I have been with a guy for 2 years & when we met I was in a treatment facility completing a 2 yr. program for substance abuse.
I knew that he had some encounters with drugs in the past but he was living a clean life when I met him . After we moved in together he slowely started to drink which occasionally I had no problem with. Since we have been together he has gotten drunk on more than a few occasions getting angry from time to time. He now drinks every weekend not always getting drunk but getting buzzed most of the time. I get angry & resentful. I often wonder if I am overreacting. I suffer from depression / anxiety & lately I have felt worse due to strains on our realationship. He has a stable job & I only work part time right now because I have been taking care of his daughters for the summer while he works. I feel stressed. He doesnt think he is doing anything wrong by drinking since he holds down a job/ pays our bills. Disrespect to my sobriety or what?
2006-07-08 16:18:07 · 8 answers · asked by kitkatrecovery 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweetie, he's endangering your sanity, sobriety and health. He's completely showing no curtesy to you and your wanting to begin a new life sober and substance free. I understand the need to blow off steam after work as the main source of income in the house, but there has to be a way that won't disrupt or disrespect your road to recovery. And your taking care of his children while he works! He shouldn't be holding that over your head, you're taking on a responcibility that many women in your position wouldn't take the added stress on. Confront him more, tell him he's disrespecting you and your sobriety. Also, his children have a bond with you for you to take care of them. If he doesn't understand your need for a stable and sober life- leave his a**!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-08 16:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by kmrelo04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you two are on different paths in life. Even if he only drinks occasionally, it's enough to be tempting for you. I'm sure you went into recovery because you want to live a good life, and you are afraid of what you might become if you didn't. Same reason I have sworn off substances. I had to leave my old friends behind, because they didn't understand.
Even though he may not be doing anything wrong in his own mind, that doesn't mean he's doing the right thing for you. From what you wrote though, it sounds like the beginning of a problem for him. Anytime you choose alcohol over the well being of someone you are supposed to care about, it is abusive.
Sometimes it takes a year or two to see how someone really is.
2006-07-08 16:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by linetap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I think congratulations is in order here for you to do what you did.I am very proud of you for doing that, and I don't even know you!
Now let's get down to BUSINESS. You are getting your life back together and he is on the other hand, falling apart. Him going down the tube could cause you to slip backwards and you don't even want to do that since you have come as far as you have, that is for sure. He has no respect for you to do what he is doing knowing that you don't like it. I don't care if he is the "bread winner" in the family there with you. Was you not doing ok before he got in the picture? And also, you could work full time if you was not taking care of his daughters, right or wrong. I think he needs to grow up now. I would let him know that if he did not get his act together and stop drinking it was over. You already said that his drinking is getting worse, and it will get worse until you put your foot down. Good luck!!!
2006-07-08 16:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is being in any way verbally or physically abusive then get out right away!But it does sound like he is being disrespectful to you.If it is bringing you down in any way get out!THose are his kids and you may love them but they are his to take care of.You need to take care of you.I say move out.
2006-07-08 16:36:17 · answer #4 · answered by cmeand3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take care of yourself and do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. If it means leaving the guy, then leave him. If he doesnt respect himself enough to try to clean himself up, thats up to him. If he doenst respect YOU enough to keep his addictions away from you, then you need to find someone who cares enough about you to assist you in your recovery instead of try to pull you down to their level. Good Luck
2006-07-08 16:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very disrespectful to you. If he truely loved you, he would not want to put you in a situation that could cause you to relapse.
2006-07-08 16:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if u readlly love him then get him some help
2006-07-08 16:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you dont need that
2006-07-08 17:16:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋