real answers only please ?

Question

my husband and i were seperated for about 2 months, and during that period he was sleeping with someone else. We are back together now, but i find it hard to look past that sumtimes....any advice?

My husband and I split up for 2 months. He kept popping in and out of my life and telling me he would be right back, and then 2 weeks would go by until I saw him again. For the first month he was seeing someone else. He admitted that he slept with her. It is hard for me to look past that sometimes, and I don't know what to do. I talk to him about it and its the same thing everytime, "its in the past he says, He made a mistake", but while he was out doing whatever, I was sitting in our home crying bcuz i didn't understand why he was gone, and i've asked him b4 and all he'll tell me is that it was him, i did nothing wrong....can sum 1 tell me how to get past all of this so we can move on and be happy again....? Thanks

Answer 1

that sounds like a really quick separation...you were probly still grieving over your separation, and when he was sleeping with someone else, u probly felt like he was cheating on you. u deserve better than someone who changes partners as quick as ur hubby

Answer 2

When you are betrayed by someone you love, it takes a while for those hurts to heal and to ever be able to trust again. If you were seperated at the time, he may have felt you weren't going to get back together, and was lonely, so he turned to someone else for comfort. This doesn't excuse what he did, but it could explain why he did. The only way to get over it is to talk with him about it. Ask him why he did it, if he has feelings for whoever he did it with, and if he wants to make your marriage work. Then, if you love him, you need to forgive him. Don't throw it in his face whenever you get mad at him. It will take a long time for you to be able to trust him, but time heals all wounds, and you will heal. Just dont "pick the scab" by continually bringing it up. I wish you the best. And that old saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater" simply isn't ALWAYS true. It depends on the person, and the situation. Go spend some time together and rediscover why you all fell in love to begin with. Best wishes, and hang in there!

Answer 3

What was split? What I mean was were you always going to get back? Was this a trial split? If the answer is no it wasn't trial well he thought he needed to move on. Where I feel a couple months was too soon its still what it is. If you were trying to work it out during this time with intent to go back then you have a problem. In this 2 months did you solve your issues? If not why are you back? Who's idea was split? If your serious about working this out you need to talk and seek help. Anyone giving you advice is wrong no matter what. Why? Simple we don't know everything! I asked question I did because you gave no real info but want answers. taking anyones advice (outside of seeking help) is unfair to you and your hubby.

Answer 4

That is what I am going through right now but it is the opposite I stepped out because I was fed up with not getting any attention and always coming second to everyone else so after four years I cheated my spouse said that they wouldnt leave but we dont have sex or anything and I get looked at everytime I leave out of the door like I am going with that person, i really feel that we will end up having to go our seperate ways because I cant deal with the tension of the situation we will never be the same because you will always wonder was that person better than me if we have problems do i have to worry about you going back for more its AWFUL!!!!!!!

Answer 5

It is normal to feel the way that you do, but the best advice I could give you would to just let it go, don't think of what he did(you were not together) so it is as if it happened before you met and anyway he is back with you so he must love you. He was just doing what men do, they need sex and they find it, think of the future and leave the past alone, you will find that you are much more happy when you do.

Answer 6

if he slept with someone else while you where separated for only two months, then he did not really and truly love you. be careful since he slept with someone else, he may start cheating on you. also since he is sleeping around, he may (I am not saying he will) but he may get aids from someone else, or some other diseases. every marriage has their share of problems and you need to talk and communicate. if you still love each other then you can work this out.

Answer 7

Sex is not love--bottom line. Maybe he's emotionally attached to you, but needed "physicality". If you "find it hard to look past that"---this relationship may need termination. However consider this....what really cause the Separation to begin with and how would you take infidelity should it arise while you all are together. If you'd still run back to him--then Stay---ITS YOUR CALL

Answer 8

It takes time, and a lot of effort on both parts. The first step should be for you to regain trust in him, and confidence in yourself. Regardless of who the woman was, you will still be insecure about yourself, maybe feeling that he would have liked her better. You need to let him know what you are feeling so you can work this out together. Good luck!

Answer 9

I don't mean to be so cynical, but I believe that things happen for a reason. You and your husband were separated for a reason... and him sleeping with someone else indicates, at least to me, that he doesn't truly love or respect you. I couldn't stay with a man if that happened to me, but perhaps that's just a result of my having gotten hurt before... Good luck though whatever you decide.

Answer 10

It seems most of your answers have come from women. only one guy when I started writing this and he is way too cynical. I'm older, had alot of life experience, not to say i always know what I'm talking about when it comes to these personal matters, but my opinion is, unless the woman he slept with was the reason for your separation, He don't give two hoots for you. If she was the reason, he still don't give but one hoot. That's just my opinion.

Answer 11

Hey maybe ur husband love u and he is want another chance to live with u. Well maybe he didn't sleep with someone else. Look for my advice I am glad that he is back to ur life, because he need a chance to explant to u that how he really love u and care for u.