Would rather tell someone something to their face, or tell others behind their back?

Question

I been having a argement with a family member over which is better. I say it is better to tell them they are not trustworthy enough to their face, rather than them finding out by you telling others.

They say it is better to warn others that they cannot be trusted, rather than tell them to their face.

They might change if you told them to their face, but the would find you untrustworthy, and would they themselves become less trustworthy, as a result of finding this out most probably.

So, would you rather tell them to their face, or others behind their back?

Answer 1

I tell people to their face. I have in the pass got my butt kicked.....
But I never talk about someone behind their backs. I am a honest person.What I'm thinking just slips right out.......

Answer 2

A lot of families operate that way. They are all nicey nice to your face and then talk crap about you behind your back. How can you expect anyone to change their ways if they are not even aware that they are doing something wrong. If you have a problem with the way someone is doing something, whether they are family or not, you need to tell them to their face. Honesty is always the best way to go...brutal honesty is not always best, use a little tact, but be honest. Even if it does not affect the person with whom you have been honest with, at least you know that you have done the right thing.

Answer 3

Let people make their own minds up about others, as you have done.

You don't need to confront anyone, until you feel there is no other way around it. How annoyed would you be if someone told you the ins and outs of the type of person they think you are. Equally how annoyed would you be if you found out that others were talking about you behind your back.

There's your answer my friend.

Answer 4

If its causing a problem, tell them straight to their face, starting with 'In my opinion...you are a' whatever and so on, coz at the end of the day it's only your opinion about them

I would never say something behind someones back that I wouldnt say to their face.

Answer 5

just be honest and upfront. its the best!

I never say something about someone that I would not say to their face. I have lived by this since junior high and it has worked.

Maybe if the person that is untrustworthy knows that you feel this way they may never feel that they can get over on you.

Answer 6

I like to tell it to there face so that my meaning is not miscontrued and I can be diplomatic and tactful...I am easy to read so people can tell if I am unhappy with them...so that they don't get the wrong idea I like to tell people in my own words because second hand messages get distorted.

Answer 7

Tell them straight. I am always honest with the people in my life and I expect nothing less in return from them - at least people know exactly where they stand then!

Answer 8

Tell them to their face

Answer 9

No doubt, to their face. If you have the nerve to say something behind someone's back, you can say to them.

Answer 10

I prefer to be upfront and honest and I expect the same from all of my friends its better to hear the truth than be disillusion by someone elses lies