My daughter moved in with his boyfriend and called me just now to say that they broke up and she is heart broken. I knew that the boyfriend is not good enough for her because he lied (he had 2 previous relationship and 3 kids) and could not get over his bad behavior of getting drunk and not coming home. She loved him so much. He said that he does not want to see my daughter going down the drain with him and that he wants to work out his problem. He only managed to stay off his brinking habits for a few weeks and then he will do it again. My problem is that my current husaband will not want my daughter to be in our house and I am really torn between them. My daughter has only me in this country and not to give her support and love at this point of time will really depress me too. Help...what shall I do? If I do not take my husband seriously he will be unhappy and use this to further hurt our marriage.
2006-07-08 13:25:29 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You current husband should have realized that when he married you, that your daughter was part of the package. If he can't live with that, then perhaps it's time to trade up.
2006-07-08 13:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by Tia 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are her mother and you would be very wrong to just let her go because your current husband said so. How would you feel if your daughter was prostituting, on drugs, homeless, and might even get killed being in the streets? You are her only support she has nobody else. If your husband really care about you and love you he will allow your daughter back home. If not, well you know what to do.
2006-07-08 13:33:00 · answer #2 · answered by lildee_2303 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be a mother, be ther for her. You're daughter is human and will make mistakes. You might not like her decisions in life, but she will learn. give her advise and just hope she does the right thing. Don't be the enemy, family comes first. Maybe her boyfriend want you guys to fight. If he sees that she has no support from anyone,especially her mom, he will take advantage of the situation. No matter what she will always be your daughter, and if she picks him, you are still going to want to be there, so play it safe. No man should come between mother and daughter!!! YOUR DAUGHTER COMES FIRST NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
2006-07-08 13:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by crass310 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your daughter is grown, so maybe you can compromise with your husband and have your daughter come and stay with y'all until she can find her own place. Your husband needs to understand that your kid(s) come first (and should). What is your husband's beef with your daughter? Has she lived with you two before and there were problems?
There is likely more to this than you have related, so it's difficult to give good advice not knowing the family dynamic, but in general I'd think you should be able to give your daughter a hand until she can get herself setup somewhere...then it will hopefully be a non-issue...
2006-07-08 13:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think he wants what is best for you and your daughter since she is part of the family. You say your marriage is already hurting, but your daughter is your daughter. This man should have accepted you and your daughter when you married him. I would tell him that your daughter needs you right now and he will just have to cope for a little while. Good Luck!
2006-07-08 13:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by melissa_anne_maison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have any close family friends that may help out with having daughter stay with them for a period of time?
I would try to talk to your husband anyway and see if he can come to a compromise on the situation, is there anything in particular he does not like about your daughter?
Would he maybe let her stay under certain conditions?
You don't mention if she works or not, if so maybe you could find her some cheap accommodation and help her out that way?
I hope you find a solution to your problem but if it were me, I would find a way, your children are your children forever.
2006-07-08 13:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your daughter, and you're all she has in the world. Your husband should want what's best for her. It sounds as though you and your husband may want to look into counseling for the two of you.
As for your daughter, does she do this kind of thing often? If not, let her back into your home, with the understanding that it only happens once. (That is to keep the cycle from repeating itself over and over.)
2006-07-08 13:31:18 · answer #7 · answered by Nysa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is how old, if she is old enough to make decisions on leaving home and moving with her boyfriend then she should be old enough to accept the consequences, not trying to just say tough love but make sure that is the only reason you dont jump to her rescue and not just for your husbands comfort because that will always be your child no matter who's name your marriage license has on it.
2006-07-08 13:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by Andy29Pandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't understand or will become angry because you want to help your daughter, then hell with him. That's not love that's a selfish jerk to put it VERY mildly. Especially if her moving in will be short term.
On the other hand, if you've had to help out your daughter time and again, and he's tired of bailing her out of situations, then perhaps you need to exhibit a little 'tough love' so your daughter will have to help herself. I could then see why he'd be unhappy if your daughter's problems are constantly interfering with your lives.
2006-07-08 13:39:51 · answer #9 · answered by DaBigDawwg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is step-dad then he needs to understand that your children come first !! and that the daughter does not need to stay in an abusive relationship, maybe just drinking now but can get worse. even if daughter moves back for a short time.. tell them it's only for a short time then she must get back on her feet again.. if there is a light at the end of the tunnel maybe dad can "deal with it" for a short time.
2006-07-08 13:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her stay with you for a couple of weeks only. Tell your husband if he loves you he needs to support your decision.
If your daughter is mature enough to be moving in with a boyfriend then she's also mature enough to look for her own place, she has 2 weeks!
2006-07-08 13:31:00 · answer #11 · answered by ani2525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋