you have a drug addicted ADULT son who has ruined you financially? Yet, you love him because as your child you love him unconditionally and can never get back your own security/credit - LIFE? PLEASE PEOPLE - DON'T TAKE ADDICTIVE STUFF (oxycontin, heroin, crack, coke, meth, etc) --- AS IT WILL NOT ONLY DESTROY YOU BUT IT WILL DESTROY THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE THE MOST. My son - the addict - truly is a "mama's boy" but the drugs took over and he became the "mama's thief" and said it "wasn't him" and I KNOW IT WASN'T HIM BUT I CAN'T GET MY LIFE BACK!!! PLEASE, if you have ANY idea how to overcome this, let me know. Life sucks and his little brother (almost 18 now and a wonderful human being) hates him....hates me because of HIM. Why????? I don't understand how this can happen to hard working people!!!!! It's not fair!! I found out his biological father was doing drugs with him when he was growing up and on visitation --- I DID NOT KNOW THEN.
2006-07-08 14:33:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
AND ESPECIALLY - HOW COME GEORGE BUSH HAS A NEICE - HER FATHER A GOV. OF THE STATE OF FL - WHERE I LIVE AND SHE WAS ABLE TO GET TREATMENT and we can't help our son??? WHY? Jeb Bush KNOWS about the addiction but there are NO PROGRAMS for people ruined by this and can't afford to help their kid?????? IT F'ING SUCKS AND PLEASE EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE. I am sad - it's gone on for years - I feel guilty --- I feel HORRIBLE. Why are drugs doing this???? Why are doctors prescribing all this crap to KIDS???? All they had to do was have $$$$$$ and they found it (in a group of about 6 - stole everything from our account) YES THIS DRUG ADDICTED PERSON IS THE MOST LOVEABLE --- BEST LIAR IN THE WORLD.!!
2006-07-08 14:37:37 · update #1
He's been kicked out -- running up north to get away from law enforcement.
2006-07-08 15:12:47 · update #2
My ex - his dad was a black belt in karate and a health fanatic when we were together .... things change after 20+ years...... I HAD NO IDEA
2006-07-08 15:17:23 · update #3
Everyone (almost) keeps saying "tough love" and 'kick him out' --- I did kick him out. I did use tough love. Also, just because he is an addict, you can't turn him into the law -- he didn't break any laws by being an addict -- he did steel from us but we can't prove he was the one who did it although we knew it was him. When he does get arrested for anything he gets a slap on the wrist. He's spent jail time (I left him there too).
2006-07-09 03:16:07 · update #4
Hon, you need to get some professional help with this, not rely on Yahoo Answers for solutions to a problem this serious.
Please contact your local ALANON people and get some referrals for groups/counselors who deal with this problem you're facing.
I wish I could help you, but trying to help from a distance won't be very effective for this sort of issue. Good luck.
2006-07-08 14:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by fhornsr 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You have a problem, but you also have an 18 year old son who needs your love, support and attention. You also have your own life to live.
Tell the drug addicted son to get help or you will turn him in to the authorities. Follow through. Get him out of your life and your younger son's life while you can if he doesn't get clean. This may be one of the hardest things you will ever do and the pain will be with you until the day you die, but there's no other choice.
The Serentity Prayer will get you through it:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and
the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
2006-07-08 14:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by themainsail 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a dreadful situation! All too common, however.
You have two options: continue doing what you're doing now, or change to "tough love."
Tough love means: throw him out of your house and life. Tell him not to come back--ever--except perhaps for a short visit (never to stay more than an hour) and then only after he's cleaned up his act. He'll remain a mama's boy so long as you treat him like one. Treat him as a responsible adult who can (or should) take care of his own life, and maybe he'll grow up.
2006-07-08 14:40:27 · answer #3 · answered by Pandak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother of two boys. I believe in tough love. I do not believe in doing drugs...Matter of fact I do not believe in addictions. My boys would be out on their A$$es so quick they wouldn't know what hit them. But If I caught them doing drugs or it was on their person I would be the first one to call the cops...
I love them enough to make them pay the consequence when they do stupid things like doing drugs.
If they don't believe me just try me...
Tell your son to leave or get into some kind of long term treatment center... two choices his family or the drug then let him decide and then do what you said you would do...
Well really he has three (((death...)))
So keep babying his A$$ and you will be going to a funeral really soon... Two choice Family or drug... If he doesn't want to help himself there is nothing you can do...
2006-07-08 14:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough love. Throw the bum out. Change your locks. Move if you have to. Have him arrested and thrown in jail. You will be helping him more in the long run by forcing him to deal with the consequences of his actions - in fact I would say if you don't, then you don't really love him. And quit blaming yourself for his faults. He has his own life to live and you have yours.
2006-07-08 14:38:28 · answer #5 · answered by David L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your other son hates you because you are allowing the older one to robe you and him of a life of happiness. Its called tough love. Pitch him out, point him in the direction of help and hope for the best.
2006-07-08 14:40:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a terrific support group for friends/relatives of addicts. It's called Al-Anon. You can share the experience, strength and hope of others who are going/have gone through the same things that you are. Check your phone directory for a meeting near you.
2006-07-08 14:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by Paul P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you fairly won't be able to do a element, and also you at the instant are not in any respect to blame for his moves or for rescuing him. this can be a tragic actuality of suicide...that those left in the back of wade through. My father dedicated suicide somewhat over 3 months after my mom died, and there is not some thing you should do or say to end them.
2016-11-01 11:42:24 · answer #8 · answered by ai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must be in a lot of pain! Just remember that it's not about you, or his little brother, it's about him!! You need to get him some kind of intervention! Don't blame him, blame the drugs! Drugs make people do a lot of stupid things. Your son needs help, and obviously he's not able to get it for himself. You need to look into a rehab for him. He needs your help!
2006-07-08 14:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have done your job as a parent, have him locked up right away. dont let him have anything else from you, throw him away. That is the only thing that will work -you have ruined him by trying to help. You ca not help some one like that.
2006-07-08 14:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋