Why was the difference in age between husband and wife more in previous generations than now?

Answer 1

In previous generations, it was expected that a man would have the means (i.e. a house, land, and steady source of income) to take care of a wife and family before he married. Home loans did not exist, and depending upon where the man lived it might take him years of work before he could save the money to purchase the land to build the house and the income he needed to prove his value to her father. Thus, one part of the reason that men were often older than the women they married. Another reason has been mentioned already: death in childbirth was extremely common among women. A first wife for a man was normally within 3 to 5 years of his age, but second and third wives were often 10 to even 20 years younger. An example of this was my great-great-grandfather. He was born in 1860, and married for the first time in 1880 to a woman 2 years younger than he. She gave birth to four children, and died sometime late in 1890. He remarried to my great-great-grandmother, who was 20 years his junior, in 1902. She had four children as well and passed away in 1912. He married again in 1916 to a woman 30 years younger than he and was married to her until 1932, when he passed away.

Answer 2

Another reason than the ones already listed for the bigger difference in age between husband and wife was that when a daughter was born to a family, it was their job to ensure that she would always be cared for. The male (husband) taking over that job, was seen as someone to care, provide, and if needed discipline the wife. This is not the traditional thoughts of the modern married couple, however, but some cultures still think of marrying their daughters off to older, more settled men these days.

Answer 3

Well, this is a question that my boyfriend and I have talked about (there is a 5 year difference in our ages). He believes that in previous generations, the male were always so much older because they have had the time to develop their personality, morals, values, and opinions, whereas most younger people go through a period of change in their late teens and early 20's. The age gap in a marriage almost was a protection thing so that the male could handle and deal with his spouse questioning and finding out who she was.

I believe that the age gap was extreme because women then were not allowed to discover their personalities and know their own mind. An older spouse allowed for an easier transition from childhood and obeying one's father.

Answer 4

The age difference was so prevalent "generations" ago because it was popular for men to marry young women of child-bearing age. 14 - 20 years of age (at that time) was considered good ages for breeding/child-bearing. The were also young enough and strong enough to help with the field work that was necessary to maintain the families' resources.

The older a woman was the more "useless" she was to the needs of tending the children and running the household. The life expectancy was much shorter back then due to the lack of knowledge about treating sickness and diseases.

Though my answer is brief, I hope that it helps.

Answer 5

In previous generations, men were expected to be wise and mature enough before they married. Both come with age.

Women were viewed as the hope of generations to be, (since they bear the children). However, childbearing takes strength and endurance. The older the woman the more dificult the task.

For these reasons, a man was usually older than the woman he married.

Answer 6

Because in the past the man had to establish himself first than the parents would arrange a marriage with a younger woman or the cultural norms would dictate that the man would find a woman that was much younger than him to be able to survive childbirth. From what I have read, the average age of the groom would be in his 30's while the bride usually was not even 20.

Answer 7

In my opinion based on a few decades of experience ;) , I believe previous generations as in pre 1900, women did not live as long as men. Child birth was a very dangerous experience for women. Add to that, if a woman did not or could not produce children they were replaced, aka divorced, for a younger version.

I think if you would research this you would find the average age of women at the time of death to be very much lower than men.
I must also say that pre 1900 the average age of men at the time of death was closer to half of today's. I believe about 40 years old for men and 30- 35 years old for women.
Ironically, women who did not have children did live to an older age but society but a stigma on them as something undesirable. "OLDMAIDS"
Today, medicine has improved the child birthrate and the mothers survival rates so mothers and fathers can enjoy a long and fruitful life together. Children will continue to complainers :).

On another note, today's young couples in this country are more attuned to their generation. This in general is a sign our society is maturing. In Europe, the marriage age is more likely to be closer than in the US. In other areas of the world the trend follows my description of pre 1900 US.


Your question is very thoughtful and leads to the import issues of life.
Good luck with your quest.

Answer 8

How far are you going back?..In the 1800's a lot of marriages were pre-arranged by birth-right. In the early 1900's both parties were rather young since people died early because of desease. My grandparents for instance got married at 15. Now days a lot of forbidden taboos have fallen. Older men go after younger women because of the mistakes of the past. Older women go after younger men because they keep a high sexual stimulation until their late 60's now!

Answer 9

Because it is easier to dominate and control a younger person, and because marriages were more about property and family arrangement than romance in previous generations.

Answer 10

I know couples who are 16-20 years apart. My grandparents were 4 and 5 years apart. My parents are one month apart. Depends on the couple!