So my boyfriend and I have been living together for a year now. I am recently divorced and he is too. We entered this relationship saying we never want to have kids or marry again. And the subject comes up often and he states that he is so happy that he never had any kids. Thing is I want to marry him, and I want to have a child. We are in our mid 30's. He has told me before that if he wasn't so against marriage that he would marry me. So my question is--How do I go about telling him what I want without scaring him off?
2006-07-08 12:56:42 · 9 answers · asked by sparkles 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you two been together for a year now chances are he's sticking around and wont be scared when you talk to him about it. Be honest and let him know your feelings. If he truly wants to be with you then he will be there.
2006-07-08 13:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by James B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Approach the topic slowly, don't make demands. Maybe to get the idea going volunteer to babysit a friends/family members young child - not necessarily a baby - but a child that you can play games with and if possible maybe do this a few times or vary the ages of the kids and he just might see how cool kids can be.
2006-07-08 20:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by dannyl410 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There IS no easy way. If he is that adamant about no marriage no kids, there is no way this thing is going to end pretty. You have to tell him how you feel. It may very well end the relationship, but you have to ask yourself, do you want to have children ONLY with him or do you just want to have children? If it is the former, you are probably not going to like the outcome at all. If it is the latter, at least you will have the opportunity to try again.
2006-07-08 20:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by grin900 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want more? To marry this man OR have children. To say "both", makes things a little more complicated. You want the TWO things that he doesn't. The fear of "scaring him off" has to be resolved at some point. Just be straight up or watch the years roll by with regret.
2006-07-08 20:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by What gives? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest upfront that you would someday like to have a child. Give him a chance to say the way he honestly feels about this since you two have been together. He might of changed his mind on children and if not you have to decide if this will make you happy having no children or will someday you resent the fact he didn't want any.
2006-07-08 20:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with him. This is a tough world to raise kids in and not everyone wants kids. Both, my husband and I have never wanted children. We were both clear on this prior to committing to marriage. It is best to be clear and accept the consequences by finding someone else who wants children or accepting that this guy does not want to have a child.
2006-07-08 20:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by solisue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reguarding your "Answer" :
Same reason you sit around and respond to questions you cant answer and provide no tangible help at all, im guessing.... To kill time.
Thank you for your useless opinion :)
2006-07-08 21:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to bring it out in the open before more time goes by.
2006-07-08 20:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by ryle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask.
2006-07-08 20:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋