Where in the hell is Osama?

Answer 1

He's hiding out in all of us. You know, that part in each one of us that thinks their cause is right? The minute we all realize that there is no right or wrong — and live it — he will vanish. And so will all the action and money we are spending to find him, the anger we attach to him, and the ego that keeps us bound to "seek justice". Like a house of cards, we will realize that the only thing keeping up this drama is the foundation of belief. Pull out that belief—all beliefs—and we will be free from him, from Iraq, and from any harm. Because we will stop harming ourselves with beliefs. It isn't funny, but it's true. It is the only thing that keeps us from freedom, the only thing that keeps us living in fear. Why do we hold on so tightly? What do we have to protect? Find out who, what you are and you will see.

Answer 2

My best guess is that he's in Pakistan. The government there is very supportive of terrorists. This is not because they choose to be. Their citizens are the ones who cheer Al Qaeda and other groups on. So, if Osama were to be given up, the Pakistani government would be faced with hell in a handbasket.

Don't tell anyone, but he's actually hiding in my toolshed, eating the grass off of my lawnmower's blade. That other stuff I was saying is just garbage...

Answer 3

He's sitting with a smoke in one hand, an uzi in another, laughing at the stupidity of the United States. He's revelling in the fact that even though we said he wouldn't take our freedoms away, he's indeed started a revolution in our government that does exactly that. He's smiling knowing that our president has fooled everyone into electing him for a second term to go to war with a country that had nothing to do with him. He's giddy with the idea that soon he'll strike again and when he does, America will slide farther down the slippery slope of denying freedom to its people for the sake of "safety". He's chuckling because the "leading" nation of the world can't find a single man... nor do they appear to be looking. He's happy knowing he has yet another shot to kill Americans and further his own agenda and cause... and we're going to let him.

Answer 4

He actually has recieved plastic surgery and now lives a happy, quaint life as a tour guide in historic Graceland, Tennessee. He has two ugly as sin children and is married to seventeen wives (three are in his family, the other fourteen are under the age of twelve) and the U.S. government knows this and chooses to not reveal this yet, just to build suspense until three months prior to 2009 presidential inauguration to change the focus from all the bad decisions that have been made (not Iraq, what we are doing there is a just and noble cause) to the fact that the man who killed three thousand innocent
Americans and destroyed two awesome towers. so there.

Answer 5

There's no such person. Osama is a fictitious character created by the US's CIA so it can be used as a boogeyman for their open license to wipe out enemies of Israel's.

Answer 6

He is in pakistan living openly. He is filthy rich and probably just paying them off to protect him from the u.s. He might be evil to you but to muslims and extremists he is almost god and no one would dare turn him in no matter how much money the u.s. government offers. saddam was different, he was a brutal dictator and hurt a lot of people so lots of people in that country wanted to see him punished. Osama is seen as a god punishing the u.s. for its brutal and extreme foreign policies so he has real motives for his attacks, unlike saddam who just wanted to rule through fear and intimadation.

Answer 7

He's probably sitting somewhere with his feet up commenting about who is going to win the 2006 MLB All-Star game, while watching his 72 inch flat screen HDTV and drinking another vermouth.

Answer 8

I think he's either in Pakistan living the high life, or dead. He's on dialysis for chrissake! In a way it's almost better if he disappears, or turns up dead of some unknown cause. If we capture him or kill him, he'll become a martyr for his followers, and create a whole new host of problems.

Answer 9

One would hope he was dead. But I suspect he is lying under a rock laughing at the America's and the rest of the world and probably thinking of another way to screw the world.

Answer 10

If Yahoo! Answers had a top ten questions list, that would be up there. It would stay there too, because we'll probably be asking that question until the 2008 elections.