but it never felt right. Finally I got in touch with her and we met. Everything I wanted to say to her, I said. I was really worried that her mom spent her whole life badmouthing me,but her mom never talked about me. I was scared, anxious, nervous, and worried that she wouldn't like me. It has worked out well. We are good friends now and she has learned that I am really a good guy. Like you, she wondered all her life what I was like and when she met me was happy that I was ok. Whatever you do, don't judge him until he makes a mistake. Be on your guard but be polite and respectful. He might have circumstances that you don't know about that make it difficult for him to see you. Give him a fair chance before you decide if you are going to allow him to stay in your life. Remember, the only people that really hurt you in life are your friends and family. Give your relationship a chance. Good Luck

Answer 4

I understand how you feel!! My mom and dad split when I was little...he got remarried and we never heard from him again, until on day his new wife call my mom and told her that my father was in ICU at the hospital and if his girls (me & my sister) wanted to see him then we had better get there...I got to see my father for about 10 mins before he died, but he didnt know that I was there. Me and my sister never got to go to his funeral, his new wife had him creamated and didnt tell us even where he was barried. I finnally got to see my dad's grave on Mother's Day of this year. So please try and call your dad, and make up for lost time.

Answer 5

My oldest daughter is in the same situation (she's 19).....If I was you I would keep calling and leaving messages....He's probably afraid of what you will say to him....Send him a letter first getting out all of your pent up frustrations and fears about seeing him, and how his neglect all of this time made you feel, and then tell him that you still love him and are willing to try.....That's what my girl did, and they get along okay now....Spend time together, on occasion....Take care

Answer 6

this isnt going to be easy for you but if he was serious he would be in touch with you. if i was your mother he would not have that kind of access to you cause it is messing with your head. let sleeping dogs lie and try to go on. if he calls you talk if you want to but if he doesnt dont center the rest of your life around a call that might not come...

Answer 7

first and far most i'm really sorry. if you're a person that doesn't like pitty, you're gonna have 2 except it, becuase i really do care. if he left you at such an early age and didn't bother to call you sooner, he's not worth it. i'm sorry, but it's true, he should of thought of it. if he was going 2 get married again he should of at least kept in touch with you. good luck and i'm terribly sorry!

Answer 8

i never knew my real father. in fact, the day my son was born was also the day my real dad died.
this man doesnt deserve to have you in his life. he calls once to say "by the way, im still here, and oh you were never that important to me" and leaves his number to which he is never at. i would not persue this any longer, it might just bring you heart ache.

Answer 9

Find out the truth. But know one can make the desicion for you you have to make it on your own. Do what you feel is right foryou.. just pray AND HAVE FAITH

Answer 10

Interesting question