first of all, my ex fiance and i were engaged for 19 months and weve been through alot. We always fight about petty things but we always loved eachother. July 2, he had to go back to the states (were stationed in Korea) for leave. Before he left, i didnt feel right but i tried to ignore it bec I know, he loves me and my son so much. The week before he left we spent time holding eachother and crying and telling eachother how much we want to get married. 2 days after he got to the states, he broke up with me over the phone. And since then, he never called me. And everytime I call him he would say he doesnt love me anymore and he realized he didnt want to get married. He seems so sure about it but him breaking up with me on the phone after the long term commitment? My question is, DOES HE STILL LOVE ME? He is coming back on the 30th of July but he said he didnt wanna see my face again. Its so impossible for him to fall out so easily and get over me and my son that quick... help!!!!
2006-07-08 14:55:37 · 26 answers · asked by phlegm1134 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
geez lord_ of_ the_ jungle, he didnt find me on the streets, i have a stable job here in Korea with the DOD. =P
2006-07-08 15:56:52 · update #1
he called me today and was now asking for space. after what he did, he still has the nerve to come back and ask for space? soo complicated.
2006-07-11 16:47:24 · update #2
Move the hell on. Is this how you think a MAN should treat his woman? Is this what you call LOVE??? Be greatfull you did not marry him. Get some counseling for your lack of self esteem and lack of self worth. Move home with your parents. Is this how you think you should be treated???? Run, Run fast and hard. Avoid all contact with him and grow up and move on now!!! Do not waste any more time and ruin your life. Go home to the parents who love you. Stay there and get some help. If you had a daughter, is this how you would hope she should be treated by any man???? What would you tell her??? Yeah honey, keeping throwing yourself at some loser! Next time look for a mature and together boyfriend. Not some childish creep who is not a man. P.S. use birth control. Now you have ruined another person's life as well. Be self destructive with yourself if you want to but not with a child. You don't have the right to do that. Is this guy great Father material??? GEEEZ!!! Use your brains, not your hormones already. You have some real growing up to do.
2006-07-08 15:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by Island Queen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It only seem fast in your eyes. Think back, surely the signs were there. Best thing you can do is exactly what he said. When he returns, don't call him, don't look for him, if you see him keep moving. Be happy and laughing if you even think he is in the area or a friend of his is around. If he has made a mistake, and they all do at least once, he will realize it. You can't make him understand that and trying will only make him certain he was right. Didn't say it would be easy, but you have to at least appear to not have a care in the world. Do you really want a relationship fighting over petty things and a man who would break your heart long distance? Worst thing you can do is go to him with the thought of making him realize he loves you after he has said he doesn't want to see your face. You have to act as if things couldn't be better even if it kills you inside.
2006-07-08 22:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by brenda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would anyone want to live a life full of arguments?
No matter how much you love someone you can't be together in such drama. Why would he want to come home to know that it just means arguments? He probably HAS to move on to surrive.
He may love you forever but not be able to deal with the drama. A very good book to read is called THE DANCE OF ANGER.
I have an article somewhere but can't find it right now. I has the rules of fighting fair.
The two you or one of you don't have the tools to make it livable to be together. And why would you want your chlid exposed to such disfunction.
He might love you , but can't deal with seeing your face becsue the relationship just isn't working. Why on earth would a man or a woman want to marry someone and live a life in angery, fighting and drama?
I ask you...What in your past life makes you feel like a relationship like you have is livable?
You need a more positive defination of what love and relationships are all about. And don't get in another relationship until you have matured enough to maintain a healthy relationship.
Let go of this guy. Love can let go. He hasn't fallen out of love. He just can't do the crazy relationship anymore. He needs to be in a place where the love matches the happiness and peace in a good relationship.
The fights and pettiness has over powered the love.
Unless something changes you guys will spend the rest of your life in and out of each other's lfe, bringing missery to everyone.
I hope you can understand this and move on.
2006-07-22 20:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you listening to him loud and clear? He's telling you he doesn't really love you by what he's saying and his actions speak louder than words. I'm sorry, but I think he wanted to leave you along time ago. This was the perfect time to do so, so, he took the opportunity to act upon it. All this time he used you for convenience sake. Since your arguing about petty stuff all the time, just think how the marriage would be. Let him go about his boyish way. You should thank fate, and meet that loving,sincere,reputable guy who doesn't play immature childish games. Good luck to you and your son!
2006-07-22 19:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by ianthra2010 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say that it sounds like you were just a need at the time.
He loved you because you went along with him.
It easy being oversea with military taking care of everything. Now it's back to the states, REALITY TIME. No more playing house, real responsibilities.
His doesn't want to see your face and his SON? (is it his son?).
You are lucky, start new without the coward.
My X is like that!!
2006-07-22 21:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by timer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was missing his home in the states. And while he was out of the states, you were a strong comfort for him.
He may simply feel that he's made the best decision for himself.
Perhaps you should try to accept that, and get on with your life.
He does seem to be making his feelings quite clear.
2006-07-08 22:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have saved the fighting after the wedding, not before. Women are doing men a favor by allowing them to see the real person they are during their engagement.
2006-07-08 22:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. I experienced something so similar, it's just sad.
If he broke up with you two weeks before the wedding, it's because he didn't want to get married. Despite what he SAID to you two weeks before he left, his ACTIONS dictate his true feelings.
Don't give him the time of day. He's gone for good.
2006-07-22 10:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by Rebecca 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl..wake up and smell the coffee...he doesn't love you..period.. probably wasn't that committed. Many men get engaged just to keep the woman in tow..but when it comes to getting married...bye bye.
I would go see a lawyer and have him in court for breaking up your engagement and have him pay..$$$$ for misleading you..
2006-07-17 00:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by Princess Amerindienne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would build my relationship with God and be his bride for a while. I wouldn't want to see this man, but I would believe he should be paying child support for your son. This is why we should all wait until after marriage to have sex and babies. I will pray for you......... but I don't think you should run after him. Let him go. Men never want what they don't have to work for. Make it too easy and they leave. Peace to you and yours. You deserve BETTER!
2006-07-08 22:29:27 · answer #10 · answered by goodflgirl2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋